Itazura Na Kiss- Eternal Love Story
by ShhIAmMoon
Summary: The story begins when Naoki went to Kobe and Kotoko was studying hard to become a nurse. She went to visit him after 2 months since he went and then decided to study hard. She had approx. 10 months left for the final national examination to become a nurse.
1. Chapter 1- How It All Started P1

**A/N: (Disclaimer)** A Fan fiction on the story 'Itazura Na Kiss' by 'Kaoru Tada'. I don't own it or the characters. It's the property of Kaoru Tada. I only added some side plots out of my imagination and introduced a few new characters.

I used the Mischievous Kiss: Love in Tokyo (Japan version 2013 2014) drama and the anime (2008) for my plot lines.

I will use the suffixes chan, kun, san but will change the way Naoki's parents calls each other papa, mama. It kind of sounds weird to me. I will change it to 'Naoki papa and Naoki mama' also Mrs. Irie will call Naoki by his name. I originally also wanted Kotoko to switch from Irie-kun to Naoki-kun but then decided against it. It's cute how she calls him Irie-kun..! (in the drama).

* * *

 **How it all started (Part one)**

Naoki and Kotoko were happy in their life. Although both of them were living apart for the time being as both of them were focusing at their career right now. It's been four months since Naoki went to Kobe for further experience. He wanted to become a pediatrician. Well he became a doctor in the first place after Kotoko told him he would be a good one after seeing Non-Chan in so much pain. Although she doesn't seem to be remember it. At first it was very hard for Kotoko to live without seeing his face. She even went to see him after enduring 2 months alone without him. She originally planned that she will leave right away after seeing him once but that's Kotoko we are talking about. Nothing seems to go in the way she wants. But finally her tour ended well and before departing Naoki told her to study hard and pass her national exam at one go so that she can move to Kobe and they could work together. His simple statement made her determined. She decided she will study hard and make it possible. After returning to Tokyo, she made study plans and genuinely started to work hard to reach her goal. She attended all her classes very attentively. Well the best attentive she can be. Being Kotoko, she cannot stop having her daydreams, can she! She also gave time to her family and tried to get better at cooking. If she moves to Kobe to be with Naoki then she will have to cook for him every day. So she wanted to cook better. She was determined and Naoki being her only inspiration to who she was trying to reach, she believed she will definitely make it.

It happened suddenly one night while she was preparing for an upcoming test. She was thirsty and started to feel dizzy. She took the water bottle that was kept on her table and found it empty. She got up from her desk chair to get downstairs into the kitchen. Slowly she went out of her bedroom into the hallway but before she could reach the stairs, she fell down on the floor. She felt like drowning and drifted into the world of darkness.

(Kotoko POV):

I was slowly gaining consciousness. 'Darn it!'When did I sleep?' I tried to move but it seemed like every single joints of my body was stiff and I couldn't move a muscle. 'It's so cold'' I mumbled and that's when I realized I was on the floor near the stairs. 'What happened?' I tried to clear my head and remembered. I must have fainted on the way to go to the kitchen. I had no idea for how long I was unconscious. Finally, with all the strength I could conjure up, I got up onto my feet and dragged myself inside my room. I went straight for my bed, after switching off the lights. Forget the water; I didn't even have the strength to tide up my books. 'Well that could be done tomorrow' and with that thought, I slowly drifted into sleep.

The pain was gone in the next morning. I must have over worked myself. The day passed without any hindrance. I decided to keep this to myself so that no one would worry. Especially Irie-kun must not know about it. He is enough busy with his work already. That night, I decided to rest. I did some light reading and went to bed early. The next few days were fine. That damned headache and dizziness were back in the night before the exam. I drank several cups of coffee hoping it would help but that wasn't the case. I studied as long as I could then gave up and went to bed. The following test was the worst I had in the last 2 months. Well I didn't care much since I passed.

But, to my dismay, the headache, dizziness, muscle stiffness, joint pains and even the fainting- although it was rear, they started to visit me from time to time. It reached to the point where oka-san and even Yuki-kun noticed it.

One morning while we were having breakfast and I had a severe headache, oka-san told me, "Kotoko-Chan, are you all right? You don't look well from the last few days. Stop working so hard and take some rest. Why don't you go and visit Naoki?" She smiled.

I brightened up immediately and jumped on my seat. She just said out loud what was on my mind. "oka-san, you just read my mind!" I exclaimed happily.

"Baka!" Yuki-kun said without looking at me, "You should go and visit a doctor for check up if you are not feeling well."

"Yes" I smiled at him. Yuki-kun can be really nice sometimes. Both otou-sans were at work. So fortunately they didn't have to worry about me. I decided to follow Yuki-kun's advice. It has been nearly a month since these things are happening to me and my nurse instinct warned me, I shouldn't underestimate it!

I went to Tonan Hospital after class. Nurse Hanoi greeted me. I went to the internal medicine department after chatting to her for a while. That department did some tests and after talking to the doctor about the symptoms for a while, I returned home.

Who knew that this was only the start? After seeing the test results, medicine dept. referred me to the neurology dept. which after doing another few tests referred me to the gynecology dept. And that procedure continued for a while. I went through several kinds of tests in those departments and finally after a while Dr. Miki Furukawa of Neurology called me in for a discussion.


	2. Chapter 2- How It All Started P2

**A/N:** **I thought very hard about the diagnosis of Kotoko but I couldn't make her ill with any disease we know about. I have a very poor idea on medical science and that is why I was confused for a long time about if i should write this one. But the emotional part of my brain beat the logical part and I ended up writing it. So I will be writing about Kotoko's disease, diagnosis, causes, symptoms, treatment- everything out of my imagination which doesn't have any logical explanation. I hope everyone will excuse that and please doctors don't hate me. :)**

* * *

 **How it all started (part two)**

I knocked into her cabin door. "Come in." I entered her cabin after I got her permission.

"Ah Irie-san. I was waiting for you."

"Hello Dr. Furukawa." I smiled at her.

"Take a seat." She smiled back. "Irie-san, I have gone through your reports several times. Honestly this does not look good. I am sorry to say that but does anyone in your family suffered from Neuroshia?" She straight went to the point.

I felt like my heart dropped into the stomach. I didn't know how to respond to that. So far I knew my mother died suffering this and this was after I was born. This disease wasn't supposed to occur genetically. Sensing me unable to respond, Dr. Furukawa continued. "Some of your reports indicate this disease. But it could be wrong because this disease is very rare and hard to identify. I will suggest you to go and consult into the Neuro-Hope Hospital. They are currently researching on that disease and I am sure they will provide you the best result."

It took another few minutes before I could reply to her. "Thank you doctor. I will do as you suggested." I took all my reports from her and was about to leave when I remembered something."Doctor Furukawa, can you do me a favor?"

She nodded. Then I said slowly, "Can you keep this matter only to you? I mean everyone will get really worried. No one actually new I went through so many tests and I want to be 100% sure before I tell anyone."

"I understand Irie-san." She gave me an assuring smile.

"Err... I didn't share this with Irie-kun either. So umm..."

"But Irie-san! You should tell him soon. " Her smile was gone and she looked worried.

"I will. Just give me some time. Let me be sure about this. I don't want to worry him unnecessarily. I hope you can understand." I explained looking down.

"I will suggest you to tell him soon. Also don't worry about me telling him. He and I are not in touch and even if I see him, this should be your decision to tell him. You are my patient and I will respect your privacy."

"Thank you so much doctor... for everything." I smiled at her again before I left.

I went straight out of the hospital after that. I couldn't think properly. I didn't know much about Neuroshia. All I knew was that it's some kind of disease that slowly kills a person. I started to walk towards home thinking hard. 'Irie-kun... He will get so much worried.' I felt terrible. By the time I reached home I'd decided 2 things. A, I won't tell about this to anyone until I was sure. B, I needed to find out more about this disease and mom's condition before I go to Neuro-Hope for check-up.

"I'm home." I said shutting the front door behind me.

"Welcome home Kotoko-chan." oka-san said who was preparing dinner. "How was your day?"

"It was fine." I forced a smile at her.

After changing I came downstairs to help oka-san preparing the dinner. After dinner I went to my room earlier than I usually do as I plan on researching on Neuroshia. I turned on the computer but I felt scared for some unknown reason. I decided to call Irie-kun. I wondered if he would answer as he usually doesn't and sometimes calls back but mostly ignores. But that is justified because I called him way too much after he first moved. Finally when he got mad for that I reduced calling into 2 or 3 times a day and his answering reduced to once or none. To my great joy he answered.

"Hello."

"Irie-kun!" Listening just to his voice removed all the fears out of my head.

"What?" Naoki asked who sounded a bit tired.

"I love you, Irie-kun." Tears formed in my eyes. I missed him so much.

"What happened, Kotoko?" Naoki asked sounding a bit surprised.

"Nothing. I just wanted to tell you that I love you... a loooot." I gulped.

Naoki was silent for a while. "Is everything okay at the university?" He sounded concerned. He must have caught on that I was upset. I immediately assured him that everything was okay.

"Yes yes, everything is fine. I was just planning to study. I have exams next week. But I really missed you so called you." I chuckled.

"Well get back to study then. Talking to me won't get you pass in your the exams." His voice relaxed.

"Okay. How's your study going? " I asked him.

"Like it always go. I am not you remember." I chuckled again hearing that.

"I also have exams coming in 2 weeks. So don't disturb me unnecessarily. Understand?"

"Yes of course. All the best for your exams Irie-kun." I said happily.

"That I will do even if you don't say it. Do your best for your exams." He said. Every time he wishes me good luck I feel like I might fly with happiness. This time was not any different.

"I will." I said as more tears dropped from my eyes, but this time from happiness. "I love you." I told him again.

"I know." That reply was same as him telling I love you too back to me. "Bye now." He added.

"Ba Bye." I replied and he cut the connection. I was too happy to feel sad or scared about the disease anymore. I browsed through different websites and read as many articles as I could about Neuroshia. Although I did not understand most of it, I got the general idea about it. One more thing I got sure about is, this is not a genetic disease. But a baby will get infected if the mother suffers from it while being pregnant with the baby. Also the treatment for this disease was still under the experimental phase. I felt depressed and tired. I went to bed turning off the computer as it was late in the night. I had been reading the articles for hours. 'I will have to talk to dad about mum tomorrow. But I can't talk in this house. If oka-san hears, she will worry. It's better go to dad's restaurants after class tomorrow.' I drifted slowly into sleep deciding that.

...

"Hi Kotoko!" Chris ran towards me the moment she saw me and hugged me tightly.

"Hi Chris." I greeted her back. I was also happy to see her after 2 weeks. We both went towards kin-chan who was on the counter.

"You're having dinner with us tonight." Kin-Chan declared as soon as we reached him. I smiled broadly at him.

"Where is otou-san?" I inquired. "I needed to talk to him about some matters."

"He is in the kitchen. I will go inform him." Kin-Chan went inside. Chris also moved away to attend the customers. I took a sit in front of the counter. I was thinking how to start the conversation about my mother with otou-san without making him worry.

"Kotoko." My father called and came to stand in front of me in the counter.

At first I flashed a broad smile at him which seemed to assure him succeeding my attempt. "Otou-san, are you busy?"

"No, not that much. Kinnosuke is handling the work inside." He replied.

"Otou-san, there is a patient I came across into the hospital who has the same disease that oka-san suffered from. That made me realize that I didn't know much about oka-san's condition. I never asked you earlier because I wouldn't have understood even if you have told me anyway. But now as I am going to be a nurse, I thought I should know more." Hoping that I wasn't to direct I added, "I hope you don't mind me asking."

Otou-san looked concerned for a second. But then he shrugged and said, "A nurse not being interested about the disease her mother suffered from would be weird actually."

I relaxed internally and gave him a small smile.

"Well, your mother always had strong immunity. She hardly used to fell ill. She had some complications in the first few months while she was pregnant with you. But then everything was fine. After you were born we were so happy. After a year she started to fall ill. But it wasn't frequent so we both didn't take it seriously. But by the next year when you were about to be two, she started to fall ill every now and then. That's when something seemed off to me and I urged her for check-up. But I was too busy to give her proper attention that time and she kept on insisting that she was okay. Time went by like this. Then suddenly I found out that she had fainted even on the streets several times." His voice broke but he continued. "I forced her for check up and took her to the hospital. The doctors did what it felt like a several hundred types of tests and retests on her. But they couldn't identify the disease. Later when she was about to give up on going to the hospitals anymore, they diagnosed her with a very rare disease which didn't had any cure at that time. All they could do was slowing down the disease that was killing her but ultimately she left us after a few years. She just left... just like that... and I couldn't do anything for her." Some tears dropped from my father's eyes and I felt so guilty about bringing this topic up.

"Otou-san, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." I said in a broken voice.

He composed himself and replied "Don't be silly. I feel much better now after telling you all this. I feel lighter." He smiled at me pleasantly and I smiled back.

After that I changed the topic into something lighter. I called oka-san to inform her that I will be having dinner at the restaurant, and then went to help Chris with the work.

That night I didn't call Irie-kun. I was feeling so upset that I was scared I might tell him everything. I went to sleep early but that didn't go as I planned. I turned and tossed in the bed whole night and it was nearly morning when I finally drifted into sleep.


	3. Chapter 3- Confirmation

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for your support. :)

 **Confirmation**

(Kotoko POV)

A week passed in a blink. I failed my test miserably. After knowing about my oka-san, I knew I shouldn't delay my check-ups anymore.

' _I will visit the Neuro-Hope Hospital tomorrow._ ' I mentally prepared myself. I called Irie-kun for some courage. As expected he didn't receive. Without thinking too much about it, I called him several more times until he answered.

"What is it Kotoko?" he sounded irritated.

"Irie-kun" was the only thing I could say.

"What? Why did you call?" He asked.

I didn't know how to answer to that. I couldn't tell him I called him for getting some courage. Instead I asked him, "How's your preparations for your exam going?"

"You surely didn't call me in the middle of the night just to ask that!" He snapped.

' _Darn it!_ ' I quickly checked the time on the phone. It was 2:35 am. ' _What was I thinking?_ '

"I'm so sorry. I didn't see the time." He didn't say anything. "I... I just wanted to hear your voice." I added in a small voice. Naturally he got mad. Irie-kun wasn't exactly the type of person who would get all happy and romantic hearing that after being awaken from the sleep.

"If you don't have anything better to do than that right now, just go to sleep and let the others to do the same. I thought I told you not to call me for unnecessary things during the exams." He sounded angry.

' _Irie-kun it's very urgent. I can't breathe. I needed some air so I called you. Your voice is like air to me, you might not know._ ' I thought silently.

"I'm so sorry." I repeated."

"Well then good night." He cut the connection.

"I love you... Irie-kun." I said out loud which only reached my ears. Calling him was a bad idea probably. The little air that was inside me seems to have left me and I found it harder to breathe. Silent tears started to fall. I didn't try to stop them. I cried until I was too tired to cry that night.

...

I had dark circles around my eyes the following morning.

"Kotoko-chan, what happened to you?" Oka-san asked worriedly.

"I studied until late oka-san. Just a bit sleep deprived, don't worry." I tried to give her a dry smile.

"Baka. Today is Saturday. You could have sleep at night and study in the morning." Yuki-kun said.

"Oh he he. I guess I could have." I acted dumb. He just shook his head and looked away.

"You should have slept for some more time then Kotoko-chan."

"I'm really fine oka-san. I needed to go to the university this morning. Our nursing group planned to have a study session this morning." I lied.

"Ah okay okay. You go ahead." Oka-san encouraged.

After the break-fast I came outside and started walking towards the train-station. I had taken all my previous test reports from Tonan with me. I got an appointment with the neurologist Dr. Furukawa referred me. I had to wait for nearly an hour until I was called in. Dr. Shinju reviewed all my reports and inquired about all the symptoms in details.

"Irie-san, I will not get to any conclusion with all these right now. I will repeat all the tests again and also may add some more tests if required. You shouldn't get worried. But if your mother suffered this, there might be a chance that she already had the disease while she was pregnant. If not, then this might be a full coincidence that both you and your mother have the same disease. I think it would be better if you show me your mother's reports if you still have them by any chance."

"Sorry Doctor. Few years back due to an accident my house collapsed and all my mother's possessions were destroyed." I said sadly.

"Oh. That's unfortunate. Okay let's start with your tests then."

I did a few tests and got appointments for others. The next few days went by only getting tests done and analyzing the reports. A group of doctors had several meeting on those and also some reports were sent to USA to a specialized neurologist who was there to work on a case. Meanwhile I decided to find out more about my mother. Well it was next to impossible as I didn't wanted to ask anything to my father. But I didn't know where to start. So I again brought up the topic to him. I told him I wanted to find the origin of this disease so that I could help that patient in a way. Otou-san was a bit surprised seeing me so serious but he agreed to help me. With some information from him, I tracked down the hospital which diagnosed my mother. It was a far-away hospital located in the north-west corner of Tokyo where my parents used to live during my birth. I went there to get more information. Although oka-san died nearly 19 to 20 years ago, they kept her few diagnosis reports on their record as this disease was a rare one. I collected as much information as I could and returned home.

...

Next afternoon I went to the Hope after class. All the tests were done. The results were out. The decision was made. I felt my hands shaking when I put that on the door knob of Dr. Shinju. I closed my eyes and Irie-kun's face flashed into my mind. Finally I pulled myself together and entered his room.

"Irie-san, how are you feeling?" He asked me.

I only smiled and shrugged while sitting down in front of him.

"I am really sorry to say this Irie-san, but you indeed have Neuroshia. We have done all kind of tests we need to. Checked them over a hundred times and finally we concluded this." Dr. Shinju said very politely.

I felt like I have lost my voice. I only nodded at him. I wasn't surprised or shocked. Somehow while doing the tests during the past week; I got prepared to hear this result. I tried to think how to respond but the only thing that came to my mind was Irie-kun. Dr. Shinju must have understood how I felt as he kept quiet and gave me some space. After a while I told him, "I... I understand."

"I will suggest you to start your treatment immediately. Although there is no definite medicine and the treatment is still on its experimental phase, I will still suggest you to start as soon as you can. "

"The... the treatment is still on the experimental phase, so that means... that means I might not get cured at all, right? Even after going through the treatment?" I asked him with a hollow voice.

"Nothing is definite. You have been diagnosed with it at the very initial stage. This is a very positive factor in your case. Who knows you might also get 100% cured. If not at least you would live longer than without having any treatment." Dr. Shinju replied.

I swallowed the tears that were threatening to fall. I nodded again meaning that I understood what he said.

"Right... okay... I... I should probably talk to my family about this. I... I will come back after... after some time." I told him looking down at my hands.

"You should of course share this to your family immediately. " Dr. Shinju agreed.

"These are some reports of my mother which I collected from the North-West Tokyo hospital where she was diagnosed. I thought they might help." I said in a small voice.

"That is great Irie-san. They will of course help. I will review them and let you know."

"Okay then I will take my leave for today." I tried to sound normal but it sounded the opposite.

"Take care Irie-san."

"Yes. I will see you later doctor."

My mind was totally blank on my way back to home. I couldn't think anything properly yet. I needed to talk to Irie-kun. I needed to be held by him right now. I needed him to assure me that everything was okay. I needed him to tell me that I will be alright and that I will always be by his side. I took out my phone and called him which he didn't receive. I called him again at night which he again didn't receive. I only talked to him once during the past week. I didn't call him much since he was busy and I was also too tired mentally to call him. I decided not to call him since he isn't answering.

' _I will just go to Kobe tomorrow._ ' I told myself and with that thought I went to bed.


	4. Chapter 4- Rejection

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone for your support. I apologize for all my grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. :)

* * *

 **Rejection**

(General POV)

Kotoko wanted to leave for Kobe in the Sunday morning. But Tomoko called her to remind her about their group assignment which was due Tuesday. She couldn't ignore it as she will be absent on Monday if she leaves for Kobe today. So in the morning she informed oka-san that she will leave for Kobe directly from Tomoko's house after she finishes her assignment. The assignment took longer than they expected. It was nearly noon and Tomoko insisted that she should have the lunch with her. It takes 6 hours to reach Kobe from Tokyo. It was nearly 8:30 pm when she reached there and due to the long journey and the stress of how she should break this news to Naoki, she fell ill. She vomited as soon as she was out of the train. She felt dizzy and the muscle pain was back. She was taken into the medical care room inside the station for some rest. She called Naoki to inform her situation but he didn't receive. She was out of energy to call again. She lied down on the bed and decided to rest for some time. Mrs. Irie called her after a while.

...

(Kotoko POV)

' _Irie-kun what are you doing? Why don't you ever receive your calls? What do I do?_ ' I was thinking what to do when my cell rang. _'Irie-kun!'_ I jumped into sitting position on the bed leading my head to spin. 'Ah damn'. It was oka-san who called. 'Oh no!' I forgot to inform her. She must be worried.

"Hello oka-san."

"Kotoko-chan, did you reach Kobe yet?" Oka-san sounded worried.

"Yes but I'm still in the station oka-san. I would have called you once I reached to Irie-kun's apartment." I tried to sound cheerful so that she wouldn't worry.

"Oh that's good. Have a nice time then Kotoko-chan." Oka-san sounded happy.

"Yes I will." I giggled.

I lied back again after cutting off the connection. The muscle ache was killing me. Why did it have to come now! It was nearly 9:45 pm when my head seemed to clear a bit and the pain reduced. I got down from the bed and thanked the station doctor for his help. I started to walk on the path which will lead me to Irie-kun's apartment. Fortunately this time things went right and I found his apartment. I took a deep breath standing in front of his apartment building. After leaving my details into the front security desk, I went to the lift. It was already on the ground floor. I entered and pressed the floor where Irie-kun lives. 'Irie-kun, I'm coming' I mumbled as the lift started to move upward.

...

(Naoki POV)

I shut the book and closed my eyes for a moment. My head was pounding with headache. I assisted in a 2 days long surgery on a 5 year old boy who had head injury. I returned home at 7:30 pm. After shower I had a light dinner and then sat down to study. But I was so tired that couldn't concentrate. My eyes fell on the only photo frame that was on the table when I opened them. It had a picture of Kotoko and my wedding. It was a rare picture because in that I was holding her around her waist instead of her clinging onto my arm. I was told by the photographer to do that but I didn't mind doing it. But of course I didn't show it. The photo brought a smile to my face. I suddenly remembered I didn't answer her calls from the past 4 days. I was too busy with the surgery. In fact I only talked once with her in the whole week. Probably she is busy studying since she didn't call much? I took out the phone which was still in my coat pocket and swiped it open. It had 3 missed calls from Kotoko and 2 from my mother. My mother also left a massage nearly an hour ago. I decided to check that first.

' _Did Kotoko reach your apartment? She was in the Kobe train-station at 8:30 pm. Check up on her and let me know.'_

I froze for a second. 8:30 pm? She called me around that time. I checked the time and its 10:20 pm right now. It's been nearly 2 hours since she reached Kobe. Where is she? Did she lost her way again? " _Baka! What am I gonna do with you"_. I said out loud. It's late in the night and she is alone walking on the unknown street, the thought made me panic. Few days earlier a hijacker stabbed a woman to take her bag three blocks away from here. I grabbed my coat and nearly flew out off my apartment. Reaching the lift I pressed the button and saw it was already coming up, and then I dialed to Kotoko's number. It rang two times and the lift door opened. I stared inside. There she was! Holding out her cell on her hand which she was about to answer. She froze for a second and then ran out of the lift towards me and crushed herself onto a hug wrapping her hands around me. Warmth spread throughout my whole body relaxing me. She is fine! She is here! I thought. But the next moment I felt angry. How dare she travel this long distance in the night? If she wanted to come she should have departed in the morning! I pulled away from the hug, grabbed her hand and dragged her inside the apartment with me. "Irie-kun" she called me but I didn't stop. I needed to give her a piece of mind tonight. She shouldn't do this again. She wouldn't listen if I didn't scold her. Once we were back in my apartment I released her from the grip and looked at her. She looked very tired. Why did she have to come if she wasn't well? That made me even angrier. I waited for her to start the conversation.

"Irie-kun?" She seems to have understood that I was angry, but didn't know the reason why. I kept quiet.

"Irie-kun, are you busy? You didn't reply my calls." So that's why she is here! Well this is not new that I didn't answer her calls. She calls all the time so most of the time I keep ignoring them. I don't usually answer at work or when I study and do the researches work. And that's normally what I do when I'm awake most of the time.

"Of course I'm busy Kotoko! What do you think I'm doing here? Did you check the time? If you were going to come why didn't you come in the day?" I used only one pitch higher tone than I usually do. That wouldn't work I told myself.

"Umm... I needed to do an assignment." She mumbled with a faint smile.

"Great. So you have done your study. What about my exam? Didn't I tell you I have exam from tomorrow?"

Her expression changed. It clearly tells that she totally forgot about my exams. I sighed internally.

"I just needed you to see this." She pulled out a file from her bag which had several papers in it. That pissed me off. Did she come all the way to make me help her with her assignments? I didn't touch the file that she extended at me. I wasn't going to help her with this now. If I do, this will repeat again. I needed her to stop coming abruptly like this. What if she came yesterday night instead of today? My cell was switched off around this time yesterday. I turned it on around midnight but didn't even check it and it was on silent mode. I only checked it a while ago. She would have to spend the whole night outside of the apartment.

"Which part of _do not disturb me with the unnecessary things during my exams_ did you not understand Kotoko? I clearly told you my exams were coming and that too will start from tomorrow. You arrive at my door step this late, in the night before my exams and you expect me to help you with those... whatever they are? Yes I know I don't answer much of your calls. But do you think I'm just fooling around here? I'm working hard and studying at the same time so that I can finish all my work here as soon as I can to return to Tokyo. But look at you. What are you doing? You promised me you will do everything you need to do to pass your exams and get here. But you still fail your tests and instead of staying home studying you are wasting your time here." I told her heatedly.

"Irie-kun this is..." she tried to talk but I cut in.

"No excuses Kotoko. I don't want to see you in Kobe again unnecessarily. You said you were okay with me moving here. You said you wanted me to do well in my career. You said you will come around on your holidays. You promised you will study hard and pass your national exam within this year."

"Irie-kun I really meant all this..."

"Your current action doesn't show that." I again cut in her. "If you keep pushing yourself on my way and make me worry about you 24*7, how do you think I will do well here? You are going to be a nurse. You need to start to think by yourself. You need to do your works on your own. You need to be independent to let others depend on you. If you are going to be a nurse, all your patients are going to depend on you. Do you understand how serious this is? If you think this profession is a joke then you should give up immediately. You are going to be dealing with lives and that's not going to be a joke. Do you understand?"

She was biting her lower lips to try to shop her tears from falling. But she nodded.

"I'm so sorry... Irie-kun. I really didn't mean to intrude."

 _'What the hell? When did I tell that she intruded? Did she even understand anything that I told her until now?'_ I thought helplessly.

"I will work hard from now on. I promi... well I seriously promise that again. I will start doing my works on my own. I won't ask for your help again."

That last sentence stabbed me. ' _No I didn't mean that silly. Why would you not ask me for help? I just meant you should be aware of the time and your surroundings. You could have just mailed me if those were so important!_ ' I bit my lip.

"I... I actually never thought how hard you work here. Maybe because you are a genius, your hard works are taken for granted... even by me." She paused feeling guilty. "Trust me, I will be the happiest person for every success that you achieve. I would never want to come in your way. I will try to make it up to you... for today... for every time. I am really sorry."

I was shocked. What did I just hear? Is that Kotoko talking? Damn, I think my words worked a bit more than I wanted. She sounded too serious. Well that's exactly what I wanted but something seems off. I mean its Kotoko... she can't be this... serious! I couldn't think of anything to reply to her. I wanted her to understand my words and now when she did, I don't want her to understand it anymore. This reminds me of why I love her so much. She always does the expected things in an unexpected way. That makes me fall for her even more. But right now in this situation, I don't know why but I felt guilty. I really wanted to pull her into a bone-crushing hug. I wanted to kiss her to senseless. I wanted to make sure I didn't hurt her. I wanted to make sure that she was okay! But I couldn't do any of it. I just stared at her. She looked up at me and forced a small smile. That made my heart hurt more.

"These papers are not really important." She stuffed the file inside her bag again. "I actually miss you a lot." She looked at the floor.

 _'I know! And I miss you too... more than you think Kotoko... more than you can ever imagine.'_ I told in my head.

"Well you should get back to study. I am really sorry. You must have a headache now. Do you want coffee? Shall I make you some?" she moved towards the kitchen.

I still couldn't find what to tell her. So I decided to get back to study. I started to flip over the pages not really reading anything. I hated the feeling of not knowing what to do. She returned with coffee after a while and put in on the table near me.

"I will go to sleep early then. You should study. I feel tried. Sorry for not waiting." She said.

"That's okay. But don't you need dinner?"

"I had some on the train. Don't worry. Good night."

I knew she was lying. Why would she have dinner on the train while she was coming here? But I'm sure she didn't have the appetite after swallowing everything I told her. I can totally understand that.

"Good night." That was all I could say.

She kept the bag near the bed, changed into her pajamas and went under the blanket. I drank some coffee that she left for me. It felt heavenly. Her coffee was the best in the whole world. It was soothing for both aches that I was having; physical in the head and mental in the heart. I finished the coffee, decided to check her assignments tomorrow after exams and I needed to request for another set of apartment keys for her. It would be better to give her one. This way at least I will know that she is home and safe whenever she comes. After that I returned my concentration as much as I could, back to the study. I studied until 3 am then went to bed to get some sleep. Kotoko was asleep already. Her face looked uneasy. I hoped she wasn't dreaming something bad. I sat beside her.

"Kotoko, I love you... more than you think." I mumbled on my own. Then I bent down to her face and lightly kissed on her forehead and then to her lips. She slightly flinched. I hovered over her with a few cm gaps between our faces. She held her breaths but stayed very still. 'So she isn't sleeping! Then why isn't she responding?' My heart gave a jolt. I kissed her again. This time not lightly and lingered it on her lips for a while. But she did not respond or even open her eyes. I got the idea that she is upset and didn't want my company now. "I am sorry Kotoko." I told her and moved back to my side. I tried to sleep but it already left me for tonight.


	5. Chapter 5- Decision

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. That is really inspiring. I hope my story will meet up to your expectations. :)

* * *

 **Decision**

(Kotoko POV)

I turned my back at Irie-kun after he joined me in the bed. I was still dazed. Did this just really happen? Did Irie-kun say that he loved me? Did he kiss me while I was supposedly asleep... twice? Probably he knew I'm not sleeping. He knows definitely. I am sorry Irie-kun I cannot respond to you. I am afraid I might cry and tell you everything that I need to hold in for now and probably for forever. But why did he apologize to me? Everything he said today was true. I was just too blind to see it. It should be I who should be sorry to him. This is not only about today. I have been imposing on him for a very long time now. Come to think of it. I have been imposing on him since he knows me. He even fell in love with me because I was stuck on him like a gum in the hair! Then our wedding was not like he wanted. It was forced on him. He wanted to wait till we graduate. I know he doesn't regret that. I know he loves me. I know he will choose me over his career... his whole life. That is exactly what I don't want to happen. I never want me to be a problem in his life. Some tears fell from my eyes. No no no, I cannot cry now. He shouldn't know I'm crying. He will feel bad. I don't want him to feel bad. I was wrong today. How could I come today? How could I forget about his exams? I swallowed the sobs. If I tell about my illness to him now, he will leave Kobe with me right now. Forget the exams he might even stop being a pediatric, which is his dream and switch to Neurology. Yeah I'm sure he will do that. A small smile appeared on my lips. But I would never let this happen. I would give up my life any time for him. I want him to be happy... always... with me... or without me... either way he should stay happy.

That night I didn't sleep at all. And for some reason, I had the feeling that neither did Irie-kun.

...

Irie-kun left early in the morning while I pretended to be asleep. I got down from the bed after a while in the empty house. I freshened up and changed my pajamas. I had slight fever and the body ache was back. But it was sustainable. Even if it wasn't, I wouldn't have cared anyway. I needed to leave before Irie-kun returns. I didn't have the courage to face him anymore. I have to run away if I want to hide everything. Well that wasn't the only thing I was leaving for. I originally came for 1 night only just to inform him and see him. My assignment is due tomorrow morning and if I don't attend the class, Tomoko will fail with me and I cannot let this happen. I decided to leave him a note instead of texting as he has exam today and worrying about me during his exams is the last thing I wanted. I took a pen and a paper from his desk. I thought for a while what to write and decided to keep it simple.

After leaving the note I went towards the door. I looked around the apartment again. This could be the last time I see this. My heart gave a jolt. Everything I do now could be my last. I suddenly realized it. It made me want to see Irie-kun one last time badly. But I controlled myself. I already gave him enough troubles. I signed out into the reception before I left the building. I looked back for the last time then started walking towards the station. On the way I had my breakfast in a cafe and brought some medicine from a pharmacy for my flu. I had to wait for the train for a while in the station. I went to a deep sleep after the journey began. I was so tired that I only woke up after the train reached Tokyo. My head was dizzy and my temperature was high. I slowly walked home.

"I'm home." I said from the door. Oka-san ran to me with a big smile on her face.

"Kotoko-chan how was your trip?" she asked but as soon as she noticed me clearly she said, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I smiled at her. "I got the flu I think."

"Oh no. Go and quickly change. I will get you some porridge." She moved towards kitchen. I smiled at her. She is just too nice I thought.

I went upstairs. I washed up and changed then went to bed.

I checked my phone and saw a missed call from Irie-kun. He must have called while I was asleep in the train. I didn't know if he was busy now or not. So I didn't call back. He will eventually find the note at home and will call back I thought. I ate the porridge oka-san cooked for me and then went to sleep. I woke up when the phone rang. I checked the time; it was 4:10 pm. I knew who it was before I saw the caller id.

...

(Naoki POV)

I got down from the bed at 6 am. I wasn't sure anymore if she was awake or sleeping. I prepared to leave for the collage without making any noise. I left at 7 am. I couldn't take her out of my mind for a single moment the whole day. Even during exam she worried me from time to time. At lunch time I called her just to check up on her. But she didn't receive. It stung. But I didn't have much time to ponder on it as a professor called me in that time for a discussion. I returned home after 4 pm. I was thinking about how to apologize for yesterday without encouraging her to repeat this again. I entered and shut the door behind. I noticed Kotoko's shoe was missing at the entrance. I stood still for a second. ' _She surely didn't left?_ ' I rushed inside. I checked my room, the bathroom and the kitchen. She wasn't anywhere. I dropped my bag on the table and pulled out the phone to call her. Suddenly I saw it. A note was stuck under our photo frame. I pulled it out and read it.

 _'_ _I am going back to Tokyo. Stay well and eat well and do your best in the exams._

 _I am really sorry again._

 _I love you._

 _Kotoko'_

I read the note again. The stung in the heart was back. I stood still for some moment as my heart beat faster than it should and then called her. The phone rang for a few numbers of times. I thought she wouldn't receive but she did.

"Hello?" She sounded sleepy. _'She was sleeping?'_ I was surprised.

"Hello Kotoko, where are you?" I asked urgently.

"Irie-kun, I'm back to Tokyo. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. But I have an important class tomorrow which I need to attend." She said.

"Are you home now? And what class?" I felt a bit irritated. She already skipped today's class. What was so important about tomorrow?

"Yes I am. Tomoko and I did a group assignment which is due tomorrow morning. If I don't show up the teacher will mark us both as failed." She sneezed. _'Assignment?'_ I wondered.

"Are you ill?"

"I got the flu. I had the porridge oka-san cooked and took the flu medicine, so it should be fine." She sneezed again.

"Hmm." I was quiet. I was still wondering about her assignment when she asked.

"How was your exam?"

"It was fine. Better than I expected."

"That's a relief. Well done." That statement clearly said she was worried that she would make me fail my exam.

"Didn't you come to Kobe for your assignment Kotoko?" I asked her dreading the answer. I suddenly remembered she never mentioned about assignment. She only showed me a white color file but I refused to check its contents. She was quiet for a moment. Probably was deciding what to answer.

"I came to see you." Her answer was simple.

"What was in that white file then?" My heart beat even faster. Another moment of silence passed. ' _I am such an idiot!'_

"Just an excuse to see you. It was nothing important." Her answer ran cold chill through my spine. I was sure that _this answer_ was an excuse, not the file. She sneezed again. I was silent.

"Irie-kun?"

"Kotoko, I am sorry. If that was anything important..."

"No it wasn't. Trust me! I wouldn't have left if it was important. Anyway you should rest now. You must be tired. You didn't sleep much yesterday."

"Neither did you." I said before I could stop myself.

"I slept in the train for nearly 6 hours. Also now for an hour here at home. Don't worry about me."

"I'm not worried." I said but immediately I added "Oka-san is with you." For some reason I couldn't taunt her now as I always do. She laughed.

"Okay, talk to you later then." I decided to drop the white file matter for now. She will share herself once she feels like it.

"Right, bye."

"Bye." I cut the connection.


	6. Chapter 6- An Old Friend

**An old friend**

Days turned into weeks. Neither Naoki nor Kotoko brought the white file matter up again. Since Kotoko was not talking about it, Naoki thought maybe it wasn't important and moved on. On the other hand, Kotoko was determined never to talk about it with him again. She decided she will take her time to think what to do with her illness. According to Dr. Shinju, this illness doesn't have a 100% cure yet in Japan. She found out a new piece of information in the internet. In some parts of the USA, this disease has been successfully cured. That gave her hope. Hoping she wouldn't die right away she concentrated on her studies again. She informed Dr. Shinju that her terms exams were approaching. She will contact him after she is done with it. She also visited all the other hospitals in Tokyo which had a renowned neurology dept. and every neurologist she was either referred too or she could get an appointment with. She gathered a few more information on Neuroshia and most of them referred her to the Hope hospital. Despite the terrible situation she was in, she did exceptionally well in her terms. After her terms she was called in by Head nurse Hanoi of Tonan.

"Hello, Hanoi-san. How are you?" Kotoko asked her.

"Ahh Irie-san. How do you do? Did you lose some weight?" Nurse Hanoi asked her.

"No not much." Kotoko smiled at her.

"Grandma Yoshida was admitted here yesterday." Seeing Kotoko panic she immediately added, "She is doing absolutely fine. Apparently she had another son who lived in the USA. He moved back to Japan as soon as he found out she was ill and took her into his home. He brought her yesterday for a full-body check up to make sure she was doing fine." A big smile spread across Kotoko's face as she felt relived.

"She is in cabin 214 and was asking for you. So I thought I should inform you."

"Thank you so much Hanoi-san." Kotoko thanked her genuinely and went to meet grandma Yoshida.

"Grandma." Kotoko called in from the door.

"Oh no! Why did you come here? I will definitely fall ill now." Grandma acted to be irritated.

"Really? I know you miss ordering me around. Now don't deny it." Kotoko replied in a mischievous tone.

Grandma stuck out her tongue at Kotoko and turned towards a man in the 40's. "She is the good for nothing nurse I told you about."

"Oh... You must be Irie Kotoko san. Nice to meet you finally. I heard a lot about you from oka-san. I am Jiko, Her son. You can call me uncle Jiko." He smiled warmly.

"Hello uncle. Nice to meet you too." Kotoko smiled broadly at him.

They talked about the health issues of grandma Yoshida for a while, then uncle Jiko told her that he had taken grandma to a summer house beside the sea beach. He thought it would refresh her mind.

"I will stay with her there. But I have also prepared a permanent caretaker for her. I will have to leave for USA in 2 days. I will return within 3 weeks with my wife. We might not be able to stay constantly in the Japan due to our works but we will be visiting always. I have applied for her to take her with me but that is going to be difficult. Since I'm not her actual son..."

"You are the best son in this world." Grandma cut in. She rarely compliments anyone so it made both uncle and me speechless. He beamed at her unable to say anything. Then he told Kotoko that she should visit grandma when she has time and gave her the address and contact number.

"You can also come and stay in the summer house for a trip when you have holiday." Uncle said.

"Come and stay in winter vacation. But bring your husband along though. I miss him." grandma said. Uncle and Kotoko laughed.

"Okay I will."

...

When Kotoko returned home that day, she was very happy. She called Naoki at night and told him about grandma Yoshida. He was also happy knowing that someone was there to take care of grandma.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you so much everyone. I'm thrilled with all the responses. Thank you for the great reviews. I'm sorry this chapter is shorter than any other I wrote. I just wanted to introduce a new character 'Grandma Yoshida'. Well You all probably remember, she is Kotoko's first real patient she had to take care of during her 2 weeks training at Tonan. :)


	7. Chapter 7- Devastation

**A/N: Kotoko's disease, diagnosis, causes, symptoms, treatment- everything is written out of imagination which does not have any logical explanation.**

* * *

 **Devastation**

(Kotoko's POV)

I went to meet Dr. Shinju after 3 days. As per our appointment, he was waiting for me.

"So Irie-san, did you decide what you want to do about your treatment?" Dr. Shinju asked.

"No, not really." I was honest.

"You shouldn't delay it you know. The sooner you start the better."

"Can you explain how the treatment is going to work?" I was curious.

"Well you will be given a therapy once in every month. In the therapy you will be given the medicines that will kill the disease. Furthermore, we will constantly observe all your reactions and study them. As this treatment is still in its experimental phase, we will need your family's consent."

"I understand. I have tried to know more about this disease and found out in a research paper that recently it has been treated successfully in the USA and 80% of the patients has the same reactions so the medicine should work the same way as it did for other patients, isn't it?" I asked.

Dr. Shinju smiled warmly at me. "You really are quite bright you know?"

I laughed and told him "You can't be serious. You are the only one who said that. I'm actually very thickheaded."

Dr. Shinju laughed. "But what you said is 80% correct, since 80% of the patients have the same reactions. But we can't ignore the remaining 20% which makes the treatment yet experimental. I also have great news for you. Dr. Ayano Rei who is working on an USA team of Neuroshia currently decided to monitor you directly from USA. He is the one who studied all your reports from there. His USA team already successfully cured many patients. Now he has decided to start the treatment in Japan."

"That is brilliant." I grinned widely.

"I can also suggest you to him and you can volunteer at his research work if you want you know?" He winked.

"Really? I can?" I was surprised. Dr. Shinju laughed out loud.

"I understand. I will definitely refer you to him." I beamed at him hearing that.

"Irie-san, I have checked your mothers reports and found her details in our database."

I was both surprised and confused which Dr. Shinju read in my expression and elaborated.

"10 years ago, when our department started the research on Neuroshia, at first we collected the information of all the patients across Japan for the last 20 years that were available, which was only a few. This is a rare disease. We studied about them and tried to find out every details of their condition. Before we tried to find the cure our initial step was to find out what triggers this disease. It was found out that this disease triggers due to some pregnancy complexity. Several points have been proven across the whole world. Such as:

1\. This disease triggers due to pregnancy complexity.

2\. This does not transfer from one to another by any other means.

3\. If a pregnant woman is diagnosed by this, then her child may or may not have the disease.

4\. If someone is cured 100%, this does not return.

5\. If you start your treatment at the initial stage then there is 70 to 80% hope to be cured now a day. Even the 2nd stage can be handled. But the 3rd stage is hopeless. " Dr. Shinju paused, hesitating.

I urged him. "What about my mother? What was her condition when she was diagnosed?"

I have found out about this detail because your mother admitted this to her doctor in charge who left a document about this. Your father probably doesn't know but your mother was first diagnosed immediately after she was pregnant with you. It was triggered due to some early pregnancy complexity. She was suggested to abort you and start her treatment. Neuroshia didn't have a cure back then but they had the initial treatment which might have had helped her live longer. But that treatment would have killed the child. So your mother chose your life over hers. She decided to have the baby seeing that it wasn't definite that she will live longer. After you were born she didn't went for check up since she had to breastfeed you. During that time she felt that the disease wasn't bothering her so she decided to wait. What she didn't know is that she already had reached her 3rd and final stage. When your father took her back for the treatment, she probably didn't let him know the full truth. He was only told that she was in her 3rd stage and it doesn't have a cure which was true. But he wasn't told that it was her choice which reduced her life. But of course, even if your mother didn't have you, she was right that she wouldn't have been cured 100% back then. So... um mm... Dr. Shinju didn't know what else to say probably as he paused looking helpless.

My face must have turned white which made him stop. I literally couldn't feel air. It took a while for me to calm down. I felt like my mind wasn't working. So I was the reason my mother died. She wouldn't have died in the first place if I wasn't born. I just sat there staring at the table. After a while Dr. Shinju cleared his throat. I looked up suddenly remembering something.

"If I'm not cured fully, I'm not allowed to conceive right? Seeing the child might get this too?"

"Yes. It's not certain that your child will also have this but the possibility is high. Not only this, if you conceive then you will have to stop your treatment. That will be taking the same path your mother took. As a child you should know how your child will react to that."

I just nodded. But this also made me understand my mother a bit... only a tiny bit. She didn't want to leave my father alone. So she decided to leave me with him. But what she didn't know was that the truth would kill me.

"Er... not only that... You should probably also know before you start your treatment that, due to this treatment, even after you are cured fully, your chances of conceiving will get lower. It depends how you respond to your medicine. You might not face any problem at all or you might not conceive at all. It is not definite what will happen." Dr. Shinju said in a low voice.

I couldn't take in anymore. It was too much for me. My head was pounding. My breathing was uneven. I stood up suddenly.

"Dr. Shinju, thank you so much for all your help. I... I..." I gulped. "I will take my leave for today." I didn't wait for his answer. I literally ran out of his room and out of the hospital.

I didn't know which way I was going and I didn't care. I broke into a run. I wanted to forget everything I just heard. I kept running until I was out of breath. I stopped for some air but suddenly the floor beneath me started to move and everything went dark. I hit the ground into the world of darkness.

...

I woke up in an unfamiliar environment. I was brought into the nearby hospital emergency. I stayed there until evening as I had to finish the saline they gave me. Then I returned home. I pretended to be asleep until dinner. I had called Irie-kun who didn't receive. At dinner oka-san kept asking about things but I was so distracted that she finally asked me if I was okay. I assured her I was.

"You are too similar to your mother, you know?" Suddenly otou-san said that to me. I was so shocked that I kept gaping at him. Why was he talking about my mother suddenly?

"What happened?" he raised a brow.

I shook my head. "Why would you say that?" I asked him.

"You're always distracted. Even you give the same expressions." He laughed. Oka-san and otou-san (Irie-kun's father) also joined in.

I tried to smile but it didn't come out.

"Kotoko-chan should have a daughter just like her. It will be fun to watch her grow up." Oka-san said happily.

"Another baka? One is enough in the family. Their child hopefully will inherit oni-chan's brain. " Yuki-kun said.

If it was any other day I would have gladly agreed with him at this point and added a few other points. But today was different. Their light conversation was leaving heavy affects on me. The food seemed tasteless. I kept staring at them. My mind wasn't working straight. It was totally empty expect from the words I heard earlier today.

"Why aren't you eating Kotoko-chan?" Oka-san asked.

"I'm full." I replied.

"You barely ate anything." She looked up at me with concern.

"No, I don't feel like eating anymore." I said.

"You should go and rest then. Don't worry about the kitchen. I will take care of it."

I thanked oka-san and departed to my room. I called Irie-kun but he didn't receive. I sat on the edge of the bad and stared at the floor. Various thoughts circled around my mind. My dad talking about my mum. How Irie-kun and I met. How I pursued him. How he fell in love with me. How we got married. How he is working hard right now. I felt like I was totally selfish. I was the reason my mother wasn't with my father anymore. I made Irie-kun fall in love with me. But if they find out about my illness, none of them will blame me. They will say it wasn't my fault that my mother died. Irie-kun will leave Kobe and return home. And if I die like my mother, Irie-kun will be alone. At least my father had me. What will Irie-kun do? Will he ever move on? Will he fall for someone again or stay alone like my dad for the rest of his life? Well it sucked both ways. And oka-san? She really wants a grandchild. If she finds out about my condition, she will be heartbroken. Will Irie-kun and I never have a child? Will no one call us oka-san and otou-san? I took the small doll (mini-version of Naoki) and hugged it. Tears began to fall from my eyes. I kept crying and crying. I cried the whole night, until the morning.

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm really sorry for hurting Kotoko so much. I'm just pushing her to her limits as she needed to be stronger. She has a long battle ahead to fight. Please let me know what you think. Thank you.. :)


	8. Chapter 8- An Unfortunate Event

**An Unfortunate Event**

(General's POV)

Kotoko went out quietly before the sun rose without breakfast. She went into the places where she had memorable moments with Naoki. She walked into the streets where she walked with him. Finally she went to the place where they had their first date. She stood near the railing. She was feeling so much guilt that it was ripping her from inside. She couldn't think straight and was feeling despaired. She didn't want Naoki to know about her situation. But without telling him she didn't know how to start her treatment. She told Naoki she wouldn't ask for his help or bother him during his stay at Kobe. Kotoko didn't want to get in his way. But here she was, as usual, standing in his way. She always thought she was not a good match for Naoki. Although she was sure nobody else would love him as much as she does. Her love for Naoki was the only thing in which she would beat anyone and everyone. ' _But my love wouldn't stop me from ruining his future now_ ' she thought bitterly. He wouldn't care if he has to take care of her for the rest of his life. He wouldn't care if they never have a child. But Kotoko did care. She couldn't bear to think that she would be a permanent hindrance in his life. No one knows what will happen once she starts her treatment. It could fail and she could die or even worse, she could go into the vegetative state. All these thoughts made her panicked. She felt like she wanted to disappear. She wanted to go somewhere where no one will find her. But there isn't a place on this earth where she can survive on her own without Naoki. The air she breathes always seemed poisonous without Naoki. She started to feel dizzy. She started walking towards the stairs to go down. ( _ref: The stairs were shown in INK-Love in Tokyo ep 16 when Kin-Chan took Kotoko to her 1st dating spot where they meet Naoki & Sahoko_) She couldn't even go down 3 steps before she lost conscious and fell all the way down the stairs. A couple who previously witnessed her crying saw her fall and rushed towards her. But before they could reach her she had already reached the bottom stairs. There were several other people who witnessed her fall and they all rushed towards her. One of them called an ambulance. She was unconscious and was taken to the emergency of the nearest hospital.

...

(Kotoko POV)

I... I should leave... I should leave Irie-kun. I'm always an obstacle to him... always... Since the first day he met me. But where should I go? I don't have a place to go. I don't want to go to a place where I can't see him. I thought hard. The feeling of despair was killing me. Suddenly I started to feel dizzy. I need to go home. I feel so weak. I walked towards the stairs but before I could go down 3 steps I lost my conscious.

I woke up slowly _once again_ in an unfamiliar place. I kept still for a while. I was in an emergency. _Why am I lying here?_ I wondered. Then I remembered what happened earlier. I bit my lip. This is not good. Why do I keep fainting all the time? I tried to move and a pain in my chest erupted. A nurse rushed to me.

"Are you awake? Are you alright? I will call the doctor right away." She rushed out. She came back with three doctors. One of them, to my horror was Dr. Shinju.

"How are you feeling? Do you remember what happened?" One of the doctor asked.

I didn't reply him but kept staring at Dr. Shinju. Why was he here? Seeing me staring at him, he moved closer.

"Are you alright? Can you tell me who you are?" He asked me.

"Yes I think I am alright. I'm Irie Kotoko and I remember everything including that I have Neuroshia. I also remember falling down the stairs and fainting." I sighed.

"Well Irie-san, You are lucky you survived. Your fall was dangerous." Dr. Shinju said.

"Thank you so much doctor." I thanked him genuinely.

"Instead of that I would like you to promise me that you will start your treatment soon." He said.

"I promise I will."

"Irie-san," The other doctor who was checking my vitals said "You hit the stairs pretty hard. You fractured two of your ribs and hurt your wrist. Luckily you didn't break your bones and there aren't any other injuries. But Dr. Ayano is insisting you should have a full body check up again." He indicated to the next person who was standing beside him.

"This is Dr. Ayano Rei. The neurologist, who was supposed to be monitoring you from USA," Dr. Shinju introduced him to me.

I gaped at them. Why would they have to see me like this? I felt pathetic.

"Hello doctor." I acknowledged him in a dry voice.

"This was not how I thought I would be seeing you Irie-san." Dr. Ayano said.

"Neither did I." I said looking at my palms.

"That's alright. You should heal fast in order to start your treatment. I didn't move back to Japan for nothing you know?" He smiled warmly.

I raised a brow at him feeling confused.

"Dr. Ayano will be in charge of your treatment directly from Japan. He moved back to Japan the day before yesterday. I was going to call you this morning but I was shocked to see you in the emergency."

I beamed at them and then I was shocked.

"What is the time now?" I asked them dreading the answer.

"7 o'clock in the evening."

"What?" I was horrified. "I have to call home. I didn't tell anyone before I came out this morning. They will be worried."

"Yes you should. I didn't have your home contact number or else I would have informed them." Dr. Shinju said.

"No no no. I don't want them to know I'm in the hospital." I shook my head.

"What do you want then?" Dr. Shinju raised his brow.

I didn't know what to do. I bit my lip. "When can I get discharged?"

"Well, definitely not tonight." The other doctor replied. "Probably you can by tomorrow afternoon."

I nodded.

"Izumi-san, please help her contact her family." The other doctor instructed the nurse who nodded in approval. The doctors left the room.

"Here, you can use my phone." She passed her phone to me.

"Thank you. I left mine at home in the morning. Good thing I did or it would have broken." I smiled lightly. She also smiled in answer. I dialled at home number. It was oka-san who received.

"Hello oka-san? This is Kotoko."

"Kotoko-chan where are you?" She sounded very worried.

"Oka-san, I'm fine, don't worry. I'm really sorry; I forgot my cell at home this morning so couldn't inform you earlier. I'm in the hospital. Grandma Yoshida was admitted. I wanted to watch over her for tonight."

"Oh. It's fine as long as you are alright." Oka-san relaxed.

"I'm really sorry. You must be worried."

"That's okay Kotoko-chan." Oka-san tried to assure me but I still felt guilty.

"I will return tomorrow afternoon."

"Okay. You try to get some rest too." Oka-san said.

"I will. Thank you."

After dropping the call I returned the phone to nurse Izumi who was staring at me. I smiled at her.

"I didn't want to worry her. They will freak out if they find out. They love me way too much."

The nurse nodded meaning she understands. Then she left me alone to get some rest.

...

The following morning the doctors ran me through several other tests. Then I had a small meeting with both Dr. Shinju and Dr. Ayano about my treatment.

"Irie-san, did you talk to your family about your condition?" Dr. Shinju asked.

"Err... Dr. Shinju, I don't want my family to know about my condition. I can start with the treatment without them knowing. Isn't that possible?"

"But Irie-san! That is not a good idea. Besides this is an experimental phased treatment. That means there is no way we can guarantee that you will be completely cured. We will need your family's consent. Also they will find out soon enough after you start your treatment because you will need to stay here."

"I will give my consent instead of my family. My husband lives out of town due to his work. If you will not treat me without his consent then you will have to wait for a year or two. I will start my treatment after he returns to Tokyo. I don't want him to kick away his dreams for my treatment."

"But Irie-san this should be his own decision. If he chooses you over his dreams then that would be his choice." Dr. Shinju pointed out.

"This would be his _only_ choice in this case. I don't want that." I was adamant. "Besides a patient has the right to choose the treatment criteria doctor. Please try  & understand. My father lost my mother due to this same illness. They will be devastated knowing about this. I will hold it in as a secret as long as I can. I cannot hide it forever. They will know about it at some point I know that." I pleaded.

"Well in that case Irie-san, you will have to sign a few documents proving we are not forcing this treatment on you." Dr. Ayano said.

"I will sign every kind of documents. I will find a part time job that will help me financially."

"You're currently studying nursing right?" Dr. Ayano asked.

"Yes. I have a few months left for the national exam."

"You can work under me then. Just join my team as my assistant. This way I will be able to study you more." Dr. Ayano offered.

"I would love to do that doctor." I beamed.

"Alright. We will start your treatment as soon as you heal. It will take 6 weeks for a full recovery. But you will partially recover in 2 weeks and we will start right then."

"Okay. But doctor please don't involve my family in any way until I tell them."

"That is your decision. We can't do anything about it. Although, I will suggest, you should inform them soon. We will get the papers ready and also you can start your work in 2 weeks." Dr. Ayano said.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you everyone for your kind support. This accident was just a push to Kotoko to start her treatment without further delaying it like her mother did. She shouldn't do the same thing right? Let me know what you think. Thank you again! :)


	9. Chapter 9- Escape Plan

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone for the overwhelming responses. I'm so glad you all like my story. I know my story is moving really slow but i don't want to rush anything. I wanted Kotoko to grow a little strong before Naoki returns. I hope you will agree :)

* * *

 **Escape plan**

(Kotoko POV)

I was discharged in the afternoon with bandages on my chest and left wrist. I dressed properly which I wore yesterday morning, hiding my bandages. I was wondering what excuse I will give for my wrist injury.

When I arrived home, Oka-san and Yuki-kun were at home. Oka-san freaked out seeing bandage on my hand.

"Kotoko-chan, what happened to your hand?"

"This is nothing oka-san. I slipped and fall. They forced me to put on a bandage saying it would heal faster that way." I smiled guiltily.

"How clumsy you could be Kotoko? Grow up." Yuki-kun was also watching my bandage with creased forehead. I stuck out my tongue at him.

I went to my room, took out a set of fresh cloths and went to the bathroom to change. It was quite difficult to do alone. The ribs ached too much. But I took my time and changed. I went down stairs to help oka-san for the dinner. But she didn't let me touch anything. The dinner was very difficult. The pain gotten worse and my face was getting red in pain.

"Are you alright Kotoko-chan? Why is your face getting red?" Otou-san asked.

"I'm fine otou-san. I just hurt my hand a little." I told him the same thing I told oka-san. This cannot go on. If the pain gets worse, they will notice. What would I tell them? Suddenly I remembered about grandma Yoshida's invitation.

"Otou-san, oka-san, Do you know my patient Yoshida-san? Who I call grandma?"

"The one you watched over yesterday?" Oka-san asked.

 _Darn I forgot that!_ I immediately covered up.

"Yes. Her. She invited me to her summer house for the vacation." Winter vacation started from today. "Is it okay if I go there?"

"Why in the summer house during the winter?" Yuki-kun sounded surprised.

I gaped at him, dumbfounded. That thing didn't cross my mind at all. "Well... that's where she lives now." I replied feeling dumber.

"Is it safe there?" Oka-san asked.

"Of course. Irie-kun knows her too. She was really fond of Irie-kun."

"I see why _you_ are fond of her!" Yuki-kun sneered.

"Stop that Yuki." Oka-san scolded him. I pouted.

"If you really want to go, you should go Kotoko-chan." She told me.

"Thank you oka-san. I also have exams after the holiday. So I will have to take some books to." I said sadly.

"Kotoko will be studying on a holiday. Did you hurt your head somewhere Kotoko?" Yuki-kun seemed shocked.

"I do study before exams." I told him heatedly. But he only rolled his eyes.

After dinner I went back to my room. I found my phone on the bedside table. I swiped it on. It had 3 missed calls from Irie-kun! I stared at the screen. _What? Why? 3 missed calls?_ I hope everything was okay. I was wondering what could have happened when the phone rang. It was Irie-kun. I stared at it for a while before receiving it.

...

(Naoki POV)

How come Kotoko didn't call yet? Is she still at the hospital? Shall I call at the hospital? No. Forget it. She will call once she is back. But it's already 9:30 pm. I glanced at the clock. I should call again. I decided and called her. She received at the 3rd ring.

"Hello? Irie-kun?" She sounded confused.

"Hello Kotoko. Are you home?" I tried to sound casual.

"Yes I am. Did something happen? You called so many times."

"I called so many times because you didn't answer any of it." I answered feeling annoyed. Can I not call her so many times!

"Oh I'm sorry. I forgot my phone at home yesterday." She stopped without elaborating anything and kept silence. _Weird!_

"How is Yoshida-san now?" I asked.

"How did you know about that?" She sounded surprised. I didn't answer. She continued, "She is fine. She is home now. She invited me again and I have decided to spend my holiday at hers."

I was silent. I didn't expect _that_.

"Don't worry, I will take my books along with me and study for my exams." She added hurriedly.

"Hm." I answered. I wasn't worried about her exams. I thought she would come to Kobe during her holiday. Well that's what she promised while I moved. I couldn't help but feel bad about her going there.

"Are you mad?" she asked quietly. I wanted to scream _'yes!'_ But I replied the opposite.

"No, why would I be?" I tried to sound indifferent.

"Right." She said and winced.

"What happened?" I asked warily.

"Nothing nothing." That reply was again _weird_ but I didn't ask further.

"How was your day?" She asked me.

"It was good. So when are you leaving?" I asked her curiously.

"Tomorrow."

"When will you return?"

"After 2 weeks. The day before my collage starts."

That answer pissed me off. She didn't have any plans to visit here. She would come during her exams and assignments but not on her holidays.

"Fine. Have a nice trip then. Bye." I wanted to cut the connection but she stopped me.

"Ah Irie-kun, I love you?" It sounded like a question.

"Are you asking me if you loved me?" I was surprised. She laughed.

"No. I meant you know, right? That I love you."

"I know!" I was surprised. So in return I tried to surprise her too.

"I love you too Kotoko." And I knew I nailed it. I just knew. She was silent. Probably her mouth was hanging open and she might have entered her day dreaming session. I laughed internally imagining her facial expressions. I decided to leave her alone to have her own time.

"Bye now." I said and without waiting for her response I dropped the call. I smiled, then remembered she wasn't coming to Kobe, I sighed.

...

(Kotoko POV)

' _I love you too Kotoko_ ' that sentence kept ringing in my ears. I couldn't hold my tears. Fortunately he had dropped the call and I didn't have to say anything back because my voice has left me for good and wasn't planning to return soon. I was so happy and so sad at the same time that my heart felt like exploding. I didn't know which pain was stronger anymore; physical- that I was having on my ribs or the mental that I was having on my heart.


	10. Chapter 10- A Helpline

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone. It means a lot really. :)

* * *

 **A Helpline**

(General POV)

Kotoko decides to go to the summer house after resting for one day at home. She wanted to make sure that she wouldn't be a burden to grandma Yoshida. She called grandma to inform her that she will be arriving tomorrow morning. Grandma happily replied that she will be waiting. Kotoko rested the whole morning. After lunch she went to Hope and cleared her all dues for yesterday. Then she went shopping and bought all the necessary things she will need in the next two weeks, such as her medicines, bandages, small pulling luggage and gifts for grandma Yoshida. She stayed very careful for the rest of the day so that no one notices her bandages.

Next morning she went to the summer house. She has decided she will confess everything to grandma Yoshida. When she reached the summer house she immediately hugged grandma carefully. When grandma inquired about her hand she said she will explain later. She called home and informed them that she already reached. In the afternoon, grandma asked Kotoko again how she injured herself. Kotoko hesitated. She wanted to be truthful to at least one person. But she was worried grandma might tell anyone at Tonan hospital or might even tell Naoki. So she only told her that her mother's disease was triggered due to conceiving her and she might not ever conceive due to some complications. She didn't tell anyone this because she didn't want to worry anyone and she wants Naoki to achieve his goal without any hindrances. But she didn't tell her about having Neuroshia and about the injuries, she said that she wasn't paying attention and she fell from the stairs due to which she fractured her ribs and injured the wrist. She ran away to the summer house to clear her mind. She wants to start her treatment but she is scared. What if things go wrong? She didn't tell grandma that she might die. She cried for a long time. Grandma Yoshida was shocked. She was literally speechless. She hugged and patted Kotoko's shoulders and let her cry all she wanted.

The care-taker who was assigned to take care of grandma was a very kind woman. She saw Kotoko upset and didn't bother them. Instead she cooked delicious dinner for them. Grandma didn't let Kotoko sleep alone and insisted to share her room. Kotoko didn't object. She also didn't want to be alone. Kotoko slept early that night. Kotoko's cell rang around mid night. Grandma thought for a second before deciding to answer the call.

...

(Naoki POV)

Kotoko didn't call yesterday, neither today. 'Baka! You should at least inform after you reach there.' It was midnight. I decided to call her anyway. After a few rings the call was answered, but it wasn't Kotoko who answered.

"Hello? Irie sensei?"

"Grandma Yoshida?" I asked.

"Yes. Kotoko went to sleep early."

"Oh, I understand."

"Your wife talks in her sleep. It's so fun to watch her sleep." She laughed.

'Oh I miss that so much!' The thought saddened me.

"She must be giving you a hard time." I told her.

"No not at all. You should worry about her. She is the one having a hard time, not me." Grandma sounded serious but then laughed. I laughed hearing that. These two really are a perfect competition to each other.

"How are you grandma? I heard you were in the hospital again. Is everything alright?" I asked her.

"Hospital? When?" Grandma sounded confused.

"Didn't you get discharged the day before yesterday?" I wondered. Grandma was quiet for a while.

"Where did you hear this from?" Grandma asked instead of answering.

"I heard from Kotoko. Wasn't she with you for the night in the hospital?" I asked wondering what was happening.

"Oh." She suddenly seemed to understand. "Kotoko must have told you. I got confused. Sorry Irie sensei. I am absolutely fine now."

"That's good to know. You should take good care of yourself." I told her.

"Yes, well I'm going to have a great vacation in these two weeks. I was so excited to see her this morning." She said brightly.

"This morning?" I was confused. "Didn't Kotoko arrive yesterday?"

"No, she arrived today. She said she needed to do some shopping yesterday. She bought gifts for me. She got me pyjamas, a hand bag and guess what, a beach hat for summer!" grandma laughed. "She said it remained her of me so she bought that." I laughed out loud hearing that. This is so like Kotoko.

"Your wife is a very lovely woman sensei. Make sure you give her more time. She is too innocent for her own good." Grandma said kindly.

"I will do that." I promised her.

"You should sleep now. I will inform her you called tomorrow morning."

"Okay thank you grandma. Have a good night sleep. Also don't give my wife a hard time and don't let her give you any." I joked.

Grandma laughed out loud. "Yes I got that. Good night."

"Bye."

After dropping the call I went to bed. I wanted Kotoko with me so badly right now. I missed her more than ever. I wanted to see her sleeping face. I wanted to hear her calling my name in her sleep. I wanted to hold her close to me and fall asleep.

'I miss you wifey.' I mumbled sadly.

...

(Kotoko POV)

Next morning grandma and I went to the beach for a walk. It was a warm day since the sun was shining brightly. Grandma and I shot some pictures. She was wearing the hat I gave her yesterday. After a while I sat down on the beach and called Irie-kun. I heard about his call from grandma. She blackmailed me that if I don't tell him everything then she will. This is exactly what I was afraid of, but I showed her that I didn't care.

"Hello?" Irie-kun received.

"Hello Irie-kun. How are you?"

"I'm doing fine. How are you? You didn't inform me after you reach."

"Oh. I'm sorry about that." I was surprised. I didn't expect him to wait for that. "I was too excited that I forgot." I gave him an excuse to cover my surprised tone.

"What are you doing? Where is grandma?" He asked me.

"We came out for a walk on the beach. She is doing something on her phone right now."

"I think I know what she is doing." Irie-kun replied.

"What?" I was surprised.

"She just sent me some photos of you both. Hang on."

I was shocked. I got up to go near grandma but stopped when I heard him say,

"Kotoko what happened to your hand? Why do you have bandage on it?"

I was astounded. I opened and closed my mouth unable to say anything. I looked at grandma who was watching me and smiled at me mischievously.

"Kotoko?" He urged.

"Its... it's nothing Irie-kun. I just hurt my hand a little."

Irie-kun was silent. "When?" He asked.

"Umm... the night I stayed at the hospital." I replied.

Irie-kun was again silent. I was afraid to ask what he was thinking.

"Irie-kun?" I called out as he was still silent.

"How come I never heard about that?" His voice sounded cold. Is he mad at me that I didn't tell him?

"I didn't want to worry you. It's just a small injury. You know me. It's really nothing." I tried to assure him.

He again didn't say anything. I decided I should drop the call for now before he asks me anything else.

"Irie-kun, I should go to grandma now. I will talk to you later. Bye."

...

(Naoki POV)

I was frozen on the spot. Did she just hang up on me? What the hell is going on with her? Did she know that the bandage on her hand pricked my heart? She didn't bother to tell me that she was hurt when she literally tells me about every single thing that happens around her. I felt a bit angry when I asked her why she didn't tell me. But her answer shot a bullet through my heart. 'She didn't want to worry me?' Did she not know that not knowing things about her worry me more? This reminded me of the last time she came to Kobe and I told her off. But I couldn't believe this could be the reason for which she didn't tell me that she got hurt. I was still processing what I should reply when she said she needed to go and hang up on me. She rarely does that. I cannot remember when she last hung up without waiting for my reply. It's always me who did that. I stood there for a long time until a nurse called me for a check up on a patient.

...

(Kotoko POV)

I rushed to grandma after dropping the call. "Grandma! How could you do this?" I asked her with an angry voice. My ribs were starting to hurt.

"I told you, you better tell him everything." She answered in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Grandma, please don't do this." Tears started to fall from my eyes. "I cannot do this to him. I would die of guilt. I promise you I will fight until I succeed. I promise you I won't die. I won't give up until I recover fully."

"Why would you die?" Grandma asked suspiciously. I had forgotten that I didn't tell her everything. I tried to cover it.

"I'm just saying. I cannot depend on him forever. I need to become an independent woman to be a good wife to him. He is too good for me. He never deserved a good for nothing wife like me. I was fated to him. But it's up to me to become someone who he can be proud of. I don't want him to take care of me forever. I want to do that myself. I want to learn how to do that. I want to stop troubling him all the time. I want to become home to him. I want to become someone with who he will be at peace. Please grandma, try to understand me... please..." I pleaded.

Grandma pouted. But then she came to me and hugged me. I winched and she immediately pulled away a little and after a while she said,

"You're right in saying that you need to become independent. I like what you just said so I will let you slip this time. But remember, anytime when you have a hard time, you know where to find me." She smiled gently.

I hugged her tight and smiled.

The next days of the vacation were fun. We visited places together, spend time on the beach, recorded videos and took lots of pictures. I bought gifts for everyone back at home.


	11. Chapter 11- Determination

**Determination**

(General POV)

Kotoko didn't forget to inform Naoki after she returned to Tokyo. She knew Naoki will want to hear the news. Over the last 2 weeks she planned very carefully how to begin her treatment without anyone knowing the truth. She planned, then re-planned everything and now finally she was ready and started the conversation with Naoki after informing that she has returned.

"Umm... Irie-kun?" Kotoko called him nervously.

"Yes?" Naoki was nonchalant.

"I needed some advice. If you are not busy..." She didn't sound sure.

"About what?" Naoki asked feeling curious.

Kotoko remained silent for a while making Naoki a bit impatient.

"I'm not sure where to start from." Kotoko stated honestly.

"Huh?" That made Naoki surprised.

"Did you know that my mother died suffering from Neuroshia?" She asked finally.

It was Naoki's turn to remain silent. He wasn't aware of that piece of information. They didn't talk much about Kotoko's mother since she doesn't remember her much.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware of that." Naoki replied softly.

"That's okay. You don't have to be sorry. I never told you that anyway." Kotoko assured him so that he didn't feel guilty. "Actually I didn't know much about her condition, since I didn't understand anything related to that disease." She paused for a while. Naoki waited in silence.

"But now that I'm studying to become a nurse I thought I should find out more. So I talked to Dr. Miki Furukawa of Neurology department about the disease and she referred me to the Neuro-Hope Hospital. I went there and found out a patient who is suffering from the same disease." Kotoko paused again, not sure how to continue after that.

"A patient?" Naoki asked mentally noting that he needed to find out more about Neuroshia.

"Yes. You see, it's a very rare disease. There were only 2 other patients in the last 10 years who suffered this. It's treatment is still in experimental phase and only recently a few patients were successfully cured in USA. The doctor who is in charge of her has moved back to Japan few weeks ago after she was diagnosed. He was working on the team which cured many patients in USA recently." Kotoko gulped quietly. She needed to make up a story now. "When I wanted to meet the patient, she refused. But you know I always find a way." She giggled and Naoki sighed at that. She was only adding this part so Naoki will never want to see the patient.

"Well since it's an experimental treatment, the patient wasn't sure if she wanted it. But this is the only way so the doctors convinced her. She finally agreed for the treatment and went though the required tests. When I showed my interest to see those reports and find out more about the disease, the doctor who is in charge offered me to join his team." Kotoko took a deep breath after saying all these.

Naoki was genuinely surprised. "You got a job offer in a research team when you are not even a nurse?"

"I won't join as a nurse. You might have heard of Dr. Ayano Rei? He asked me to work as his assistant until I pass my national exam."

Naoki thought hard. He had heard that name before. Then he remembered, he read about Dr. Ayano and he was a very capable neurologist.

"I already told Dr. Ayano that I was thick-headed but he insisted that I should give it a shot. I can always drop out if I don't fit there. I also won't let this affect my study, I promise." Kotoko added hurriedly as Naoki was quiet."

"Well that's really great Kotoko. I have read about Dr. Ayano and he is one of the best neurologists of our nation. You will definitely do well if you work under him. Just try your best okay?" Naoki encouraged her. He felt happy for her.

"You sure that's a good idea right?" Kotoko tried to sound excited.

"Positive." Naoki answered.

"Okay. Kotoko beamed.

"When did all these happen?" Naoki asked since this was the first time he heard about all these.

"Err..." That caught Kotoko off guard. She tried to think quickly what to answer. "Well, it's been a while. I took some reports on Neuroshia to show you in Kobe."

Naoki was surprised. Whatever that was inside the white file, he didn't expected it to be this. "So... so that white file..."

Kotoko didn't let him finish. "Yes, but they weren't important. I was just too impatient to show you after I found out about her. But then I thought I shouldn't get involved. But no matter what I do, I couldn't take that out of my mind and I really want to help her. She reminded me of oka-san and I feel like helping her will be the best way to do something for my oka -san." She finished in a small voice.

'Right. Make this sound as doing something for oka-san. Perfect.' Kotoko mentally cheered herself.

"I understand." Naoki said softly. "You should join the team."

"Thank you Irie-kun."

"Hm. When will you start?"

"I'll go and see Dr. Ayano tomorrow. I will find out more tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Well I will let you get back to your study now then." Kotoko said.

"Right."

"Good night. I love you."

"Good night." Naoki replied.

...

That night during dinner she told the same thing to the rest of her family. Everyone was happy and cheered for her. She felt really bad for lying to everyone. But she consoled her by watching their happy faces and thinking about how they will react if she told them the truth. Everyone will simply freak out.

...

Her college started next morning. She went to Hope that afternoon. She started her treatment with signing the consent papers and also joining the team as the youngest member as an assistant. She left her father's information for emergency contact. The doctors injected her some medicines and also prescribed her several others. They will decide the dose after seeing how she reacts to those. On her way home she bought several books which were referred by Dr. Ayano. If she was going to work as an assistant, she needed to know more about Neuroshia.

...

Time started to pass faster or maybe it seemed like that to Kotoko as she became very busy with her studies and research on Neuroshia. Her national exams also approached. She requested Dr. Ayano to postpone her monthly therapy until she was done with her exams. Dr. Ayano wasn't happy with the idea but he knew that the exam was very important so he agreed. Kotoko had to take a therapy every month. That therapy is physically very painful which she compares as the bone breaking experience. She had to stay in the hospital for 2 days and she would stay feverish even after the muscle pain subsides. About her staying in the hospital, she told half truth to everyone at home. She told them about the therapy but everyone just thought that there was another patient who she really wanted to help. Due to the treatment she was receiving, the symptoms of her illness were rarely seen in her. She will silently isolate herself into her room whenever she gets the pain attacks. She studied as hard as she could for her exams and finally they were done. When the result day arrived, she was so anxious that she couldn't even sit down for too long. Tomoko, Marina, Moto-chan and Keita accompanied her at home that day. She only relaxed after knowing that she passed while everyone else was quite surprised seeing her pass and joked about it. But they all were happy and celebrated together. That night Kotoko called Naoki several times. She was so happy, jumping around her room; the fact that she was ill didn't even cross her mind. But sadly Naoki didn't answer and she nearly was about to go to Kobe right then to inform him that she passed. She controlled the urge with difficulty. She shouldn't run off to Kobe again without knowing if he was busy. She decided to wait until tomorrow and went to sleep hugging tightly the mini teddy-Naoki.

Naoki called Kotoko very early in the following morning. It took a few moments for Kotoko to wake up properly but when she did, she jumped on the bed and informed him about her result very excitedly. Naoki felt so happy and kept smiling even after they dropped the call. Naoki also told Kotoko that he was proud of her. Kotoko literally danced around her room that morning.

* * *

 **A/N:** I think i should apologize to everyone that i'm delaying so much in informing Naoki. In the original story Naoki was in Kobe for nearly a year and a half and he did not visit home. At least it wasn't shown. The story just took a leap after Kotoko's first visit to Kobe and then suddenly her exams were done. Results were out. Then again another leap showing 4 months passed since her results came out. I actually stuck to that, not changing the part. Yes, Kotoko made him worried but then she acted nothing happened. Kotoko always keeps surprising him and also over reacts sometimes, so he didn't think something serious might happen. I'm actually defending Naoki as I feel so sorry for him now. :( But I also stopped Kotoko visiting Kobe again after her results were out because, well he deserves it for being a jerk last time!

Thank you so much everyone for liking my story and for all the reviews. I love you all. As this chapter is shorter, I promise I will update the next one sooner. :)


	12. Chapter 12- A little Shock p1

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for all the support. :)

* * *

 **A little Shock (part one)**

(Kotoko POV)

A week has already passed since my result came out. I had to restrain myself with difficulty from running off to Kobe. I'm sure, the minute Irie-kun will see me he will know I'm not okay. I am like an open book to him. Nothing can escape his sharp eyes. I read a book on neurology whole afternoon. I had been studying neurology since the previous few months very hard along with my academic works. Amazingly I found out that nothing is too difficult when you try your best. Besides, nothing is boring when you are desperate. I'm glad that I finally found out what field I liked and it was neurology. I wouldn't kid myself saying it's easy, but I wouldn't say it's not my cup of tea either. At least I didn't found myself throwing the books out of the window or banging my head on a wall, yelling. On the contrary, I actually quite enjoyed it. I went downstairs at the evening. Oka-san was in the kitchen preparing dinner. I joined to help her.

"Kotoko-chan, let's go for shopping tomorrow." She told me after a while.

"Okay. What do you want to buy?" I asked her.

"New cloths for everyone. It's been a while since we went shopping, isn't it?" She replied delightfully.

"Yap." I agreed with her. But then suddenly I felt guilty. "I'm sorry oka-san. I stay too busy and don't give you enough time."

"Don't be silly dear." She said kindly. "You do more than anyone else in this house. You keep the house warm you know?"

I offered her a big smile. I felt so touched that my eyes filled with water. I gave her a back hug. She patted my hands. Then I started to chop some vegetables.

"We should buy something for Naoki too. Don't you think?" She asked me.

"Umm okay... Is he coming home for a visit?" I asked her with hesitation.

"No, he is not. He is busy with his thesis. He said he will visit after he is done with it. But aren't you going to Kobe? I thought you would want to see him after your exam." She asked me with surprise.

"I wanted to. But he is busy and I don't want to disturb him." I replied in a small voice.

"What do you mean? Why would he be disturbed by you?" She stopped stirring the curry and looked at me with widen eyes. I smiled to assure her.

"Trust me; I'm very efficient in that department oka-san." I joked with her. She laughed at that and continued the stirring.

"Anyway, I don't have off at my hospital work either. So I can't go." I added.

"Hmm." She nodded in approval. After that she didn't bring this topic anymore.

...

(Naoki POV)

I was reading an important article after dinner when my cell rang. It must be Kotoko. I got up to get the phone from my bed and remembered that she didn't call me the past 2 days. But the cell flashed 'oka-san' as I took it on my hands. I felt slightly bad that it wasn't her. Not that I didn't want to talk to oka-san.

"Hello?" My voice sounded tired even to my own ears.

"Naoki, are you busy?" Oka-san asked.

"Yes, I am." I replied. I knew if I tell her that I was busy, despite that, she will say what she wants to say.

"Have you finished your dinner?" She asked me with concerned voice.

"Yes. Already done that."

"Good. Are you studying now?"

"Yes."

"Don't you ever rest? Your voice sounds so tired." She said in a worried tone.

"I am fine oka-san. I am eating and sleeping enough." I replied in a sleepy voice.

"Whatever you say." She replied. I knew she wouldn't believe me. My voice wasn't convincing enough.

"Can't you take 2 days off and visit home?" She finally stated the reason for what she had called.

"The professor wouldn't let me off now. We are working on a very important project." I sighed.

"Oh. Kotoko-chan is busy at her work too." Oka-san said sadly.

"Busy? Is she?" I asked. So this is why she isn't calling.

"Yes. Well she will be moving to Kobe soon anyway. I will ask her when she will apply at Kobe. You go and get some sleep now. You can work in the morning." Oka-san ordered.

"Hm." I replied. But after finishing the call I did retire to the bed. I was too tired and oka-san was right, I can work in the morning.

...

(Kotoko POV)

Another week has passed. I applied for a position as a nurse in the Neuro-Hope Hospital during the last week and I was appointed today. I will officially start my work from this week. I started walking towards otou-san's restaurant from the station. I had invited everyone at home for a treat at my father's restaurant. As expected, I was the first to arrive. I helped Chris and Kin-chan to prepare dinner. An hour later oka-san and otou-san arrived and after another 10 minutes Yuki-kun arrived with Konomi-chan. Kin-chan served us all with drinks. Beers for otou-sans and oka-san, while Yuki-kun, Konomi-chan and I had fruit juices. I stopped drinking alcohol 6 months ago as it has a side effect with my treatment. If I consume alcohol I will suffer from body swelling and severe breathing problem. This is probably the only piece of information that everyone knows of. As I found out about my allergic reaction in a hard way. But let's not go there for now. Also, when I said everyone, that excluded Irie-kun. He doesn't know about it. When everyone took their respective glasses in their hands, it was then I declared that I got officially hired as a nurse.

"I have good news for you all. I got hired as a nurse. I will officially start working soon." I announced with a bright smile on my face.

Everyone cheered for me and congratulated me holding up the glasses. Then the dinner was served.

"When do you plan on to leave Kotoko-chan?" Oka-san asked me.

"Leave?" I was confused at her question.

"Oh no... We need to go to shopping again. We need to buy lots of things. We should make a list first thought, right?" Oka-san said all these very fast while I was still trying to figure out what she was taking about. Then it suddenly hit me. Of course!' She must have thought I was moving to Kobe now as I was done with my studies. But surely the others didn't get me wrong? I looked around at everyone only to find out that they did indeed. I put down my chop sticks and cleared my throat.

"Err... Oka-san? I... joined the Neuro-Hope Hospital as a nurse..." I told her hesitantly and smiled uneasily. Everyone stopped eating and looked up at me. The looks on their faces clearly said that they think I have lost my mind. Damn!' I forgot they would expect me to apply at Kobe. I thought they will know as I was already working at a different hospital, there wasn't any chance I will apply for Tonan's branch at Kobe.

I sighed. "I already work at Hope. I can't get transferred to Tonan just like that. Besides, I'm working with a research team. I'm trying to help a Neuroshia patient. I want to try until the end before I move back to Tonan. I really hope I will, soon one day." I looked down at my food.

"It's all right, Kotoko." My father who was sitting beside me patted my head. "I'm sure you know what you are doing." I looked up at him sadly.

"Kotoko-chan, your patient will be fine soon. Don't worry." Oka-san said. I smiled at her.

"Naoki would also want you to continue your work Kotoko-chan." Otou-san smiled gently and I nodded at him.

"Kotoko not going to Kobe to trouble oni-chan is surprising." My smile dropped at Yuki-kun's remark. Oka-san gave him a scolding look while Konomi-chan added, "Kotoko-san is already sad enough for not going Yuki-kun. Don't tease her." I smiled at her.

"Well I'm glad I heard her right. I thought I was hearing things for a moment." Yuki-kun resumed eating. I gritted my teeth at him.

"I'll talk to my professor and provide you a hearing aid." I told him.

"Well I will certainly need one in the future as long as you and oka-san are around." Oka-san tried to hit him but he ducked out of her reach.

"We're not loud." I said loudly. Konomi-chan was silently shaking with laughter. But she burst out in laugh when I said that. I looked around at her and started laughing too. The others also joined. Even Yuki-kun smiled a little shaking his head.

I knew oka-san was feeling uneasy with my decision. But she must have decided to ignore it as she didn't say anything. I felt probably for the 1000th times that I was lucky to be a part of this family. They all have very warm hearts. Hiding the truth from them was like deceiving this wonderful family. I composed myself with difficulty and plastered a smile on my face and continued my dinner.

I was still upset a bit when we returned home. I took a long bath hoping that would help. I was yet to inform Irie-kun about my job. I'm not sure how he will feel about it. He might feel sad or might not bother at all. I don't even know how I want him to feel. I want him to miss me, but then again, I don't want to hurt him by not moving to Kobe. So I hope he will be fine and not be bothered at all. I took the phone in my hand to call him and found a missed call from him. He must have called while I was in the bath. I smiled happily and dialled his number. But I didn't have to wait as he received it before it rang twice.


	13. Chapter 13- A little Shock p2

**A/N** **:** Thank you everyone for being so Amazing. :)

* * *

 **A little Shock (part two)**

(Naoki POV)

The phone kept ringing but nobody answered. I sighed. Kotoko must be busy. But she just got home! I set down the phone on the table and went to kitchen to grab a bottle of cold water. Oka-san had called me just now to ask why I didn't tell her last time that Kotoko wasn't moving to Kobe. She will be continuing her work at Hope. I wasn't aware of that so I told her the truth that I didn't know. Oka-san was surprised by that but I bet she was not more surprised than I was. I drank the cold water hoping that would calm my senses but it didn't help. I was still breathing fast. To be entirely honest, I did have a hunch that Kotoko might want to continue at Hope. She was trying her best there which I could comprehend and she also wanted to help in the treatment of Neuroshia in any way she can. I understand her. I really understand why it was so important to her. She must really want to find the cure of the disease her mother had. Being a part of that research team must make her feel that she was doing something for her late mother and I understand that. I really do! But then why... why am I feeling miserable? I returned to my room and started pacing around it. I wanted to talk to her. I need to talk to her. I don't know for how long I was wondering around my own room until suddenly my phone rang and I rushed to pick it up. It has to be her.

"Hello?" I said, hoping it was Kotoko as I didn't even check the caller id before I answered.

"Hi Irie-kun. How are you doing?" The voice said, soothing my every sense straight away.

"Good." I lied as I felt the total opposite in that precise moment. But I wasn't going to tell her that. "Are you busy?" I asked her hesitantly.

There was silent on the other side. It was kind of weird to ask her that as this was the exact same question that she always asks me around. She must have felt equally weird hearing it since she wasn't speaking. I felt slightly guilty knowing how she always feels.

"No, I am not!" She replied after a moment. "I was in the bath when you called earlier." Surprise was evident in her voice.

"Oh..." I paused wondering what to ask next.

"What were you doing?" She asked me.

"Thinking." I replied truthfully.

"What?" She was amazed.

"Umm... Nothing." I didn't want to elaborate. I waited for her to talk. She was quiet for a moment, probably wondering what I was thinking and what she should say next.

"Irie-kun, I... have good news?" She hesitated, making the statement sounding like a question. Her confusion made me realize right then that she wasn't expecting me or my family to be surprised at her decision. Since she already works at Hope, it was only natural for her to join it officially. Applying at Tonan and resigning at Hope was quite ridiculous.

I don't know about the others, but I couldn't help being shocked for this because, I always believed she would choose me over anything and everything that exists on this planet. This might sound arrogant, but that was the power of _her_ love talking. Although, her staying at Tokyo did cross my mind when I found her being so engrossed with her work at Hope, but I still ignored it then. I really wanted her to come to me at Kobe. But since it was my decision to leave her at Tokyo and move to Kobe alone, doesn't matter if it was for her own benefit, it was now her turn to decide if she wanted to stay at Tokyo or move to Kobe. I will respect her every decision, well only those which makes sense to be precise. I composed my voice before I talked.

"What news?"

"I kind of got hired as a nurse in the Neuro-Hope Hospital." She paused.

"Kind of?" I almost laughed at that.

"No, I mean I _really_ got hired as a nurse in Hope. As you know, I was working as an assistant for Dr. Ayano until now. Since now I passed my exams, he offered me the position."

"That is wonderful Kotoko." I responded in a much more calmed voice than I thought I would.

"I was already working for him so he just made it official. I thought everyone would know..." Her voice drifted off and she fell silent.

I felt guilty hearing that. Of course I should have known. It was obvious she would work there. It's a fantastic opportunity for her. I was being too arrogant and blind not to see it.

"Don't worry Kotoko. Everyone will understand you. Your work is important and you should just concentrate on that."

"Thank you so much for understanding." Her voice relaxed making me guiltier if that was possible. She must have matured a lot over the past year. She was thinking more rationally than I was in this case. She was worried I wouldn't understand her.

"Baka." I told her, smiling on my own.

"Huh?" She said.

"I will miss you." I mumbled on the phone.

"Huh?" She repeated louder. She was definitely wondering if she heard that right. I chuckled. Expressing my feelings was always really tough for me. I preferred warm embraces and passionate kisses over words. But these options seemed far away now than I assumed.

"When will you join?" I asked her, putting a stop to whatever she was thinking.

"This week." She replied.

"Well, do your best." I encouraged her, ignoring the slight disappointment due to the fact that she won't be visiting Kobe.

"Yeees." She said happily. I smiled.

"Get some rest now." I said.

"Okay. Thank you Irie-kun. I Loooove you."

"I love you too... Kotoko." I replied softly and ended the call. I really wanted to tell her that. I really meant every word I just told her over the phone. I really missed her. I wasn't expecting her to say anything more. She always loses the ability to speak whenever I tell her that I loved her. She would have hugged me right now if we were together. We have been married for so long, but her reaction is exactly the same as it was the first time I confessed to her. I grinned. I knew I would be fine once I talked to her. She is like the light for me in my darkest time. Whenever I stumble due to indecision, she acts like the guiding light to me. She helps me find the path. She makes my life so easier just by being with me. I didn't believe miracles could happen. But now I do. Because it happened to me and she is the miracle of my life. The miracle that, I loved with my entire life.


	14. Chapter 14- Hope

**A/N:** Thank you, everyone for all the reviews and Moon Fairy 15 for the 100th review. :)

 **Kotoko's disease, diagnosis, causes, symptoms, treatment- everything is written out of imagination which does not have any logical explanation.**

* * *

 **Hope**

It's been 3 months since Kotoko joined Hope as a nurse. But it didn't even take 3 weeks for everyone at Hope to find out that she was just as clumsy and loud as a nurse like when she was as an assistant. However they weren't surprised. Her fellow colleagues and friends already knew her through and through. They loved her bubbly character and admired her capability of working so hard. She didn't have much works as an assistant. She only arranged Dr. Ayano's schedules and organised his research works. She did mess up a few things at the beginning but then she got better. She also studied at lot. The nurses Izumi Hana and Kiyoshi Mio who were the nurses in charge during her treatment became her closest friends. They accompanied her and helped her in study all the time. They also guided her and constantly monitored her. Not only because she was ill herself, but also as they knew she will cause ruckus from time to time. They completely believed that she had some kind of magnet attached to her which only attracts troubles. But she improved since the last month. The first 2 months were a total disaster. She was scolded by the head nurse all the time for the fundamental mistakes. The patients were terrified of her because she was really bad at collecting blood. Well she isn't perfect at that yet but was much better than the beginning.

...

It was just another normal morning. It is in past tense because- it isn't normal anymore. There had been a serious car accident and four teen boys were brought to emergency. Two of them had head injuries and were transferred to the neurology department. Kotoko and Hana rushed with Dr. Ayano, Dr. Shinju and two other neurosurgeons to assist in the operations. But Dr. Ayano held her back before she could enter the operation theater.

"Kotoko, you stay out of this operation. Send Mio instead of you."

"Why?" She was bewildered. Dr. Ayano never stopped her before. In fact he was the one who always encouraged her staying positive and working just like all the nurses do.

"No time to explain. Do it now." He ordered and went inside leaving her.

Although Kotoko felt bad but she did what she was told to do. Dr. Ayano must have had a reason. She went back into the nurse station and dropped on a chair.

...

(Kotoko POV)

 _What did I do wrong now?_ I tried to think harder wrinkling my eyebrows. But I couldn't remember any mistakes. _Ahh I don't know. Whatever._ I pouted, folding my arms. Lunch time was approaching so I decided to have my lunch. I couldn't wait for Mio or Hana as I have to take medicine after my lunch. I was nearly done eating when Hana and Mio joined me with lunch trays in their hands.

"Hi, dazed queen." Mio grinned at me. And yes, that's what he calls me. _Dazed queen!_ Because, apparently he finds it amusing that I have my own little world, where I seem to explore from time to time regardless of my surroundings. I glared at him in answer.

"What did you do now Kotoko?" Hana asked me sitting beside me while Mio sat across me.

"I don't know! I don't remember messing up anything." I pouted at my food.

"Did you take Nana-chan for the MRI on time?" Hana inquired.

"Yes, I did."

"What about Saki-san? Did you check on him?"

"Yes, and he is fine. I don't mess up with the patients anymore." I pouted at her again.

"Aww... Don't worry so much. Probably it wasn't serious enough since the head nurse didn't scold you yet." Mio said casually biting on his food.

"But if it wasn't serious then why would Dr. Ayano stop Kotoko from assisting him?" Hana asked him.

"But he wasn't angry when I went in the theater." Mio pointed out.

"Well of course he wasn't angry. He rarely gets angry at work." Hana said.

"Oh well, then she should be fine. Besides, being told off by Dr. Ayano would be better than the head nurse. She is a nightmare when she is angry." Mio shrugged.

They were talking about me being in trouble in such a way as if they were discussing about the weather. I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks a bunch guys. I'm glad to know how much you both trust me." I retorted.

"Oh we do trust you dear. We just don't trust the trouble that always seems to find you." Mio grinned widely again. Hana chocked on her food while I again glared at him.

"Shush." Hana told him swallowing her food. I sighed pushing away my food tray.

"Hey, finish all of it." Hana ordered me.

"I'm not hungry." I replied.

"That's not a good enough reason." Mio pushed back the tray at me.

I frowned but resumed eating as I knew I will have to finish it if I wanted to get back to work. Hana and Mio never let me skip lunch. After the lunch we retired at the nurse station. Dr. Ayano came looking for me after a while.

"Kotoko-san, you okay?" That was a common question that he always asked me. I stood up and nodded in affirmative at him.

"You must be wondering why I didn't let you assist me." I nodded again.

"Well, you see, your therapy is scheduled in 3 days. You will start feeling feverish and dizzy in no time. I didn't think it would be appropriate for you to attend an operation right now. I took that decision as your doctor, not as your colleague." He smiled.

I beamed at him. So that was the reason. I knew I didn't do anything wrong! I eyed Mio and Hana who were determined not to look at me.

"I understand Dr. Ayano. Thank you so much for that." I meant it.

"That's no problem. You start getting prepared for your therapy."

"Okay." I smiled. I turned at the duo who acted to be busy with some papers.

"So, who was it again that thought I was in trouble?" I folded my arms.

"It was her." Mio immediately pointed at Hana blaming her.

"Miiiiiiiiiiiiioo!" Hana protested. "What did I say? I had complete faith in Kotoko!"

"Well you were the one who said it was serious since Dr. Ayano stopped her while I..." he pointed his index at himself "was sure she didn't do anything wrong as the head nurse was quiet."

I rolled my eyes at them again. They sometimes act like a pair of teenagers. But they were very cute together. I completely adore them. They started going out 4 months ago. Needless to say, I acted as a cupid for their love to bloom. To be honest it was Mio who dragged me in the matter. I had the hunch that they liked each other and when I inquired them both separately, they confessed to me. They treat me like their best friend. Mio asked me to help him with the confession. I set up a date for them and Mio took Hana at Minato Mirai. Since then they are officially a couple. I sometimes feel like a bad person when I am with them. They treat me so warmly, yet I have hidden the most important parts of my life from them. They know I'm married and I have a family. Also that my husband lives out of town and his name is Irie. But that's all they know. I never elaborated anything about him to them. I agreed for the treatment with the condition that Irie-kun or my family will not get involved until I tell them. I reminded them the condition when they first tried to inquire me about him and since then, they didn't try again. I don't know what they assumed but I'm pretty sure whatever it is, it isn't nice and I don't ever want to know about it.

...

Three days passed and my therapy day arrived. I took admission around 9 am in the Hope for 2 days. I was given saline in the morning. Around 12 pm my therapy started. Well basically the therapy kills the Neuroshia cells that are present in my blood and once those cells die the white blood cells does its job which is to eat and digest all dead things such as dead cells and cell debris. That process of killing the cells is really painful and exhausting. The process of the therapy is more or less similar to the chemo-therapy given for the cancer. It usually takes 5 to 6 hours to finish the therapy. I slept until 12 am after finishing. Hana brought some porridge and medicine after I woke up. She always brought porridge for me when I stay in hospital.

I had to stay the next day too. The pain subsided by the afternoon and I returned home at 6:30 pm. I took a bath carefully. I was feeling feverish. I didn't have any appetite but still I stuffed some food in during dinner.

"Kotoko-chan, do you have fever?" Oka-san inquired.

"Yes, I'm a little feverish."

"You work too much dear. You should take care of your health and eat more. You got so much thinner!" Oka-san eyed me with concern.

"Don't worry oka-san. I'm fine really." I smiled at her.

"You always get the fever after you do the duty during the therapy. Are you sure the patient is safe for everyone?" Yuki-kun asked me. I choked on my food. No wonder he is just like his brother! _Perfect observation._

"Absolutely safe." _If it wasn't safe, I wouldn't sit here with you all._ I said that in my head. "I get the fever probably because I don't get enough time to sleep or eat properly. I feel so tired." I hoped that reason would satisfy him. It probably did as he didn't ask anything further.

"Kotoko-chan, you sure it's alright?" Oka-san seemed to get worried.

"Positive oka-san." I smiled at her again.

"It's fine." I added to my father seeing his creased forehead.

After dinner I went straight back to my room, ate my medicine and went to sleep. I have the next 2 days off. But to be precise, I could say that, I have the entire week off since Hana and Mio wouldn't let me do much work in the next few days. I will just rest in the nursing station while they will cover most of my works. Since the head nurse knew my condition, I was getting treated with this special care without any hindrance. Everyone in the neurology department was very friendly to me. I was very thankful to each and every one of them.


	15. Chapter 15- Restlessness

**A/N:** I'm not sure if Kotoko's treatment is making any sense at all. I hope it does. Thank you so much everyone.. :)

 **Kotoko's disease, diagnosis, causes, symptoms, treatment- everything is written out of imagination which does not have any logical explanation.**

* * *

 **Restlessness**

(Naoki POV)

I dropped the phone on the table. I just talked to Kotoko. She seemed worried for some reason. She said it was work. It was good to see her so much engrossed in her work but it still had some kind of bitter taste. Because she is so busy now a day with her work and studies that she rarely calls me. I kind of miss her pestering me all the time. My eyes fell on the _unused_ spare key of the apartment I collected for her. But she never came to Kobe after I got it. I sighed. Maybe that's because I'm less busy now. I'm done with my research and it was already published this week. A conference is going to be held next month in Kobe. All the renowned doctors from around the entire Japan will attend it. I informed Kotoko about the completion of my research. But what I didn't tell her is that I will be moving back to Tokyo soon. I finished my studies and got a degree on the pediatrics dropping few of my courses. Dropping out of those courses won't matter much except that I will have fewer credits. But who cares. I also decided to stop working at Kobe. It already has been a year since I last saw my wife. Since she doesn't have any intention to move to Kobe, and her work won't allow it either, then I should return home. Oka-san complained last month that Kotoko is over-working herself. She doesn't rest or eat properly and falls ill from time to time. I had no idea that she gets sick frequently. Probably she avoids calling or answering me during that time. I wanted to visit home right after I got the call from oka-san but then I delayed and decided to move back permanently. I can visit Kobe for 3-4 days next month for the conference. There is no need for me to stay anymore. ' _See you soon wifey._ ' A smile crept on my face.

...

(Kotoko POV)

I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. I kept panting for a while. It was a nightmare. Nightmares are nothing new to me anymore. It's been a while since I keep having bad dreams and keep waking up at nights. Those dreams are meaningless but they clearly reflect my thoughts and stress. Either my father is crying for me or my mother calling me. Oka-san, otou-san, Yuki-kun, Jinko, Satomi, Kin-chan- everyone visits me in the dream from time to time. Sometimes they accuse me for not sharing my condition with them and the other time they either cry or look sad. But I see Irie-kun almost every day. His sad expression or shocked face, either one is enough to agonize me even in my sleep. I went down into the kitchen to drink some water. My water bottle was empty and I again forgot to bring more water with me after dinner.

I leaned on the fridge and drank some water. My head was hurting so much. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep now so I went to the balcony for some fresh air. I was really worried about the treatment progress. Some new complexity aroused into the treatment. The medicines that were being used to destroy the Neuroshia cells started to have less effect on me. The last 2 therapy did not clear all the Neuroshia cells from my blood. That is dangerous because access presence of these cells in blood interrupts the blood supply in brain. Hence the brain gets deprived of oxygen and nutrients which ultimately can result the brain cell to die. Since the medicine used in the therapy weren't working properly so I needed more powerful medicines. But powerful medicines have too many side effects on me. I already fainted 4 times since last month. Twice I fainted at the Hope and once at home in my bedroom where I was unfortunately discovered by Yuki-kun. It was my day off and I studied the whole morning. He came in my room to call me down for lunch but he found me on the floor unconscious. Thankfully no one else was at home. He picked me and put me on the bed. It wasn't hard as I was much lighter than I used to be. Yuki-kun had sprinkled some water on my face. The touch of the cold water droplets helped me get my senses. I saw his worried face hovering over me in confusion.

"Yuki-kun, what happened?"

"Baka! You scared the hell out of me." He exhaled a deep breath.

"I fainted?" Dreading it that I did. I sat up leaning on the headrest.

"Yes you did. Why do you go biting off more than you can chew?" He was angry.

"I'm sorry? I what?" I was confused. He sighed.

"Why do you over work yourself? You should take rest."

"Oh..." I smiled. "Don't' worry, I am fine. Thank you Yuki-kun."

"I called oni-chan but he didn't receive."

"You did WHAT?" I was so shocked that I nearly shouted.

"Baka! Keep your voice down." He scolded again.

I swallowed. I was so glad maybe for the first time that Irie-kun never answers his calls on time.

"Yuki-kun, please don't tell him. Not only him, please don't tell anyone at home. They will worry too much." I pleaded him. He raised a brow.

"Well..." He started to say something but I cut him.

"Look, I am really fine. I read too much this morning and it made me dizzy." I grinned to assure him.

"Fine, if you say so." He believed it and decided to let it go. But what touched me was that he cooked lunch for me that day and told me to rest. He scolded when I tried to help. For the infinite times, _'I love this family'!_

The other time was in the street. I was taken into the Hope emergency since I wear my nursing ID whenever I go out. _'Please contact the Neuro-Hope Hospital for any emergency'_ was written on the backside of my ID. This is just a precaution to make sure that I was taken into the Hope and not in any other hospital. I also put Hana and Mio as my emergency contact so that in emergency other people will call them and not at home. Dr. Ayano said I needed to get admitted into the hospital for longer period of time during the therapy as my body will get weaker if I switch to powerful medicines. But I'm delaying the switch because I don't know how to explain that at home about my longer staying in the hospital. That will be really weird if I tell them I am going to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks straight on duty! _This is insane._ I don't know what to do anymore. I went back to my room hoping I will get some sleep.

...

(Naoki POV)

I did exactly like I decided. Within a week I managed everything and left Kobe to return to Tokyo. I didn't inform home before I left. I didn't need oka-san to make a big deal out of it. It was 6 o'clock in the evening when I reached home. Oka-san and Yuki were surprised to see me. Oka-san literally jumped up and down and hugged me. Otou-san's and Kotoko were at work. Oka-san called Kotoko several times but she did not answer.

"Why is Kotoko-chan not answering?"

"Stop calling her, she won't answer." I told oka-san as I suddenly remembered Kotoko will be busy today. Her patient had therapy yesterday and she is on duty for 2 days straight.

"Why?" Oka-san was surprised.

"She must be busy with her patient. She had therapy yesterday." I got up from the sofa to go upstairs.

"Oh yes. I forgot. Kotoko-chan is going to be sick again." She said sadly.

"Sick again? What do you mean?" I stopped at the base of the stairs.

"She always gets fever after the therapy of her research patient. I didn't notice the pattern until Yuki mentioned it the month before last. Kotoko-chan assured its nothing but yet she had fever last month."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I was surprised by the fact that none of them told me anything.

"I would have if she gets fever this month too."

I nodded my head thinking what was going on. I went to upstairs into our bedroom. The whole room was tied up except the table which had several messed stacks of papers, files and books on it. I went near it and kept my handbag on the chair and my luggage near the chair. Then I opened our closet to get my cloths. I needed a bath. I went down before dinner and met otou-sans. They were very happy knowing that I returned.

"Are you done with your research work?" My father asked me.

"Yes. It was published this month."

"So you won't be returning to Kobe, right?" Kotoko's father asked.

"Yes, I'm officially done with Kobe. But I will have to visit Kobe for 3 or 4 days next month. A conference will be held there for all the research works around the Japan."

"Wow that sounds something big." Yuki said.

"It is." I replied to him.

"It's good to know you are back son." Otou-san (Kotoko's father) said. I looked up at him. "Kotoko misses you so much. She must be working too hard just to keep her mind busy so that she won't miss you." He sighed.

I felt bad and looked down. I miss her too... a lot. But where is she? I glanced up at the clock. It was nearly dinner time. I sighed. Now the only person who was yet to know about my sudden arrival was my wife who I was eagerly waiting for.


	16. Chapter 16- Utterly Bewildered

**A/N:** I don't have enough words to express how thankful I am to each and everyone of you. I felt so happy reading all the reviews. It was really heart-warming. Thank you so much everyone. I tried to make this chapter longer for you all. Also it's time Naoki should taste his own medicine. Don't you think? Happy reading.. :)

* * *

 **Utterly Bewildered**

(Kotoko POV)

I was discharged much later than usual today. My treatment method and the medicines are being altered as the early ones are not working properly. Doctor Ayano didn't let me delay it any longer. The new medicines made me really weak. Everyone at the hospital wanted me to stay another night but I insisted that I was okay and returned home around the dinner time. Mio dropped me home. Oka-san must be worried as I normally return in the early evening of the day after the therapy day. I sighed. My cell rang when I was right outside the front door. It was oka-san. I smiled at the screen. She must have heard my ringtone as she quickly opened the door for me.

"Kotoko-chan, what happened? You're so late." She was worried.

"The patient isn't doing well." I told her the truth.

"What? How is she?" She held my hand and pulled me in with her.

"Fine... for now. But a little complexity appeared. I don't..." The words died in my voice as I saw the person in front of me. My heart jumped into my throat. "Irie-kun?"

There was no way he was here now! Not today. I will be having a high fever tonight. But why is he here? Is it a visit? Is he back? He never said anything on the phone. Wait! What am I thinking? It's Irie-kun! It's been a whole long year since I last saw him... his face... oh how badly I missed it.

A smile broke in my lips. I ran closer to him and came to a halt. Darn! I shouldn't have run. I felt dizzy for a moment but I shook it off. _Not now!_ I warned myself. I blinked a few times and took a quick deep breath looking down. Putting a smile on the face I looked up at him.

"Irie-kun, you are here." I desperately tried to sound surprised instead of shocked.

"Yes. I am home." He replied. His gaze was penetrating me.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out at first. I tried again and said, "Welcome home." with what I hoped to be a smile. I felt nervous under the x-ray look he was giving me.

"What happened Kotoko-chan? You were never this shy to hug him." Oka-san grinned widely. I gave her a wide stare nervously.

"Oka-san..." I could only say that. I couldn't hug him. Because if I do, he would know that I was shaking. He stepped closer.

"I smell of hospital. I will take a quick bath." I told them and without a backward glance I went upstairs. I closed the bedroom door and leaned on it. My legs were shaking. What am I going to do now? I promised myself that I will tell him when he comes back. But now when he really _is_ back, I feel scared. He will be devastated if he finds out. I thought he will stay at Kobe for another year. I hoped I will be fine by then. But it's me! How could I even think that things will work out in the right way? "Oh... Damn it!" I cursed loudly and stumped my foot on the floor. My eyes fell on the table and I froze for a second. _The files!_ I rushed towards the table. I took all the papers and files and put them inside a bag. They needed to be gone. I wasn't sure if any papers or files had my name proving I was a patient. Most probably, there isn't any as I always kept my reports in my locker at the Hope. But I didn't want to take any risk. I can't let Irie-kun see any report. He shouldn't find out in that way. I need to tell him before he finds out. But how on earth am I going to break the news to him? I felt miserable. I stood there thinking hard about what to do when suddenly the door behind me opened and gave me a fright. I nearly dropped the bag I was holding. I spanned around.

It was Irie-kun.

"Kotoko" He called my name while entering the room.

"Yes?" I answered, gripping the bag tightly with both hands.

"Are you okay?" He walked towards me.

"Me? Of course! I am more than okay actually." I smiled foolishly mentally kicking myself. _More than okay? What the hell was that? He surely can see through me._ He wrinkled his forehead and that's when I decided to drop out of the conversation.

"I was just cleaning up this mess." I pointed at my bag holding it out for him. I went to the closet and put the bag inside it. Then I took out some clothes to wear.

"I will go to the bath. You should go downstairs for the dinner." Before he could say anything, I took some quick steps and I was inside the bathroom.

...

(Naoki POV)

Oka-san was again calling her, but she was already at the main door. Oka-san rushed past me to open the door. I heard them talking about her patient but I couldn't wait any longer. She was here. I can finally see her. I walked towards the entrance and froze on my spot at the sight of her. What on earth has happened to her? She was so thin. Nearly half of what she was the last time I saw her. How can oka-san let her health deteriorate so much? She stopped talking when she saw me. "Irie-kun?" was the only word she uttered. But what astounded me more was the reaction she gave next. There were no happy shouts or laughter, no jumping around, not even the flying arms I was expecting to strangle me. Instead what I saw was my own shocked expression reflected on her face. We both stood rooted to our spots in silence. Then she seemed to get a grip on herself and a small smile crept on her lips. She ran closer to me and stopped suddenly. She blinked, shook her head and took a long breath. I observed her more closely. She looked up with a smile.

"Irie-kun, you are here." She stated.

"Yes. I am home." I inspected her carefully. She couldn't speak. She welcomed me nervously. I kept looking. She seemed to be shaking a little! Then oka-san came forward and stated the fact that I was wondering. But I wouldn't say _shy_ , she was literally scared.

"Oka-san..." She mumbled and looked at oka-san with widen eyes. I stepped closer to her.

"I smell of hospital. I will take a quick bath." She said and without waiting for a reply, she disappeared in the stairs.

 _I'm a doctor! I don't mind the smell of hospital._ I told mentally as I stood there feeling disappointed.

Probably oka-san read the disappointment in my expression. "Kotoko-chan must be really tired." She stated with confusion.

I didn't want her to interfere so I just shrugged and returned to the living room to resume watching the TV. But I only stared at the screen, not really seeing anything. It wasn't even 5 minutes before I decided I needed to hug her in order to be sure that she was okay. I went upstairs. She jumped in shock when I opened the door.

"Kotoko" I called her while entering the room.

"Yes?" She was nervous.

"Are you okay?" I walked towards her wondering why she was nervous.

"Me? Of course! I am more than okay actually." She smiled unconvincingly making me sure something was off.

I wrinkled my forehead in confusion thinking what was wrong. Then she told me what she was doing and I kept watching her as she put the bag inside and took out her clothes from the closet. She told me to go downstairs and before I could take a step towards her, she was already inside the bathroom. I kept staring at the door she closed. I felt ice sliding down my spine and I couldn't stand anymore. I moved towards the bed and sat on it. It was evident that Kotoko was avoiding me. I hated this feeling. Is she mad at me? But then why is she nervous or even scared! I sat there for a while listening to the sounds that were coming from the bathroom as she took her bath. Then I returned downstairs. Maybe oka-san was right. Maybe she _is_ too tired. Maybe I'm trying to read too much.

...

The dinner was awkward for me. Not only because I was the person who was mostly talking which was unlike me, but also as Kotoko remained muted during the entire time. I talked to everyone else about the past year experience but Kotoko only listened to our conversation. I knew she was taking in every word I said because of the facial expressions she was giving while listening to me. I wondered why she was unusually quiet. I looked around the table at everyone and found out that Yuki was also stealing glances at her. I was sure he was wondering the same thing. _So I was not over thinking._

 _..._

Kotoko came upstairs very late. Everyone else must have slept by now. I have no idea what she had been doing until now. But I kept waiting for her. I tried to read a book sitting on the bed. She paused outside the door before opening it. She opened the door slowly and peered inside. I looked up at her. She smiled uneasily and entered the room.

"You aren't sleeping? I thought I might disturb your sleep." She said as she went to get her pajamas. She dropped a book on the table.

"What were you doing?" I asked her.

"I was reading that." She pointed at the book.

 _Why weren't you reading it here in the room?_ I asked her in my mind. I didn't ask her out loud as I wanted to give her time to open up about anything that was bothering her. She took her pajamas and went inside the bathroom. I raised a brow. She usually didn't bother to use the bathroom to change if only I was in the room. When she came out I was still looking at the bathroom door. She didn't meet my eyes and went around the bed to her side.

"I will go to sleep then. I have work tomorrow morning. By the way, when will you be joining Tonan?" She asked me getting inside the blanket. Finally she initiated a conversation. But her voice was hoarse.

"The day after tomorrow. Are you okay? Your voice is hoarse."

"I'm slightly feverish." She replied.

"What?" I remembered what oka-san said earlier. She always gets fever this day. I moved closer to her and put my hand on her forehead and neck. She shook under my touch. Her body was burning with fever.

"Kotoko, your fever is too high." I removed the blanket to look at her properly.

"Don't worry. I will be fine." She mumbled and tried to pull back the blanket.

"You need medicine." I told her getting down from the bed.

"I already ate medicines. I will be fine when I wake up. You should sleep too."

I again went near her and checked her temperature. Then I took out a thermometer to check but she protested.

"Kotoko stop that and let me check it." I scolded her. She didn't say anything else. I put the thermometer on her mouth. She had 40 degree Celsius temperature. It was too high. I went downstairs to get some ice. I kept putting ice pack on her forehead and neck to reduce the fever. She had already taken the medicine so hopefully her fever will reduce soon. After nearly 2 hours her fever started to go down. Around nearly 3 am she woke up suddenly. She was panting. I kept my hand on her forehead to check her fever. She screamed and moved away pushing my hand off her.

"Kotoko, calm down. It's me Naoki." I tried to calm her down. She looked at me nervously and swallowed. Her breathing was still uneven.

"Did you see a bad dream?" I asked her. She only nodded but didn't elaborate.

I checked her temperature again. It was nearly gone.

"Drink this." I gave her a bottle of apple juice and helped her to sit. "You're sweating. Let me help you change your pajamas." I got down from the bed to get another set of pajama.

"What?" She sounded shocked. "No. No I don't need to change." I stopped on my track and looked around at her.

"Here I drank it all. I will be fine by the morning. You too get some sleep now. I'm sorry I didn't let you sleep. You must be tired." She kept the empty bottle on the bedside table and went under the blanket again.

"Good night Irie-kun."

"Good night." I replied but stared at her back for a while. She was facing the other side so I couldn't see her face. I joined her under the blanket and turned off the light beside me. I kept looking at her until I fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17- Unexpected Reactions

**A/N:** Hey guys.. I'm back with an update early! Kotoko had a really tough year and that made her stronger. Hope this chapter show that. I hope you all like it. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Unexpected Reactions**

(Kotoko POV)

I woke up very early in the morning. Everyone was asleep. I looked on my right. Irie-kun was sleeping in peace. I turned on my right side and kept my right arm under my head to look at him properly. A smile broke in my face. I controlled the urge to touch his face with difficulty. It was like a dream- watching him sleep from this close after ages. I watched him sleep for a long time. Then I got up to get ready for work. I decided to hide I mean attend work today and leave early before anyone wakes up. Irie-kun didn't sleep the whole night to take care of me. I felt happy but at the same time I felt bad as he couldn't sleep for me. I went downstairs in the kitchen for breakfast without making loud noises. One thing I have miraculously mastered during the past year is moving around making limited noise. I don't walk around making a ruckus everywhere I go now. That certainly is only when I remember to stay careful about it. I always had to make sure to stay out of everyone's sight when my body swelled due to pain or I vomited. I also had to make sure I made less noise so that nobody notices. I did got caught vomiting a few numbers of times over the year but I told them it was due to indigestion. Otou-san was really worried and urged me to see a doctor. I assured him I was fine and the doctor only told me to avoid consuming alcohol. I quietly finished eating breakfast and left to work.

...

Everyone at work was surprised to see me as I always took 2 days off after my therapy. I usually only visited in the afternoon for 3 to 4 hours for saline if I was too weak during these 2 days. Hana or Mio always dropped me home during those days. I told them I was there because of the high fever I had last night. Dr. Ayano immediately did some checkups and instructed Mio to put saline on me. Apparently I was too weak. Hana set up a bed and Mio went to get the saline. I sent a text to oka-san about coming to work as she was sleeping when I left. She knew I had off so she would be looking for me. She called me as soon as she saw the text.

"Kotoko-chan, why are you at work? You don't have work today."

"Oka-san, the schedules changed this month and I have work today. I will get the off later in some days."

"Oh... too bad. Naoki just arrived. I thought you both could hang around these two days. He didn't have work either." She said sadly.

"Oka-san, don't feel bad." I kicked myself mentally for lying so much. "We can hang around later anytime. Now that he is back, it doesn't matter, isn't it?" I tried to cheer her up.

"Hm." She didn't sound convinced.

"Oka-san, we will talk at home, okay?"

"Right, okay. Get back to your work honey. Bye." She hung up.

I sighed. What am I going to tell Irie-kun? He will also be looking for me as soon as he wakes up.

...

He called me around 10:30 am. He slept till so late. He must have been really tired. I took a deep breath before answering.

"Hello?"

"Kotoko, where are you?" He was still sleepy. But as usual his voice sounded so intoxicating. I always drooled over his sleepy voice. I smiled before replying.

"At work."

"Work? Don't you have the day off today?" He was confused.

"No, our working schedules changed this month. I won't have any off days for now. I will be getting those later." I lied smoothly feeling guilty. I hoped he will buy it.

"I'm coming to get you." He said calmly after a moment of silence.

 _What? No! Damn it! He didn't buy it._

"What? No, why would you?" I tried to sound composed.

"Even if you don't have off, you should get it. You had 40 degree temperature last night and you are certainly not well enough to take care of other people."

"I'm perfectly fine now Irie-kun." I tried to sound convincing.

"It doesn't matter. I'm still coming."

 _Nope. Not convincing enough._ He was adamant. So I panicked and did what even astounded me. I shouted.

"NO! Don't. Stay away from Hope. I'm working here, please! Do NOT interfere. And don't treat me like I don't know what is good for me or my patients. I have been ill before and I know how to take care of myself. Even if I'm not okay, I'm at a hospital and there are a lot of nurses and doctors around me to take care of me. You don't have to get yourself so bothered." I took a long breath after saying all these really fast and loud.

 _Silence... Silence... Silence..._

The other side of the phone remained dead silent. _Damn!_ I think I said too much. Did I just tell him off because he cared for me? I'm doomed. This is sooooo wrong. How can I shout at him for being kind to me? I cleared my voice but didn't know what to say. He was still silent and I wondered what was going on in his mind. Well, I needed to stop him from coming to Hope, but certainly not in the way I just did. I didn't know if it worked or not. I needed to check.

"Look, I'm fine, seriously. Don't worry about me. We'll talk at home, okay?" I sounded more relaxed than I thought I would.

"Right." He answered in one word.

"I gotta go now. See you at night. Bye." I disconnected the call. I turned my head over onto the pillow and banged it there for a few number of times only to worsen my headache. _This is insane! What did I just do?_

...

(Naoki POV)

I was rooted into the spot. My heart was beating faster and I held my breath the entire time for which she shouted. _She shouted? Why?_ I tried to think clearly but my mind just wouldn't clear up. What the hell just happened? I dropped on the edge of the bed. Well, it wasn't exactly the first time she shouted. We had a big fight in the past due to my jealousy regarding Kamogari which led Kotoko to leave the house. She only returned promising that she will never leave me again, after I confessed to her in the college cafeteria with full of people. People with eyes and ears and mouth. People, who stared and giggled and gossiped. I had confessed in front of them all. But that fight occurred because I was being a jerk to her, not because I was concerned. So, this one is a first. I played her words in my mind again and again but nothing made any sense. When she said she had been ill before and she knew how to take care of herself made me feel ashamed. I remembered oka-san said she fell ill frequently over the past few months. All these times when she was ill and I wasn't there with her made me want to bang my head on the wall.

 _Night. I will have to wait till night!_

It was probably the longest day of my life. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I avoided home because I didn't want anyone to notice it. I paid a visit at Tonan to confirm my transfer. I will join the hospital tomorrow. I cancelled any further delay as Kotoko didn't have the break anymore. There was no point wasting my off days alone. I can take off when she has hers. Then I wondered around the street, not really meeting any people. I needed to think. Finally the night approached. It was 8 pm, then 9 pm and then 10 pm. Still- no sign off Kotoko. At last, when I was starting to get worried, nearly at 10:30 pm, she returned home. We didn't talk in the downstairs. She gave her reasons for being late. Apparently it was crazy at the hospital due to some emergencies. She will be late the next few days. I only listened, not knowing what to say. I went upstairs late, after everyone retired to their beds. Kotoko was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, wearing her pajamas. She looked up at me when I closed the door behind me. I walked closer and stood awkwardly near the bed. She smiled uneasily. Then she suddenly got up and walked the remaining distance between us. She hugged me. It was warm. She was so warm. The tension started to wear off from my body. I hugged her back and she shook a little. I missed this feeling. I missed hugging her, being in her warm embrace. The best hug in the whole universe. I held her tightly against me. I could stand there like that for the entire night.

"I'm sorry Irie-kun." She said not breaking the hug. "I was so frustrated about something when you called that I just shouted at you without meaning to."

"What was wrong?" I asked her, still holding her.

"Its... just the work. Something at work. Never mind that." She pulled away. I felt slightly irritated, not sure if it was because of what she said or because she broke the hug. "I just wanted to tell you to trust me with my work." She continued. "I know what I'm doing and I'm trying my best. So let me be okay?" She said meeting my eyes. I stared back at her and then pulled her into a hug again.

"I trust you with my life." I told her and then I pulled away from the hug only to kiss her softly. She didn't respond at first. It felt like as if she was confused. But I didn't want her to pull back so I deepened the kiss and then she kissed me back. Blood rushed through my whole body jamming my brain. I gripped her around firmly, kissed her harder and licked her lips seeking entrance. She shivered but then suddenly pulled away. I was surprised. I already missed the warmth on my lips. I fisted my fingers and tried to control my emotions. She must be having a hard time. She avoided looking into my eyes. Maybe she is awkward due to the long gap? But... that doesn't sound right. Then why? Am I the only one who was craving for the hugs and kisses? I couldn't help feeling slightly hurt. But nonetheless, I decided to wait.

"You should sleep. It was a long day for you." I told her.

"Yes, you too. Good night." She moved towards the bed.

"Good night."

When I joined her in the bed after changing, she seemed already asleep. I sighed.


	18. Chapter 18- An Attempt

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone.. Actually I wrote the previous two chapters at a go. I just took a day to edit the last one. :)

 **Kotoko's disease, diagnosis, causes, symptoms, treatment- everything is written out of imagination which does not have any logical explanation.**

* * *

 **An Attempt**

(Naoki POV)

One week passed. Kotoko remained super busy during the entire week. I also got busy after joining Tonan. The doctor profession is always demanding. There is almost no free time to socialize. Kotoko and I only met each other during breakfast or sometimes at dinner. Once or twice she even left before I came down for breakfast.

I couldn't help getting the feeling that she was avoiding me on purpose. Well, it wasn't just because of the breakfast, but also because she started to do her studies downstairs in otou-san's library again. She sometimes did that before if she was angry at me or we weren't talking to each other. But it was never without a reason. She loved having my presence around her all the time. But that doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

According to her, she moved there because she required larger space for her studies as she messes up all her papers. Also she works till late hence she didn't want to disturb my sleep. That was true. She studied like crazy the entire week. Even in the first weekend after I returned she stayed busy with studies. When oka-san inquired why we weren't going out she said she had to study. She even did the evening duties.

I was wondering if she was even getting enough sleep. She goes to hospital very early at the morning and returns late. After dinner she studies and then when she sleeps, she keeps waking up due to bad dreams. It looks like she gets lots of them. Sometimes I also wake up with her. Either because she calls my name or oka-san, which I assumed to be her mother, as she never elaborated any of her dreams to me or when she trips over something into the dark room trying to go out in the kitchen downstairs.

Kotoko used to dream when she slept all the time. But those were always happy dreams. She smiled, giggled, talked, scolded, even hugged and kissed me in her sleeps while dreaming. But this is the first time I'm seeing her getting scared and even in tears. Sometimes she would cry out, frightened. I tried to pull her into hugs whenever she was having a nightmare to soothe her but she always awakes and pulls away. I asked her a million times what they were about but she avoids my questions and only says they are nothing important and they weren't scary and she was fine.

She never hid her fears from me. But _again_ , that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Something is giving her a hard time but she doesn't want to open up to me. I wonder what could have gone so wrong. She seems so distant. It's like she is fading away from me. That feeling is terrifying. I didn't want to experience that ever. Kotoko blocking me out of her life is the scariest feelings I ever had.

...

(Kotoko POV)

I didn't go to work today. I just asked Hana to take the permission instead of me to stay off duty for the day. I didn't want things to get worse with Irie-kun. I didn't want him to suspect anything yet, _especially_ not after yesterday night.

It's already a week and a half since Irie-kun returned. I know I should have already told him everything by now but I just couldn't bring it up. Instead I kept avoiding him in every way. I know he wasn't dumb enough not to notice. I know he was hurt and anxious due to this. I know he was getting more and more worried. But I just didn't know how to break the news to him out of the blue. The closest I got to talk about this matter was yesterday night. I went upstairs instead of going to study after dinner like I did the previous week and half. I was fully prepared to tell him everything until I entered the room and he looked up at me with surprise. But he composed himself pretty fast.

"Hi..." I said awkwardly.

 _Hi? Why couldn't I start the conversation more naturally?_ I paused mentally slapping myself.

"What's up?" He looked back at me as I sat on the bed behind the desk-chair he was sitting.

"Nothing." I shrugged. "You seem busy." I stated, eyeing the stack of papers on the table.

"No, I'm not." He answered immediately which took me off guard. He got up and joined me on the bed. I just stared at him for half a minute and grinned as he raised a brow.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing." I said for the second time and laughed at that. He kept looking. I finally cleared my voice and started talking again.

"Irie-kun, how much do you know about Neuroshia?" I can tell by the look on his face that he didn't see that coming.

"Err... Not much." He admitted. "I only goggled about it after you decided to join Hope and read a few articles." I was surprised at that piece of information but he continued.

"It triggers due to pregnancy complexity and is a very uncommon disease. Only 1 in a million people have the probability to suffer from this. Also as you mentioned that it has been cured in USA recently but in Japan, it is still in experimental phase. It is not contagious and if the treatment is successful, the disease does not return like tumour does sometimes." He stopped and I practically gaped at him.

"And _that_ sure is _not much_!" I rolled my eyes. He waited with patience quietly for me to continue.

"Well, it doesn't only happen to a pregnant woman. Since my patient is not pregnant... yet." I told him without meeting his eyes. I was sweating and my heart started to beat faster.

"What?" He was surprised genuinely at this piece of information.

"Yap and the probability for being this case is 1 in 15 to 20 million... in Japan."

"I... didn't know." He said slowly.

"You know, it really feels good to know something that you don't." I giggled. He narrowed his eyes at me and nearly smiled. I grinned again and that's when things started to go wrong. I suddenly felt my head spin. I grabbed on the bed sheet instantly and looked down trying to focus my gaze.

"Kotoko?" He called me watching me carefully. I didn't dare to answer immediately. When I felt better I started talking again still looking down.

"The patient isn't doing well Irie-kun." I decided to cut down the details on Neuroshia and stick to my condition since he can find out even better on his own. "Maybe you don't know, but it has 3 stages. The 1st stage is danger-free and supposed to be cured easily now a day in Japan. The 3rd stage is out of reach even now which means the dying rate is higher. So that makes the 2nd stage important because if the patient crosses the stage then..." I trailed off. He was quiet. I continued.

"The patient started in stage one but she isn't cured yet and if her next therapy fails then she will enter the 2nd stage of Neuroshia. Well, seriously I don't know why I am explaining all this but what I am actually trying to tell you is..." I glanced up at him and looked away immediately seeing his intense stare. "I'm trying to say is... actually..." I stopped as I started to get dizzy and my body started to pain. I stood up immediately. I didn't want him to see me in pain. I needed to go. "You have a conference at Kobe right?" I suddenly remembered. He seemed flabbergasted by the sudden change of the subject.

"Yes. I will be gone for 3 to 4 days next week." He replied looking up at me.

"Right. Next week!" _How can I forget that?_ I nearly ruined his going to the conference. "Okay. You should prepare for your presentation. Umm... Good luck." I moved towards the door.

"Kotoko" He stopped me. I looked back.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?" He asked surprising me. I nodded.

"Why would you say that?" I asked back.

"Just to let you know... that I'm here for you and I will always be."

I blinked my eyes a few times wondering what was going on in his mind. I couldn't look into his eyes anymore. I was feeling terrible because I was going to hurt him real bad. The truth will probably kill him inside. I turned around as tears dropped from my eyes. The pain in my body didn't matter anymore. Within seconds I felt him embracing me from behind. He bent down his head on my right shoulder and held me tightly in his arms. We stood in silence. He pulled away after a while. I didn't had the courage to meet his eyes so I didn't look back and started to move towards the door but before I could reach, my head spin again and I lost conscious.

...

When I woke up I found myself lying on our bed and Irie-kun sitting beside me holding up my hand. At first I was confused but within a few seconds I realized what might have just happened and I felt horrified.

"Kotoko, are you okay? How do you feel?" Irie-kun asked me with concern.

"I'm absolutely fine." I tried to sit up causing my head spin for the nth times. Irie-kun pushed me down on the bed.

"Lie down." He ordered. "Just what do you think you are doing?"

"I'm okay."

"Stop saying that." He was pissed. "You can barely sit. Your pulse is weak. Your blood pressure is low. In which universe you think you are okay?" He snapped.

I just swallowed not knowing how to answer.

"Take a few days off at your hospital and rest up at home. Do you understand?" He said in a composed voice after a moment.

I was silent. I certainly can't do that if I want to continue my treatment.

"Kotoko?" He was expecting an answer. I sighed.

"I'll be fine after I rest Irie-kun. I'll sleep now. I'm sorry for worrying you. You should go back to your work."

"I'll help you change into your pyjamas." He said.

"No. I don't need to change. They are comfortable enough. I'll just sleep in them for tonight. Don't worry." I protested quickly and turned in the opposite side of him. That's the second time I rejected his offer in helping me change. He sure felt weird. I cursed mentally.

"Kotoko..." He started to say something but I intervened.

"Good night Irie-kun."

"Good night." He replied softly after a while and I heard him sigh.

I couldn't let him help me because I didn't want him to see the scar that I have right under my breasts due to the fracture on my ribs. The scar was supposed to fade away with time. But it was still there and it would be difficult to explain why I have that without telling him the whole truth. _Damn my luck._ I sighed.

...

(General POV)

Naoki returned to Tokyo missing his wife to the point of being frustrated. He was sure Kotoko was feeling the same. But he was shocked to see her state. Like everyone else in their family, he at first believed she was working too hard just to keep herself busy. But as he observed her over the two weeks, it looked like she kept busy herself to avoid him! But he kept waiting for her to open up to him because she is Kotoko and she _always_ tells him what she thinks and what bothers her. He did not want to rush her. Her being upset with him could have thousands of reasons like his going to Kobe, staying there for so long, not visiting home- anything. Even she could be having problems at work. Now after their conversations about _her patient_ he started to think she was distressed about her patient. It was normal for Kotoko. She cares and keeps getting worried for anyone and everyone.

On the other hand, as much as Kotoko wants to tell him everything, she is just really afraid of hurting him. She keeps looking for excuses to delay informing him. Every night she makes a promise to herself that she will tell him everything tomorrow. Then the tomorrow becomes the next day, and it goes on.

* * *

 **A/N:** I hope you are not getting bored because I'm dragging. But a few events must take place before Naoki finds out. He cant just find it out of the blue or even guess about Kotoko being seriously ill, because he had no clue. On the other hand, Kotoko have enough courage to withstand Neuroshia alone but she isn't courageous enough to hurt Naoki with the truth. :(

Besides, the whole point of writing this story was to teach Naoki a lesson and now is the time so I really can't rush it. I hope you understand. It's too slow I understand and I'm sorry for that. I wrote a plot before I started writing and I'm following that. I will try to update more frequently but a few more chapters are in order before Naoki gets to know anything.


	19. Chapter 19- Cupid

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone. Here is the next chapter.. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Cupid**

(Naoki POV)

Kotoko took a day off. I was glad she listened. I was so scared when she fainted yesterday. But I still had work so I had to go anyway. I returned sooner than I usually do changing my shifts with Funatsu. She was helping oka-san in preparing dinner. At the dinner oka-san asked us all about our weekend plans. Oka-san must have noticed Kotoko being distant. She wasn't hard to read after all. I knew instantly that oka-san was scheming something. I for once was glad and decided to play along.

"I don't have any work." I lied ignoring all my pending tasks regarding the upcoming presentation. Oka-san grinned at me giving me a knowing look. I remained nonchalant but rolled my eyes inside my head.

"Konomi will be coming over to prepare for her upcoming exams." Yuki replied chewing his food.

"Konomi-chan will be joining us so you can skip the exam part Yuki." Oka-san told him.

Yuki scowled at her. "It was not an excuse." He mumbled.

"Oka-san what are you planning?" Kotoko asked her with concern. I looked up at her.

"Family vacation of course! We should go for a 1 night 2 days trip." Oka-san grinned broadly clapping her hands.

For the first time in my life I saw Kotoko being unenthusiastic about oka-san's plans. She was always the first one to get over excited about them. In fact, she looked slightly alarmed. I was so shocked to see the total opposite reaction that, I stopped eating and stared at her.

"Umm oka-san, I'm sorry but I have evening duties." Kotoko muttered looking down.

"Can't you exchange your shifts Kotoko-chan? It's been so long since we went out together." Oka-san's face fell. I was still staring at Kotoko. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Yuki also gawking at her. She looked up and her eyes met mine. But she quickly looked away.

"I'm sorry oka-san. I can't help it."

"Oh, well..." Oka-san didn't know what to say probably. I'm sure she was flabbergasted. I suddenly lost my appetite to eat. I dropped my chopsticks and told everyone that I was done and left the table. I felt everyone's gaze on my back as I left the room. Right before I go out of the room, my eyes fell on oka-san for a moment and that was enough to see her lips slightly curved into a smile which clearly meant she wasn't done with her scheming yet.

I went to our room. I don't know why I was so annoyed. _This has nothing to do with what just happened at the dinner table_ \- I kept telling myself. _I'm just annoyed because... because... damn... because Kotoko just spoiled the first vacation I was actually looking forward to._ I banged my hand on the table. I felt so frustrated.

Why can't she change her shifts for one damn week? I paced around the room. What has happened to her that her work is always more important than me! I suddenly stopped. What was I thinking? Isn't this what I did all the time? Isn't this what I still do? I always chose my work over spending time with her. I was never enthusiastic about going on a vacation or celebrating any occasion with her.

Well to be precise, this is how I'm as I don't like gatherings. I wasn't enthusiastic about any of these even before I met her. I only participated in everything she was excited about only because- _she was excited._ But I never showed any interest. I never planned anything or helped her in planning. It was always her. I mostly didn't plan anything because she had fun doing it and I didn't want to spoil it for her. Besides it was fun to watch her make weird plans. But at least I could have shown some interest.

I remembered about a summer vacation plan she made right after she transferred to nursing. She had suggested a few places but told me to choose anything I wanted as anywhere was fine with her. Although I told her it depended on my research, she had deciphered it well as I agreed. But when the plan got cancelled due to her studies, she kept apologizing. To make her stop I told her that she planned it on her own and that I never said I will go so it was fine. I still remember how her face fell at that. I didn't look up on her face but I knew for some reason she felt bad. And now I know the exact reason. Because right now- I feel the same. I missed a heartbeat.

 _I feel hurt. Damn!_

...

(General POV)

Naoki found out on Sunday that the suspicion about his mother planning something turned out to be true. She announced at the breakfast table that since Kotoko has evening shift, they could all hang out until afternoon and can have lunch out together. _Well something is better than nothing!_ Naoki thought.

So as decided, they all got ready within an hour to leave the house. Kotoko made sure she packed her medicines which she takes after lunch in her bag. She knew there was no way out and she wasn't even considering any excuses. She truly missed spending time with her family. Hence when she got inside the 7-seater Ford S-MAX car, she found herself shortly after joined by Naoki in her next seat. Mrs. Irie grinned inwardly on seeing Naoki volunteering to follow Kotoko on his own without her meddling in. Kotoko was quite tensed as she will be spending the whole day with her family. What if something went wrong and they find out. She plastered a smile on her face and kept mute on the whole way.

But as soon as they entered a zoo, she decided that whatever may happen, she is going to enjoy her time until then. They all walked around the entire zoo and went near each and every species and animal cages. Kotoko and Konomi didn't know about almost more than half of the animals that were kept in there. Naoki and Yuki filled them with information in turns about those.

"Did you two by any chance, know we will be coming here?" Kotoko asked the two brothers after they finished describing about a rare animal which was only found in Japan.

"No." Yuki said out load while Naoki only shook his head.

"Sometimes I really wonder if you both have installed some kind of memory chips filled with information inside your heads." Kotoko stated in amazement.

"You just said what was in my mind Kotoko-san." Konomi blurted out. Naoki and Yuki only rolled their eyes.

"We just happen to notice everything in our surroundings more accurately." Yuki said lazily. It was Kotoko and Konomi's turn to roll their eyes. What they didn't know was that both Naoki and Yuki were reading out the descriptions that were written on the board near the cages. They did know about most of the animals, yes, but not _all_ of them. But none of them bothered to point that out to Kotoko or Konomi.

Suddenly there was some high pitched screeching noise on their left. All four of them turned towards it.

"What was that noise?" Kotoko asked.

"You don't know?" Yuki widen his eyes in fake astonishment. "That was your kind of species calling out to you." Konomi lightly slapped on his shoulder while Naoki remained nonchalant.

Kotoko was confused for a moment and craned her neck on the left to take a better look. Then she saw the cage and the animals which were making a loud fuss inside. _Monkeys!_ She gritted her teeth and turned back at Yuki.

"Well, would you like me to decipher what my buddies said to you?" She asked heatedly while Yuki raised a brow. "They want you to stop pretending being such a know-it all because you don't even know the basic things."

"And what are those may I ask?" Yuki sounded amused.

"For starters- _how to kiss a girl._ " Kotoko smirked folding her hands. Yuki scowled.

"Holding hands should be the..." Konomi stopped seeing fire in Yuki's eyes.

"What? Is he that behind?" Kotoko said loudly making an O face.

"I... I didn't m...mean to say that." Konomi stammered. Yuki gritted his teeth and walked away.

"I am so dead." Konomi pouted and followed behind him with hurry.

Naoki couldn't hold himself anymore and let out a soft chuckle. Kotoko turned at him.

"Well you weren't any better at his age." She told him.

"I wouldn't have if you weren't so late to come in my life." Naoki smirked.

"I bet you would have." Kotoko grabbed his arms smiling and started walking. But then she stopped and wanted to pull away her hand but Naoki grabbed it with his other hand and kept it still on his arm. Kotoko looked up at him and smiled.

They walked around for some more time and then joined Mr. And Mrs. Irie and Mr. Aihara near the entrance. After a short while Yuki and Konomi also joined them. They both seemed to have reconciled already. It was lunch time. They went out of the zoo to go to a nearby restaurant for their lunch. Kotoko and Konomi chattered while the others ordered the food.

The foods were served after a while and they began eating. Kotoko didn't recognize one or two dishes so out of curiosity she tried one of those. She took one small bite and the food tasted good. So she decided to eat more. But after the third bite she suddenly felt tight against her throat and chest. Out of blue her breathing began to choke and then it hit her. The food must have contained alcohol. Her hand went up to her throat and she began to cough. She jumped to her feet in order to run to the bathroom but her head spin and she nearly fell. Naoki grabbed her by the waist and held her in his arms.

"Kotoko, what happened?" Her father came beside her.

"She can't breathe." Naoki said in panic while helping her to sit on the floor.

"What?" Mrs. Irie rushed near them.

Kotoko was fiddling with her bag and with difficulty she pulled out her inhaler but it slipped and dropped to the floor. Her father picked it up and gave it to Naoki. Naoki was bewildered by the sight of the inhaler but decided to question about it later and helped Kotoko with the inhaler to breathe. Kotoko took some deep breath and after a while her breathing became normal. But she started to feel cramps inside her stomach and felt the urge to vomit.

"I need to get to the washroom." She said.

Naoki helped her to stand on her feet. He took her towards the bathroom and Mrs. Irie followed. People who were surrounding them moved away to clear their path. Mrs. Irie went inside the bathroom with Kotoko who vomited in one of the lavatory. After she was done throwing up, Mrs. Irie helped her to clean up. She took out the medicines and a small water bottle from her bag. Dr. Ayano strictly told her to carry around her inhaler and the medicines for her allergic reactions with her all the time. She also ate her regular medicines in that chance. Mrs. Irie and Kotoko came out of the washroom after a while. Naoki was waiting near the door.

"Are you feeling better?" Naoki asked anxiously.

Kotoko just nodded. She didn't have enough energy to talk. They walked back towards their table. In the mean time Mr. Irie had paid for the food so when the three reached the table, they immediately left the restaurant to return home.

Naoki's mind was overflowing with questions but he refrained from asking any at that moment. Kotoko needed rest. He helped Kotoko to get into the bed and sat near her until she fell asleep. Then he went downstairs where everyone was sitting.


	20. Chapter 20- The First Blow

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone for being so patient. Well, Naoki didn't see her medicines since she took them inside the washroom and seeing the inhaler he still kept his head cool because he is a doctor and had to give her the first aid. He didn't bother to check the bag because he will ask her about it eventually. Hope you will like this chapter.. Enjoy! :)

* * *

 **The First Blow**

(Naoki POV)

"How is Kotoko-chan?" Oka-san asked.

"She is asleep now." I answered.

"What happened to her suddenly?" Kotoko's father asked no one in particular.

"I think she ate the food that was made with mixing a little alcohol." Yuki said.

"Oh no... I ordered that. I should have been careful." My father said shaking his head.

I was clearly missing something as their conversation sounded puzzling to me. I took a deep breath and finally ask the question that was eating me inside.

"Why does she have an inhaler?" I looked around at them all just to see their outraged faces staring back at me.

I knew it instantly that everyone else knew about it since I was the only one petrified at the sight of the inhaler in the restaurant. But I couldn't panic or look for answers immediately as I had to keep my head cool to give her the first aid. But inside I felt as if my heart froze.

"Pardon me, what?" My mother sounded shocked.

"Why does she have an inhaler?" I repeated my question again. My heart was beating faster than it should.

 _Why is everyone acting like I have questioned why the sun rises!_

"As a precaution? Her doctor must have told her to carry it around all the time." Yuki replied. He was looking at me with confusion, as if wondering if I have lost my mind.

"Excuse me? Her doctor? What?" I was dumbfounded. Everyone was silent for a while.

"You... you mean... you don't know that she sometimes gets breathing difficulty?" Yuki asked slowly.

"Breathing... breathing difficulty?" I was so shocked that I felt short of breathe myself.

Yuki gaped at me. He didn't talk for a while.

"What do you mean Naoki? Didn't Kotoko tell you that she had developed allergy to alcohol?" My father asked.

I was simply stunned by the piece of information. I didn't even know what to reply to that. I just gaped at them. They got the answer they needed from my reaction.

"It's been a while Naoki. I thought she must have told you." Kotoko's father said. I remained silent.

"She can't intake alcohol anymore. She gets difficulty in breathing and also body swelling." Yuki said. "The first time when we found out about this, it was a mess. She just drank a little alcohol and had severe breathing problem and swelling. I took her to the emergency of the hospital she works. But she was fine within 30 minutes probably. They gave her oxygen and some medicines. After that she never touched alcohol... well until today I guess."

"I... Why... no one ever mentioned..." I mumbled.

"We thought Kotoko told you Naoki." Oka-san said who sounded angry.

"She... didn't." I said in a small voice.

"Well, we can see _that_! No wonder she didn't." Oka-san snapped. I looked up at her feeling lost.

"You have been to Kobe for nearly a year and a half Naoki. Why couldn't you just ever visit once for goodness' sake? Career isn't everything. It's your duty to check up on your family too. She must have been really upset that you didn't care and that must be why she didn't tell you." Oka-san's voice cracked near the end.

 _But I care! I care! I care!_

My inside was screaming. But I didn't say anything. I was too ashamed to say anything at all. Oka-san was right. I could have visited if I wanted. I could have taken at least one day off for my family. But I was too busy with work. I just thought if I don't take one day off, that would mean it is one day early, I will return home finishing all my works permanently. But that sounds like a joke now. I just sat there staring at the floor, feeling lost.

"Naoki-kun, you should go upstairs. Kotoko might wake up." Her father said. I nodded and obliged.

...

Kotoko was still asleep when I entered the bedroom. I sat near her bed. She looked peaceful in her sleep. I watched her sleeping face and started to think deeply. Everything that happened after I moved back started to appear before my eyes. Everything that was unexpected.

I had the feelings that Kotoko was hiding things from me since the day I arrived. She had been constantly avoiding me in every way she can. But I had no idea that it had started ages ago. It's true that her calls were getting fewer in numbers day by day. Her conversations were getting shorter with each passing day. She almost stopped talking about anything that was not important. Come to think of it, I don't even remember when was the last time we had a conversation that was funny or completely meaningless. But I always reasoned that by thinking she must be working hard or she was busy. Although I really missed all her funny reactions in the weirdest topics she could come up with.

But how can she not tell me about her alcoholic allergy. That is something serious. Everyone else knew about it but I didn't. _Why?_ I felt a sharp prickle at my heart. I exhaled a long breathe.

I let my eyes gaze down her whole body. She looks so fragile and weak. She and I spent a very little time together during the past two weeks. But that little time was more than enough to observe her.

She gets the headache frequently. Sometimes during dinner or breakfast, her every movement screams being uncomfortable due to severe headache. She gets feverish in the nights from time to time. She was always a foodie, but her appetite has lost greatly somehow. But she drinks a lot of water which was probably the only improvement. She was dizzy a couple of times and even fainted once. And those nightmares! She gets terrified due to those and doesn't even get enough sleep.

She needs to get a check up for her health issues. I was already getting worried for her due to her lack of concern regarding her health. Today was the limit and now they can't be overlooked anymore. She always insisted that she was tired and will be fine after taking enough rest or that she took medicines. Whatever the reason is, fatigue or migraine- which according to her she doesn't have, it's high time that she gets properly checked up.

Kotoko stirred and opened her eyes slowly. She looked around until she met my eyes.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked her with concern. She looked confused for a second and then her face turned paler. She nodded. We both remained silent for a while and then I broke it.

"I see you have failed to mention about your allergic problem to me." My verbal voice was calmer than the inside voice.

She sat up on the bed, leaning on the headrest. "I..." She paused. "I didn't want to..."

"Stop saying you didn't want to worry me." I snapped cutting her off. I may have sounded angry but my inside was crushing actually. I was sick of hearing it. I tried to compose myself but I couldn't find what to say. I was feeling the loss of words. She cleared her throat.

"Irie-kun, it seriously isn't a big deal..." I turned my face at her with a frown and she stopped talking immediately looking at my face.

"I'm really sorry Irie-kun. I didn't want to hurt you." She mumbled.

I didn't reply anything. Actually I didn't even know what to say. I know that she really didn't mean to hurt me but I feel so hurt right now. Like she said, she might not want to worry me, but I feel pathetic right now.

"Kotoko..." I swallowed. "Kotoko, don't you trust me?" I blurted out.

"What? Irie-kun! Of course I do." She looked outraged. "Why would you even ask that question?" She slid near the edge of the bed towards me.

"You... you..." I couldn't say that out loud, that she seems so far away from me. She came closer and hugged me. I immediately held her tightly against me. I couldn't tell her that I was getting horrified by the feelings that she was drifting further away from me. I was never this terrified in my entire life.

"I am so so so sorry Irie-kun. I am sorry about everything. I don't even know how to explain anything to you." Kotoko said softly patting my back.

"You can start by explaining about your allergic problem." I mumbled inhaling her scent.

"Well, I was always intolerant in consuming excess alcohol. So it was natural isn't it? Alcohol don't metabolise in my system anymore." She said.

"Can I see your test reports?" I asked her. She remained silent. It's true she was always intolerant to excess alcohol. Her report should contain the details.

"I... I keep them in my locker at Hope. Since I do my checkups there, there is no point carrying them from home to Hope." She said finally.

"Oh..." I said.

"Speaking of which, I have evening duty today." She pulled away from me muttering that.

"Which, you are not doing today." I said sternly.

"I know, I'm not." She smiled lightly, stood up and grabbed her bag from the bedside table where I put that to get her mobile out. Once she got it out, she held out her hand at me to pull me on my feet.

"Let's get downstairs. Everyone must be worried." She said. I nodded and followed her out of the room.

...

(Kotoko POV)

I descendent the stairs with Irie-kun right behind me. I was feeling really nervous. My heart was nearly hammering in my rib-cage. I was glad that my fracture had been healed or else it might have hurt real badly due to all the hammering. The moment he questioned if I didn't trust him, I felt like my heart pierced. He was undeniably hurt. I'm feeling awfully sorry right now. I was not sure if my decision of hiding everything was an ideal one anymore. I seriously have no idea of how I will be doing all the explaining.

 _Shit man! He is going to get so much hurt. What have I done? What do I do now?_

I entered the sitting room where Yuki-kun was reading a book and my father was reading a newspaper. Otou-san was probably working in his library and oka-san in the kitchen making dinner.

"Kotoko, are you okay now?" My father asked when he saw me, putting down the newspaper.

"Yes otou-san. I'm completely fine now." I tried to assure him.

"Kotoko, how could you eat the dish containing alcohol, baka?" Yuki-kun scolded me creasing his forehead.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention to what I was eating."

He didn't reply anything, only shook his head. Irie-kun sat in one of the chairs. I went to the kitchen.

"Kotoko-chan, are you okay?" Oka-san asked as soon as I entered the kitchen.

"Yes, I'm. I'm sorry oka-san, I made you so worried." She walked to me and hugged me in response.

"Don't be sorry dear. I'm so relieved that you are alright." I only patted her back without saying anything.

After a while she pulled away from the hug and went to resume her work. I called Hana and informed her that I won't be doing the evening duty today. When she inquired about the reason, I only told her I was feeling weak. She lectured me about resting properly. I work as an extra in Hope. I was assigned as a nurse due to special request from Dr. Ayano. This was the sole reason which allowed me to get a flexible duty schedule. I could, arrange, change or cancel my duties at any time depending on my physical condition. My whole schedule was accurately planned so that either Mio or Hana or both of them had duties at the same time with me. If I was unavailable, they always took care of my part. I was so grateful to them. After ending the call, I helped oka-san despite her protest, with the small works.

As soon as we settled around the dinner table, I assured otou-san for the fourth times within the last few hours, which actually felt like a hundredth times, that I was fine.

During the dinner, my father suddenly asked me, when was the last time I examined my allergic condition. I informed him that I checked that only last week. It was true. We always keep track of my each and every side effect. This was the reason why I keep all my reports at Hope.

"You should get a check-up tomorrow." He told me.

"Otou-san, don't be so worried..." I started but, "I will do that." I added hurriedly seeing the look on his face.

"I will go with you. We will leave in the morning." Irie-kun said.

"What?" I looked up at him in shock. "You are supposed to go to Kobe tomorrow. Don't you have a conference to attend to?" I asked him.

"That's not important. My professor will take care of the presentation. I will mail him all the materials after dinner." He replied patiently.

"You have got to be kidding me." I felt anxious and angry at the same time.

"Whatever suits you?" He remarked without looking up.

"Irie-kun! You can't be serious! You have worked so hard for this thesis and you said this conference will be a huge event and a great opportunity." I tried to put some sense in him as his words weren't making any sense to me at all. He was doing exactly what I was afraid of. He was kicking all his hard works away just because of the stupid allergic problem. Who knows what he would have done if I had told him the truth in Kobe that night. All the guilt that I was feeling since I woke up disappeared right on the spot and I felt furious at my pathetic condition.

"I know what I'm doing. Just because I don't attend a conference doesn't mean all my hard work will go in vein Kotoko. Relax." He told me looking up at me. But it didn't faze me.

"I don't care. I won't be going through any sort of damned tests if you don't attend your conference tomorrow and I. Mean. It." I said loudly with finality looking straight in his eyes. He just stared back at me. I could tell he was half amused and half irritated by the authority of my voice. He was probably wondering if I had hit my head somewhere because I was behaving so out of character. Well, at least to him for sure.

"Naoki, dear, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you for not coming home. I was so frustrated..."

"Oka-san, I know. That's fine and you were right anyway." Irie-kun interrupted her. I looked from one to another between them wondering what they were talking about. Oka-san gaped at him in amazement for a few seconds. He just admitted that oka-san was right. _Now, that doesn't happen every day, does it?_

"Oni-chan, you should go. Don't worry, I will accompany her tomorrow." Yuki-kun said.

Although I was very much touched with them for being so much concerned but I couldn't allow them to accompany me to Hope, at least not yet.

"Look... seriously... guys? I was fine doing it on my own all these months. I'm sure 3 more days wouldn't hurt. Besides, I don't have an appointment yet. So I will just see my doctor after my morning duty tomorrow. Just relax okay?"

None of them replied anything. Irie-kun was looking down at his food. After a while I realised, he was only staring down and not eating at all. I frowned and replayed all the words that I have just spoken.

 _Damn it._ It must have hurt when I said I was fine doing it alone all these months. Why am I being so adamant in rubbing salt in the wound?

 _Somebody please shoot me!_


	21. Chapter 21- Kobe Conference

**Kobe conference**

(Kotoko POV)

I woke up early in the following morning. After freshening up I went downstairs to prepare breakfast. When I went back into the room, Irie-kun was already up and was in the bathroom. I quickly changed into my working attire. When he came out of the bathroom he just glanced at me but didn't say anything. _Great, he wasn't talking to me._ I felt a little sad. To my great relief, he has changed his decision and was going to Kobe for the conference. Although, he didn't seem to be happy about it. I left for work early. Yuki-kun insisted to drop me at work at least. I didn't object. It was fine as long as he doesn't come inside with me.

I went straight to Dr. Ayano to inform him about my allergic incident. He scolded me for being careless and not coming to Hope straight away yesterday. But he immediately started testing me with all the required tests and informed Dr. Shinju about it. Hana and Mio helped them out. After 2 hours everything was done and the reports seemed okay. But Dr. Ayano strictly instructed to keep me under observation. When he was done with giving out all the instructions, he turned towards me.

"Kotoko-san, can I have a word with you?" I nodded and followed him to his cabin, mentally noting his cold voice. When I entered his cabin, I found Dr. Shinju already present there.

"Take a seat." He instructed me and went around his table to sit in his chair. I swallowed and sat in the chair across him next to Dr. Shinju.

"Kotoko-san, you clearly know how your condition is right now, don't you?" He asked me sounding a lot calmer than I thought he would.

"Yes doctor." I replied in a small voice.

"You know that your previous two months therapies didn't go well. And if the next therapy which is scheduled next week doesn't work, you will enter your 2nd stage of Neuroshia. Right?"

"That's right." I mumbled.

"Then why don't I see any progress on informing your family about your condition Kotoko-san?" Dr. Ayano asked me with serious voice. I remained silent looking down.

"Kotoko-san, you promised us you won't take long in informing your family about you when you started your treatment. It's been more than a year already." Dr. Shinju said kindly.

"I know doctor. I will tell them soon. I thought I was doing fine on my own so I kept it a secret."

"You were doing fine, yes. That is why we supported you in this. But not anymore. I have been telling you from the last 2 months that you need to stay in the hospital for longer during your therapy. We need to change your medicines so we need to observe you more. But you don't seem to bother at all. Is it because you are not taking the treatment seriously? Or is it that you are not taking _us_ seriously as your doctors because we are also your colleagues?" Dr. Ayano was angry. I shook my head frantically at him.

"It's not that. Believe me doctor Ayano. I have never for a single moment took my condition lightly and I respect all of you with my heart. It's... just that... it's really hard to break the news to my family." I looked down feeling helpless.

"Well you had your fair share of time to figure that out. I'll give you 3 more days. I'm going out of town to attend a conference in Neuroshia. When I return I want to see your guardian with you. You make sure you do that because if you don't then I will have to contact your father personally. You left his contact information in your admission paper remember."

"Doctor Ayano!" I gaped at him feeling perplexed.

"Kotoko-san, I took that decision as your colleague. You need the support of your family. Do you understand?" He said softly.

I nodded. While I was actually really relieved that he wasn't seriously mad at me, I still felt scared. He was scolding me because he was concerned.

"My husband will return in 4 days and I will tell him soon." I promised.

"I look forward to see him with you in your next therapy Kotoko-san." He said.

"I understand."

"Good. Now go take some rest. You don't need to work today. Also stay careful."

"Thank you doctor." I smiled at them both and went back to the nurse station.

...

(Naoki POV)

I reached Kobe around the mid-day. The conference will start from 4 pm. I checked in at a hotel near the hall where the conference will be held and went to see my professor. We discussed and took some last minute preparations. The conference started on time. The first day of conference was assigned to Neurology, gynaecology and paediatrics. The first two presentations were on brain cancer and Alzheimer respectively.

But what succeeded to grab my utmost attention was the third and final presentation of Neurology. It was on Neuroshia. It was Dr. Ayano Rei, who gave the presentation. I knew immediately that he was Kotoko's professor. He gave a briefing about their patient's condition and treatment progress. The patient was around my age. Her condition was neutral for a few months but since the previous two months some complications appeared. He also compared and differentiated some points with his USA patients. After the end of his presentation, neurology department concluded their discussion and gynaecology department took their place. I started discussing about Neuroshia with my professor. Suddenly I wanted to know more about it.

Our presentation was the last presentation which ended the conference for the day. After the conference we were served with dinner. To my great astonishment, my professor took me with him and joined Dr. Ayano in his table. Apparently they knew each other. They had a small talk and after that he introduced me with Dr. Ayano. We talked about Neuroshia for a while.

"You ore an intelligent young man Irie-san. Glad to know you." Dr. Ayano told me. I smiled modestly.

"He is the best intern I have come across until now and a very hard-working one too." My professor added.

"I would be glad to work with you someday too." Dr. Ayano smiled.

"Same here." I responded.

"He is a great candidate for research work Rei. You can scout him if you need a paediatrician for your research." My professor said.

"Well, actually I do. Our team is short of a paediatrician and I had to cover that work too. If Irie-san is interested then he is more than welcome in my team."

I was surprised to be honest. I didn't know I would actually get this chance. I really wanted to work with Kotoko. I genuinely wanted to help her in her research. I didn't waste another moment to agree.

"It would be a great honour to join you doctor." I told him.

After that we discussed how we can collaborate together. Since I work at Tonan, I will be joining his team as a guest doctor from Tonan. I will need an official permission from Tonan but that wasn't a problem. My professor will get that for me. I felt slightly anxious thinking how Kotoko will take this. If things were like before, then I could have said that she will be absolutely delighted. But now, I'm not so sure. I didn't talk about Kotoko to Dr. Ayano. I could always do that in the next visit. Besides, I wanted to talk to Kotoko about it at first.

...

The next two days passed quickly and suddenly on the fourth day I was on the train returning home. I reached home around 8 pm. Kotoko was still in the hospital. After dinner I went out for a walk. I grabbed a coffee from a store and walked around our neighbourhood. I was thinking about the contents of the book I was currently reading. I have started to acquire the basic knowledge of Neurology.

I was near to our house when I noticed two figures walking ahead of me. They were laughing about something. It was Kotoko with a man maybe of around our age who I have never seen before. Kotoko punched on his shoulder and laughed out loud when he said something. I stopped on my track. My gaze was transfixed on her face. I haven't seen her laughing with so much happiness in ages. One second my heart was warm and in the next, it prickled. _That laugh was not directed towards me._ I felt slightly bitter. I observed the man next to her. He pushed her through our gate and told something I couldn't hear. She raised her arm in a salute, mimicking a solder, probably agreeing to do whatever he told her. She walked towards the house and he waited until she was inside. Then he turned and started to walk towards me. I was looking down and continued doing that until he walked past me. I stood there for a while immersed into thought. I couldn't help feeling bitter. I sighed and started to walk towards the house in a slow pace.

"I'm home." I announced, closing the door behind me.

"Welcome home Irie-kun." She greeted me. I just nodded and kept looking at her.

"How was the conference?" She asked.

"It was fine." I replied.

"Oh... Glad to know that..." She said and looked around. She was getting nervous under my stares.

"I will get some rest. I'm a bit tired." I said and walked towards the stairs. I wasn't lying about being tired. I was so sleepy. I went out for fresh air just to keep myself awake. I wanted to see Kotoko before I sleep.

I went straight to bed after changing into my pyjamas. I didn't know when Kotoko join me in the bed because I was already in a deep sleep.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you so much everyone for regularly reviewing the story.. I feel so happy reading each and every one.. I hope you liked this chapter..

You might wonder why Naoki didn't put 2 and 2 together even after the presentation about the Neuroshia patient since he observed all her side effects. That's because A. its totally unexpected and B. the presentation or reports did not gave away the patients identity. The patient was represented as a _case_ in the conference. Besides, Kotoko made sure that he believes there was a separate person who was _her_ patient.


	22. Chapter 22- The Calm Before The Storm

**The Calm before the Storm**

(Kotoko POV)

When I woke up on the Friday morning I was alone in the bed. I took the alarm clock in my hand. It was 8:30 am! "Oh no! I overslept." I yelped. Irie-kun must have left to work. I checked the phone and found 2 missed calls from Hana and Mio each. I immediately called Hana to inform that I was fine. I didn't rush as I was already late. I took my time to get ready and left for work.

I was nervous to meet Dr. Ayano. I wasn't sure if he was still angry at me. But Dr. Ayano seemed busy as I didn't see him much until lunch. After the lunch, all the doctors of Neuroshia team had a meeting. We were informed later that they have decided to recruit a very capable paediatric doctor for the team as we were short of one. We didn't know about the details of the doctor as this wasn't official yet.

In the afternoon Dr. Ayano gave all the nurses a small briefing on the meeting they just had. A few changes are in order of my treatment process. They had prepare the new treatment plan with me staying over the hospital for minimum one week during my therapy session. That can increase depending on my response to the medicine. The plan just made sure I have to spill out everything to my family. Hence for the millionth times I set my mind in doing that- tonight.

Having set my mind I returned home early that day only to discover me in an empty house. "Where is everyone?" I wondered aloud. I went near the dinner table seeing a vase containing beautiful fresh flowers and found a note pressed under that oka-san had left.

 _Naoki and Kotoko,_

 _Naoki papa and I are going over to Aihara-san's restaurant for the dinner. Yuki and Konomi will join us there later. I cooked dinner for you both. We will be late so don't wait up for us. Have fun!_

 _Oka-san._

I sighed. Oka-san must have planned this to give us some alone time. She was being so considerate while I was being a jerk to them. I went to kitchen to check the food. Knowing oka-san, she must have prepared something special.

"Why am I not surprised?" I wondered aloud again with a grin. Each and every container was filled with yummy foods which were our favourites.

I went upstairs to get changed. I thought for a moment what to wear. Then I decided to keep it casual and choose normal attire. I went back to the kitchen and started heating up the foods. Then I prepared the table and served dinner to the table. I sat on a chair and started to wait for him. But he was _late!_

...

(Naoki POV)

It was a long day for me. I left for work in the morning leaving Kotoko deep in sleep. I was an intern at the Tonan. So I had to apply for an official permission so that I could join the Neuroshia team in Hope. It was granted immediately.

Apparently my professor has referred about that to Tonan's director who agreed upon it. I made a call to Dr. Ayano and informed him about it. He then had a meeting with his team members and finalised it. I requested him not to disclose my identity to his team members right now. I was yet to inform Kotoko about this. Besides, Dr. Ayano also didn't know that my wife is a nurse and works under his wings.

An emergency case arrived in the late afternoon which resulted extending my working hour for the day. By the time I reached home it was well past dinner time.

I opened the door to a quiet house. "I'm home." I muttered in an audible tone but nobody answered.

I entered the sitting area and found Kotoko curled up on a couch fast asleep. My eyes fell over the dinner table and saw dinner was served. She must have fallen asleep while waiting for me. I kneeled on the ground in front of her. Using the index I traced the lock of hairs that fell over her eyes and tucked them under her ears. I cupped the side of her face with my right hand and used the thumb to caress her cheek until she stirred and woke up. She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at me.

"I'm home." I told her softly.

She looked confused for a second but then tilted her face on my hand and closed her eyes for a moment and sighed.

"Welcome home." She replied softly and started to move down from the couch. I stood up to give her space and she stood up next to me.

"Am I missing something?" I pointed over the dinner table with my head.

"Trust me, you are not the only one wondering this." She replied. I raised a brow.

"When I returned home everyone was already out for dinner at the Aihara. Oka-san left the food for us." She explained.

I nodded. That would explain the exaggeration of the dinner.

"I will come down after changing." I told her and went upstairs.

Kotoko was already sitting down on a chair when I returned. I occupied a chair to her right. The smell of the food was mouth-watering. Although without expressing that, I started eating.

We were both eating in silence. I wanted to ask her how she was doing at work, or more precisely I wanted to ask her who dropped her home yesterday. I was too tired and annoyed to do that yesterday but the question bugged me the entire day. It was obvious he was either a colleague or a friend but someone who I never heard off. It didn't surprise me honestly as this is not the only thing I don't know about her these days. I controlled the urge to sigh.

"How was your day?" Kotoko started the conversation after a while.

"It was hectic. The afternoon emergency drained all the energy out." I tilted my head to the right and rubbed my left shoulder with my left hand.

"You look so tired." She said sympathetically.

"How was your day?" I repeated the same question to her.

"Oh... It was... as usual." She paused to think. "A new doctor is joining our team, a paediatrician. But, it's not confirmed yet."

I nearly choked on the food and stopped eating for a while. "Oh..." I only mumbled. I need to tell her but I was confused if she will like it or not. I didn't want her to feel bad.

...

(General POV)

While Naoki was lost in thought about how to tell Kotoko that he is the paediatrician she was talking about, Kotoko was also wondering how to bring up the topic of Neuroshia to him. Lost in their own thoughts they finished their dinner. Naoki helped Kotoko to clean up the table, then went to the sitting area and dropped on a couch. He closed his eyes. He was so tired. On the other hand, Kotoko cleaned up the kitchen as fast as she could. She was thinking about all the ways in which she could approach. She started imagining in her head.

How about a casual way with a smile on the face?

 _Hey Irie-kun. I have been trying to tell you something for a while. You know the Neuroshia patent I always talk to you about?_ _Well to tell you the truth, she is not who you think she is! Actually I have it. I am the patient of Neuroshia._

Kotoko shook her head.

 _Nope. Not good. In fact this is the worst possible idea. Irie-kun will be really shocked. Screw you Kotoko! You should dig up a hole, throw yourself in it and just stay there forever!_ Kotoko mentally cursed herself in frustration.

 _I need to act normal so that he doesn't get too shocked._ Kotoko determined that mentally and moved closer to where Naoki was resting.

 _What if I go and sit on his lap and hug him tightly. Then I could whisper it to him and I wouldn't have to look in his eyes. But I wouldn't be ignoring him either._ Kotoko who was imagining the strategy staring straight at Naoki didn't realise that he was talking to her and was now wondering what she was thinking being out of this world.

"Oi Kotoko, What are you thinking?" He asked again.

"Umm... that if I could sit on your lap..." She trailed off. She was thinking what he would do if she suddenly sit on him. Then she realised what she blurted out.

"I _did not_ just speak that out loud! Did I?" She asked incredulously.

Naoki was stunned. His lips slowly curved into a mischievous smirk.

"As a matter of fact, you _just_ did." He was looking straight into her eyes.

Kotoko blushed. She opened her lips to say something but nothing came out. She tried to move away from Naoki but he was faster than her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap. Kotoko blushed harder seeing the intense stare he was giving her. Naoki's heart flattered seeing her blushing so much. She tried to get up but he pulled her down and held her tight by her waist.

"Stay." He whispered near her ears sending shivers down her entire body. She stilled.

Naoki moved up his right hand and used it to trace Kotoko's eyes, nose, and lips while his other hand remained on her waist. Kotoko started to feel butterflies in her stomach and closed her eyes to the sensation. Naoki pulled her closer and she opened her eyes to meet his gaze. Naoki was staring at her with longing eyes. Kotoko put her both hands on his hairs and moved closer to him closing her eyes once again. Naoki sealed her with a kiss.

It was slow and gentle at the beginning. Then it turned into a more deeper and passionate kiss. Naoki used his tongue to trace her lower lip. Kotoko shook violently and a soft moan skipped her lips as she parted them. Naoki plunged his tongue inside her mouth and starts to explore it. She tasted so good. Kotoko arched backwards as she moaned again.

After a while Naoki pulled his tongue out of her mouth for air. Kotoko was panting. She hugged him tight. They both missed this feeling. They both longed for it. Naoki dipped his face on her hair above the shoulder and inhaled her scent. Then he started to kiss and lick on her neck leaving her breathless.

Kotoko couldn't think straight anymore. She pulled him into another mind blowing kiss. This times Naoki kissed her with a little force, harder and faster. It was the kind of kiss that defined how much he craved her. Kotoko also held him tight and kissed back being equally passionate.

When he entered her mouth again, Kotoko also reciprocated. It was Naoki's turn to moan in Kotoko's mouth when her tongue traced the inside of his mouth. They played with their tongues fighting for dominance. Naoki's one hand was moving up and down her back slowly relaxing her and other one was on her neck while Kotoko's one hand was tracing through his hairs and the other one on his chest.

They both separated when their lungs were out of air. Kotoko pulled Naoki's head towards her and rested his forehead on hers. Naoki's hands were still caressing on her back and arms.

"Kotoko..." He tried to speak but his voice was too much hoarse.

"Kotoko..." He tried again after a while. Their foreheads were still attached together. "You have fever."

"Hm?" Kotoko's mind couldn't register what he said.

"You're coming down with a fever." He said again.

"Oh?" Kotoko understood and pulled away to look at him. Naoki was looking at her with concern.

"Why do you keep falling ill Kotoko?" He asked.

"I... I do, don't I?" Kotoko smiled slightly and looked away. Naoki just stared at her. Kotoko touched her neck and forehead to check her temperature which was mild.

"I'll take some medicine." She delivered her usual speech and got up from his lap. "I wonder where everyone is." She stated looking at the clock. It was nearly 11 pm. Kotoko could feel his gaze still on her so she didn't look at him as she didn't want to meet his eyes. "See you upstairs." She told him and went upstairs to eat her medicines. She still couldn't bring herself to tell him. Especially not after the passionate moment they just shared. She couldn't break his heart… not tonight.

Naoki sat still on the couch for a while. Kotoko did not disagree with him about her being continuously ill like other times. That's a first. But he didn't like the vibe. He would rather have Kotoko disagree with him. He couldn't explain what he was feeling. He was uneasy. After a moment he figured out that he felt _scared!_ But _why?_

Naoki decided to remain downstairs and wait for his family.

* * *

 **A/N:** Surprise surprise.. ^_^ I hope it was surprising.. Well I thought we need some comfort before the storm. But as I'm writing for the first time, I'm not sure if i justified the romantic moment. I hope it's good enough.

I have to confess.. the confrontation moment is really hard to pen down. I'm trying my best but i might be late in updating the next chapter than I usually do. Please don't don't be disappointed and let me know if you enjoyed this chapter.. :)


	23. Chapter 23- The Final Blow

**A/N:** Thank you thank you thank you everyone.. I really appreciate each and every reviews. They make me so happy.. :) I finally managed to upload the next chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

 **The Final Blow**

(Naoki POV)

Yuki returned home early dropping Konomi at her home. I was reading a book on Neurology sitting on a couch to divert my mind. I was feeling worried and uneasy about Kotoko being so ill all the time. I need to talk to her but she looked so tired with the mild fever. That was rather surprising. I remained downstairs so that she could sleep early without any distraction.

"I'm home. Why are you still awake?" Yuki asked me.

"Welcome home. I was waiting for you all."

"Oh... you didn't have too. Oka-san didn't plan this for you to wait for us." He smirked pointedly. I scowled at him.

"Good night." I told him and started to walk out of the room.

"Umm... Oni-chan?" He called me suddenly. I looked back at him stopping on my track. "Can I have a word with you? Since you are still awake." He added.

"What is the matter?" I asked moving closer to him.

"What did Kotoko tell you about her report?" He asked me unexpectedly. I didn't reply anything immediately.

"She said her reports were normal and she will show me those when I return home. I suppose she will show me tomorrow morning." I replied.

 _We were both distracted enough to forget about that tonight I guess._ I mentally added.

"I hope she will." He said slowly.

"Is something wrong Yuki?" I asked him. My heart was beating faster slightly.

"It's just that... I asked her to show me her allergic reports multiple times but she always avoided that with some excuses. I didn't think about it too much because I thought you knew. But that isn't the case anymore..." He paused. I skipped a heartbeat.

"Are you suspecting anything?" I asked him.

"I didn't... not until you arrived." I raised a brow at him hearing that. "Let me explain." He continued. "At first I didn't notice anything. As I told you before, I took her to the emergency after she had her breathing problem for the first time. The doctor who attended her asked me if I was her family. Then, told me to keep an eye on her always because she was weak which was true as she keeps falling ill every now and then and not to let her touch alcohol ever again. After that I tried to do as the doctor said but it seemed impossible seeing she practically started living in that hospital. She started working in the longer shifts. Sometimes if she was too late her nurse colleagues dropped her home. I believed she was working too much just to keep herself busy as oka-san said. Also she seemed obsessed about her research and the patient because she studied hard." He stopped.

"What is your point?" I asked him dreading that I already knew the answer.

"A few months ago I found her fainted in her bedroom." He said looking down.

"What?" I couldn't keep my voice normal. I felt like the hairs on my shoulders were standing.

"She studied the whole morning that day. According to her she was dehydrated. I called you but you didn't receive my call and when she was back on her senses, she pleaded to keep that a secret from everyone and I don't know why but I obliged. I suddenly remembered that on the day you went to Kobe and thought I should tell you."

I just nodded at him and didn't say anything. I was trying to think but my head seemed heavier.

"I'm not sure what to think but I suddenly realised she gets ill frequently and that doesn't sound good. What do you think?" He asked me.

I again took some time before replying anything. My eyes were not focused on anything in particular. I took several breaths to calm my senses.

"I'm not sure either Yuki, but I have a hunch now. But it could be wrong... It… should be wrong... She would never..." I trailed off.

"Oni-chan?"

"I'm going to bed Yuki. I... I will talk to you tomorrow." I left the room without waiting for his reply and went upstairs.

I went straight to bed. I could feel my hands and legs were shaking. I turned at my side to look at the peaceful sleeping face of my wife.

"No. I'm sure I'm wrong." I mumbled. But my brain didn't agree on that statement.

...

(Kotoko POV)

I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night which was quite natural for me now. I just had a very disturbing dream where my whole family was upset with me. They weren't talking to me. Then a very shocked Irie-kun was staring at me with eyes full of sorrow. When I tried to move closer to him he started to fade away until I was left all alone in the dark. I looked to my right at the dark sleeping form near me. I was panting and remained still until my breathing was normal again. After a short time I got down from the bed carefully. Then taking one step at a time I walked out of the room. I went downstairs and drank some water. It was 2:15 am in the morning as per the kitchen clock. Suddenly I heard noise behind me and turned to see my father equally surprised seeing me.

"What are you doing there Kotoko? Why aren't you sleeping?" He asked me.

"I came down for some water otou-san. Why are you not sleeping?" I directed his question back at him.

"I came back only 30 minutes ago. I was also down for some water."

"What were you doing this late?" I asked him while passing the water bottle to him.

"The water pipe in the kitchen broke at the restaurant. The repair company came and fixed that. Kinnosuke and I only retired after cleaning up all the mess."

"Aw... that must have been awful." I patted his arm to comfort him.

"Everything is under-control now. Don't worry." He smiled at me.

"You should go and rest otou-san."

"Yes, you too child."

"I will in a while." I said and he looked at me with question in his eyes.

"I was planning to drink this." I showed him the bottle of fruit juice I took out of the fridge.

"May I join you?" Otou-san asked. "It's been a while since we had a drink together."

"Sure otou-san." I grinned broadly at him.

I took out a beer for him and we both went over to the sitting area to sit down comfortably.

"How is my daughter doing?" He asked me taking the first sip from his drink.

"It's as usual otou-san. I'm doing fine." I replied with a small smile.

"You are getting way too much skinny Kotoko. You should eat more. What would people say when they will see the daughter of a restaurant owner all skin and bone?" He huffed playfully.

I laughed out loud. "I know right? I didn't think about that." I told him. He laughed with me.

"Jokes apart. You really should take care of your health Kotoko. Naoki-kun is back now isn't he? Stop working so hard." He told me which wiped the smile out of my face.

"I will otou-san. I am so sorry that I'm making everyone so much worried." I sighed.

"What are you sorry for my child? Isn't that what a family is for? To care for each other." He said consoling me. I smiled at him.

"Yes otou-san. You are correct." I agreed with him. We drank some more quietly then I started talking again.

"Otou-san, do you remember everything about oka-san?"

"Yes, I do." He said softly.

"Do you still miss her?"

"Every moment of my life." He took another sip.

"Is that why you never got re-married otou-san?" I asked without looking at him but I could feel he was looking at me with surprise hearing that question.

"Why would you ask that?" He was surprised indeed.

"I just realised I never encouraged you to get married again. You had to spend your entire life alone." My voice was dry.

"I was never alone Kotoko. You were always with me." He replied sharply.

"Yes, I was." I gulped. "It's just that... Irie-kun... He will do the same thing you did. He will also stay alone forever. At least you had me, but he will be alone. And I don't like that. I don't want him to suffer alone. I will always hope he will get over someday..." I stopped and realised what I was blabbering.

"What are you _talking_ about?" Otou-san looked at me with a shocked face.

"What I mean is... When I put myself in place of oka-san, this is what comes to my mind. Oka-san and I are quite alike aren't we? So she must have also wanted you to get married again. She must have wanted you to be happy." I quickly tried to cover it.

"I was always happy. I _am_ happy Kotoko."

"I'm sure you are." I smiled at him. "You have the best daughter of this whole world after all."

"I will have to agree on that." He smiled back.

"Let's get back to sleep now otou-san. It's quite late." I got up.

"Yes let's go." He also got up and followed me out.

"Kotoko" He stopped us both on the way. "You and your mother are very similar in many ways. But I always appreciated that you never hide anything from me. Your mother didn't share it when she was sick. That even is the reason why I lost her..."

I froze. That is exactly what I was doing right now. How am I ever going to ask for their forgiveness?

"Otou-san..." I interrupted, "oka-san must have had her reason. I understand her. I really do." He wanted to cut me off but I didn't let him and continued. "She took that decision because she loved you. I wouldn't say her choice was a correct one." I paused. "But yes I understand how much she loved you." I cleared my voice with a small cough. I was on the verge of tears. I hugged otou-san who patted my back for a while. I must have made him confused with all the talks. So I again told him to retire to bed and moved towards the stairs.

...

(General POV)

What Kotoko and her father were unaware of was the shaking figure that had slide onto the ground earlier listening to their conversation. He went back to his room inside his blanket before either of them could discover him on the ground.

...

Naoki went outside as soon as the first light of the day broke. He was feeling suffocated inside the house. He needed to clear his head because he didn't want to jump to any conclusion. The thought that was crossing his mind currently was something he never in his wildest dream could have imagined to be possible.

 _No, that assumption is incorrect. I'm wrong. It has to be wrong._

He kept telling himself again and again. He had no idea where he was going and he didn't care. He walked around anywhere his legs took him. Nearly at 9 am he finally decided something. He needed to be sure. He took out his mobile and pressed call on a number.

"Hello, it's Naoki here. I know its Saturday and it's kind of rude to call you this early but I'm really desperate right now." He paused to listen to the other side.

"I would like to invite you to my home today at lunch. I needed to discuss something with you in presence of my family." He again paused to listen to the other side.

"Thank you so much for understanding. I really appreciate this. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience." He said politely. After that he gave the address and direction to his house to the person and ended the call.

He called Mrs. Irie and informed her that they will be having a guest over at lunch. She demanded to know where he was but he just told her that he will be home for lunch. He had planned not to step inside the house before that. After dropping the call he resumed his walk to nowhere.

...

(Naoki POV)

I returned home prior to lunch. I could catch the delicious smells that were coming from the kitchen and dining area. My father didn't go out since the morning. I had also informed Kotoko's father to join us for the lunch. He seemed to be helping out Kotoko and oka-san at the kitchen. I sat on a couch and waited for my guest to arrive.

He arrived 15 minutes later. I welcomed him inside. Oka-san and otou-san also came out to greet him. We escorted him to our backyard where we will have our lunch. All four of us sat around in the lunch table. I introduced them to each other. After a while Yuki and otou-san (Kotoko's father) joined us with some appetiser. Oka-san helped them to serve.

"Where is Kotoko?" Oka-san asked Yuki.

"She will join us shortly with beers." He replied.

"She is my wife, Irie Kotoko. She works for the Neuroshia team at Hope." I clarified my guest as he was looking at Yuki with confusion. But his expression turned into utterly shocked hearing that.

"But you said you are going to work in the Neuroshia team too. Oh..." Oka-san seemed to suddenly understand. "You will be joining Kotoko-chan's team. That is wonderful." She clapped her hands together smiling brightly.

I didn't respond to my mother. I was still looking at the person who was probably trying to understand the situation.

Suddenly a huge smashing sound of dropping a tray full of beers made us aware of the appearance of the last remaining person of the house.

"Dr. Ayano!" A very shocked Kotoko muttered in a barely audible tone which didn't go unnoticed by any of us as suddenly everyone has gone very quiet.

* * *

 **A/N:** I hope I didn't over dramatised the moment. And please don't hate me for stopping here..


	24. Chapter 24- When the world shattered

**A/N:** Finally the most waited chapter... I really don't know how it is.. So please let me know... and this is probably my longest chapter! ^_^

 **Kotoko's disease, diagnosis, causes, symptoms, treatment- everything is written out of imagination which does not have any logical explanation.**

* * *

 **When the world shattered**

(Kotoko POV)

I was decorating the salad dish when Irie-kun welcomed his guest inside. To be honest I was quite surprised when oka-san told me this morning that Irie-kun invited one of his colleagues over to lunch at home. The only person he ever invited home for a meal earlier was Sahoko-san and her grandfather. That invitation was important because he wanted to introduce her to his family. I wonder who this new colleague is.

"I will bring beers out in a minute. You can start with the appetiser." I told otou-san.

"Okay. Don't be late." He instructed me and went out into the backyard to join the others with the appetiser. Yuki-kun helped him.

I took my time and gathered the required beers on a tray. Then I carefully carried them outside in the backyard. I couldn't see the guest's face because Irie-kun was sitting right across him blocking him from my view. As I moved closer I heard what oka-san said which caused a huge jolt in my heart and made me take a few quick steps forward and finally I saw the guest. I felt like the entire world shook beneath my feet and the tray I was holding slipped to the ground off my hands making a loud smashing sound.

"Dr. Ayano." I uttered. I was staring at him in utter disbelief.

 _What on earth is he doing here?_ I felt numb. _How did they know each other?_

All the heads have turned towards me expect Irie-kun's, who didn't look back. I stared at his back which was stiff and then I gaped at Dr. Ayano who seemed flabbergasted.

"Kotoko-chan, are you alright?" Oka-san rushed towards me. I didn't reply to her and again resumed staring at the back of Irie-kun.

"Kotoko-san!" Dr. Ayano mumbled and stood up.

I focused my eyes back on Dr. Ayano automatically. But I was too dumbfounded to say anything.

...

(General POV)

"Irie Kotoko... Irie Naoki... No way... What?" It seemed like Dr. Ayano was equally astounded.

"I'm sorry to put you in this situation Dr. Ayano. But I was desperate this morning and I needed answers which I think I have now." Naoki's voice broke in the end. He gulped and fisted his hands. He was frozen on his seat and still was not looking back at Kotoko.

"What's going on Naoki?" Mr. Irie asked him.

Instead of replying he took a deep breath and finally stood up and turned to face Kotoko. She had tears in her eyes. Realisation was crushing down on him giving him shocks as if electric current was passing through him. It was killing him from inside. He just stared at her unable to say anything.

"Will somebody speak up?" Mrs. Irie asked, bewildered.

"Kotoko -san." Dr. Ayano addressed Kotoko. "You need to explain it, to me and to every single member of your family. Your family clearly doesn't have any hunch of what's going on here." He said sharply.

Kotoko looked down. Tears spilled from her eyes.

"Very well. I have no idea of what you were planning. I have told you explicitly that you need to inform your family about your situation but you kept delaying." He continued. "I understand your husband was out of town and you didn't want him to get involved, although I don't quite understand why- seeing your husband is Irie Naoki, you still could have confessed to your in-laws or at least to your father."

Everyone was nonplus and looking at Dr. Ayano while Naoki kept looking at Kotoko. Kotoko looked up at Dr. Ayano.

"Dr. Ayano, I'm sorry. I tried but I didn't know how to..." She sobbed.

It was evident that Kotoko was still unable to confess and Dr. Ayano wasn't sure if it was his place to interfere. So Naoki opened his mouth at last.

"Kotoko... Please..." He needed to hear it directly from her in order to believe.

In the meantime, Kotoko's face had already turned red due to all the crying. She could hardly speak, but she still mastered up her courage and started speaking.

"I... I..." She gulped. "I have Neuroshia... I was diagnosed a year ago. I wanted to tell Irie-kun after he returned but I couldn't... I couldn't just say it..." She sobbed harder. "I'm so sorry to you all."

 _Finally the truth._

 _Finally the completely unthinkable utterly horrifying deadly dreadful truth!_

Naoki felt like his heart has stopped. He couldn't feel it beating.

So he turned out to be right. How badly he wanted to be wrong. He could do anything to be wrong just once. But unfortunately he was right.

His breathing became shallow. Anyone who didn't know better would think he was having a panic attack. He could feel tears were forming in his eyes, but they didn't fall. He was feeling so guilty that he felt like strangling himself. His heart was paining so much that he wanted to run a dagger through it and rip it apart just so that the pain would stop. He fisted his hands so tight that his knuckles turned white and the nails nearly dug on his palm.

Everyone else was on their feet now and they simply stared at Kotoko as if they didn't understand a single word she just spoke. Slowly when her words sunk in to them, Mrs. Irie felt extremely weak that she couldn't stand on her legs any longer. She dropped on the ground.

"Oka-san." Kotoko who was standing right next to her grabbed her and knelt down with her. Yuki ran forward for support and also knelt beside them holding Mrs. Irie.

"Kotoko... What are you saying?" Mr. Aihara asked with a trembling voice. He was wondering if he heard his daughter right and was looking at her with disbelief.

Kotoko hide her face with her both hands unable to answer her father. She had failed to realise earlier that how much she was going to hurt her family just to keep this hidden from Naoki. But no matter what, he was hurting the most.

"I think it would be better if I explain everything to you all." Dr. Ayano said. All the heads turned at him except Naoki who was watching his wife with anguish and Kotoko who was looking downwards.

"To be precise, Irie Kotoko-san was diagnosed with Neuroshia a year ago. That was before I knew her. I believe she went through some check-up at her previous hospital Tonan. They referred her to Kobe. She was again tested and confirmed about having Neuroshia. But she didn't start her treatment immediately. It was too sudden for her I guess. In the mean time I returned to Japan from USA and joined the Neuroshia team at Hope. I met her in the emergency of Hope for the first time."

"Dr. Ayano, please..." Kotoko pleaded him.

When he looked at her she shook her head. "Kotoko-san!" He only said, sympathy and warning mixed in his voice.

"Why in the emergency? Dr. Ayano, please continue." Mr. Irie urged him. The others were unable to speak. Dr. Ayano stared at Kotoko for another moment then continued.

"She fainted on the street and was taken to the Hope as it was the nearest." He paused thinking what to say.

Naoki closed his eyes. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. Kotoko looked up at him and felt like dying right on the spot seeing the hurt look on his face.

"Well, Dr. Shinju who diagnosed her before me introduced her to me. And after that day she decided to start her treatment but with some condition." He paused again. Every pairs of eyes were glued on him. Even Naoki turned at him opening his eyes.

"We had to sign a document which banned us from contacting her family unless it was a major emergency. She wanted to take her time to inform you all. According to her, since her father lost his wife due to the same disease and now she is suffering the same one, you all will be extra devastated. Also Irie Naoki-san was in Kobe and she told us either to wait until he comes back or to start her treatment based on the contract." He stopped for a while.

Naoki lowered his gaze towards the ground unable to look at anyone.

"She was in her initial stage... well, she is still in her initial stage of the disease, but when she started her treatment she was completely capable of taking decisions on her own. Also she is an adult. Hence it wasn't against the hospital policy and we decided to start her treatment as she wanted. She also joined as my assistant at Hope and then after her nursing exam she joined the team permanently as a nurse. So yes, she is a colleague as well as a patient of mine." He finished hoping he explained everything.

Everyone was dead silent. Even Kotoko was tired of crying and was sitting flat on her bottom on the ground. She wasn't feeling good. She cried so much that her head felt heavy and was throbbing due to a bad headache. She started to get dizzy and knew she was about to faint. She didn't even have the strength to look around at anyone. She didn't know if Naoki was looking at her. Slowly she started to lose focus and falling down to her right. She felt strong arms grabbed her and the warmth informed her that it was none other than Naoki. Naoki saw her fainting and instantly rushed to her. She lost her sense in his arm for the second time in less than 2 weeks.

"Kotoko-chan!"

"Kotoko."

Mrs. Irie and Mr. Aihara shouted at the same time. Everyone dashed towards her.

Dr. Ayano checked her pulse. Her breathing seemed fine.

"Irie-san, you should take her inside. She is too weak." Dr. Ayano instructed.

Naoki did as he was told. He lifted Kotoko carefully in his arms, took her inside and straight into their bedroom.

He laid her in the bed and pulled the blanket on her. Then he started to do some initial check-ups on her. After a while someone knocked on their bedroom door. When Naoki permitted to enter, Dr. Ayano pushed open the door and entered the room. He also did some check-ups on her.

"Dr. Shinju is on duty today. I asked him to bring me some emergency aid. He is on his way here. It would be better to shift Kotoko-san in the hospital but I assumed she will want to stay home for today. We'll discuss about this further later." Dr. Ayano told Naoki who only nodded.

Nearly 20 minutes later, Dr. Shinju arrived with all the necessary medicines and medical instruments. Yuki escorted him to Naoki's room. Their parents hovered over the door but didn't enter. They didn't want the room to become stuffy. Dr. Ayano put a saline on her while Dr. Shinju checked her blood pressure. He had also brought oxygen with him but it wasn't required since she wasn't having any breathing difficulties. Dr. Ayano then injected her with the medicine which will allow her to relax and sleep for a while. Then the doctors along with Naoki went out of the room.

"Let's go to downstairs." Naoki said in a low voice.

They all agreed and moved towards the stairs. Naoki led them to their sitting room where they all sat around in the sofas. The lunch remained forgotten.

"Dr. Ayano, I apologise again. I could have asked you or her directly but I wasn't sure if I was right and I was hoping to be wrong until the moment she clarified." Naoki's voice was very dry.

"Irie-san I understand. We were also trying to make her understand that it's high time that she should inform her family. But it wasn't easy for her either." Dr. Ayano tried to put some reason to Kotoko's decision. "Besides, I'm actually glad this happened at home rather than at hospital. Kotoko-san would have gotten into much worse condition if it was in the hospital." He said softly.

"This is Dr. Shinju. I spoke to you earlier about him. He was the one who diagnosed her." Dr. Ayano introduced them. "And they are Kotoko-san's family." He said turning his head towards Dr. Shinju. Then he explained how they were related and Dr. Shinju bowed his head slightly to everyone.

"I'm sure you all still have a lot of questions. Dr. Shinju, you might want to explain from the beginning."

Dr. Shinju obliged. He began to tell them everything in details starting from Dr. Miki Furukawa's assumption about Neuroshia to suggestion about Neuro-Hope Hospital. Then again about her going through several tests and Dr. Ayano reviewing the reports from USA and getting confirmed about Neuroshia.

When Dr. Shinju reached the part where he has to explain about Kotoko's mother's condition he hesitated. He turned to Dr. Ayano who was also hesitating. They both reached to the same decision without any verbal communication not to elaborate that part. They weren't sure if they had the right to talk about her mother.

Naoki noticed their hesitation and urged them to talk.

"Dr. Shinju, please, I need to know everything that you know." He pleaded.

"Well Irie-san." It was Dr. Ayano who replied. "We are not sure if it is our place to talk. Even if we can do that, I think we should wait for Kotoko-san. I'm sure she will want to be present for that. We would rather stick to her condition for now."

Naoki didn't want that but he agreed. He couldn't force the doctors. They were already doing more than they were obliged.

Then they explained how Neuroshia initiates and its stages. About Kotoko's condition and how the therapy works. Exactly how long it has been since she is getting the treatment and how she is maintaining her work and treatment. That answered how she wasn't sleep deprived all the time as she took rest enough in between her work.

They skipped telling anything related to Mrs. Aihara and also about Kotoko's accident. It was up to Kotoko to share that part as it wasn't related to her treatment and was entirely her personal business.

"Irie-san you must want to see her reports. They are kept in Hope. She also keeps her copies in her locker at Hope so far I know." Dr. Shinju said.

Before Naoki could respond, Dr. Ayano intervened.

"Irie-san already saw a few reports in the conference. I will email you the rest as soon as I get home. You should stay home for now." He directed the last part towards Naoki who gladly nodded with appreciation.

"Dr. Ayano, we are really sorry. You were here for the lunch but we totally forgot." Mr. Irie suddenly remembered what triggered the day to go so wrong.

"Oh... right... I will heat up everything again." Mrs. Irie stood up with difficulty. She was drained of all the energy.

"Dr. Shinju you should join to." Mr. Irie added.

"Mr. And Mrs. Irie please, it's really okay. I understand. You never expected this to turn out like that. I didn't expect either. We can have the lunch another day."

"But..." Mrs. Irie started.

"I had the appetiser. It was great. I'm sure the main course is even more delicious Mrs. Irie. Dr. Shinju and I will stop by some other day. I give you my words."

"Dr. Ayano, you should eat today. Please I insist." Naoki said.

"Irie-san, you don't have to feel bad. Seriously I don't mind. Besides Kotoko-san also owns us a lunch for all the explanation we did instead of her." Dr. Ayano said softly.

Naoki tried to smile but it looked very painful.

The doctors got up. But before they go out of the room Dr. Ayano stopped suddenly remembering something.

"Irie-san, there is something you still might not be aware of. This detail was written on the reports but was not mentioned on the presentation and I don't think it would be wise to leave it on Kotoko-san to inform you about it." He stopped.

"Yes doctor?" Naoki looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Kotoko-san is not allowed to conceive until her treatment is finished. The therapy will cause miscarriage." He stated looking at Naoki who nodded to make it clear that he understood.

"Umm also, the chances of conceiving after she is cured decreases greatly due to the treatment. She was informed about it before she started her treatment." Dr. Shinju added.

Naoki, who already read about it on the report in Kobe and the book he was reading on Neuroshia, was not shocked too much but the rest of his family was perplexed. Not knowing what to say, Naoki just nodded his head again looking down.

Mrs. Irie clutched her clothes over her heart and sat back on the sofa. Mr. Irie moved closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder. Mr. Aihara held his head with both hands and looked down.

Naoki and Yuki escorted the doctors out. Then Yuki went back to the sitting area and Naoki went straight to his wife.


	25. Chapter 25- Painful Realisations

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone for liking the story. I'm so touched and I feel so happy when I read each review. Most of you probably wanted a confrontation only between Naoki and Kotoko. But I didn't want them to go through the same pain twice confronting their family. It will break Kotoko. Besides, they are a strong family. They should stick together in all situation taking care of each other. The previous chapter was hard to write I admit.

I apologise for any kind of spelling or grammatical error. I try hard not to make any but I always mix up between British and American English. Please point out my errors everyone and I will make the correction. Thank you again! :)

 **Kotoko's disease, diagnosis, causes, symptoms, treatment- everything is written out of imagination which does not have any logical explanation.**

* * *

 **Painful** **Realisations**

(General POV)

When Yuki entered the sitting room, he found everyone had remained in the same posture as he left them. He hovered over the door pondering what to do. The total turn of the events since this morning was the last thing he expected. While Naoki suddenly inviting a guest over lunch was surprising, the revelation of Kotoko suffering from Neuroshia was absolutely shocking. He started to remember the times when he witnessed Kotoko being ill over the whole year.

"How can we not see how much Kotoko-chan was suffering. How can we not know she was ill?" Mrs. Irie voiced the words that was crossing Yuki's mind at the same time.

"I understand how you feel Naoki mama. But we have to be strong now. We have to take care of her." Mr. Irie said, caressing his wife's hair.

"What kind of father am I? I failed as a father in the same way I failed as a husband." Mr. Aihara howled.

"Ai-chan, don't be ridiculous. You did not fail in anything. You have raised a very strong daughter. She must have had her reasons to hide it." Mr. Irie stated.

"According to the doctors, she didn't want to worry us." Yuki said.

"Oh… Kotoko-chan, why must you suffer alone? We're your family, aren't we?" Mrs. Irie sobbed. She has been crying since the doctors left.

"Naoki mama, please be strong." Mr. Irie said sitting down beside her.

"What are we going to do now Naoki papa?" Mrs. Irie looked at her husband with red puffy eyes.

"Everything will be fine. I'm sure Naoki will do everything in his power to save Kotoko-chan. I'm sure he will find a way." Mr. Irie tried to console his wife.

"I wish she didn't hide it for so long. I wish she would let us be there for her." Mr. Aihara gulped.

"Oji-san, it's never too late. We will start from today. We will be with her starting from now." Yuki declared.

"He is right Ai-chan. In order to be with her, we have to be strong." Mr. Irie said.

Mr. Aihara nodded in agreement. He took long deep breaths to calm his senses.

Yuki decided to bring water for the adults. He went into the kitchen. His eyes fell on the lunch table set outside. He sighed. He went back to the sitting room with water and poured water to all the adults. After that he went into their back-yard and cleaned the lunch table. No one would want to eat lunch under the current circumstances for sure.

He returned into the sitting area again and sat down on a sofa. He was mentally cursing himself for not noticing anything till now.

 _Oni-chan wasn't home but I was. How can I not notice anything at all? Baka Yuki._

"I wonder how oni-chan is coping up." He mumbled in an audible tone. Everyone looked into his direction but nobody answered. They all were pondering on the same thing.

...

Naoki was seated beside the sleeping Kotoko. He was still struggling to breathe normally. His heart was hammering and he was really thirsty. But he didn't want to leave Kotoko for one moment right now so he remained seated. No one can fathom the amount of guilt he was experiencing. His heart was very heavy. He softly took Kotoko's hand on his right hand and put his other one on top of it. He read a few reports in Kobe and Dr. Ayano already emailed the rest 10 minutes ago. He saw the email notification but couldn't bring himself to check those out just yet. He doesn't know why… but he just couldn't.

...

(Naoki POV)

Finally I mastered up the courage and got up. I turned on the laptop to check my email. It was indeed an email from Dr. Ayano. I took a long breath and started reading the reports. He had sent me all the reports containing all the details that were found out until now. I opened the first document. It's her first diagnosis report. I went through them carefully, taking in every detail. She had started her treatment as soon as she started working in the hospital like Dr. Ayano said.

I faintly remember her mentioning about the Neuroshia patient during that time. It's pathetic how I never realised! Why did I ever not notice? I should have paid more attention to her words. I should have inquired more about her work. I should have given more priority to my wife over anything else. I should have visited home at least once...

It seems that she inherited Neuroshia from her mother because her mother had Neuroshia when she was pregnant with Kotoko. But then why her father never suspected it? It felt strange. Maybe otou-san didn't understand about the disease when her mother had it. This disease was barely recognised in Japan during that time. He is going to feel bad about it. I sighed.

Kotoko was diagnosed immediately after her symptom's started to appear. This is the only piece of information which made me feel a little relief. At least she didn't ignore her symptoms and immediately acted upon them. Well, I could expect no less from her as she is herself a nurse.

 _Only I wish if she had found me worthy enough to share her sufferings too._ My heart pierced very sharply at the thought. I had to inhale a deep breath to bring my focus back on the screen.

She was in her first stage when she started the treatment. The treatment went smooth until the last 2 months. The problems that started to appear after that were listed and also their possible treatment procedure was also suggested. If they fail the next therapy she will enter her second stage.

I already know about the stages of Neuroshia. The last few days, I had spent all my spare time reading about the disease. According to the USA survey, the second stage lasts longer than the first and the last stages. The 3rd stage which is the last one is the shortest. This means there is almost no hope once the patient crosses the 2nd stage.

She is about to enter the second stage. A very vulnerable stage. She must be feeling a million times worse than I am feeling. I shivered.

I suddenly remembered about her mentioning about the stages of Neuroshia on the week before I left to Kobe for the conference. So she really did try to tell me about it. But then she fainted, probably due to stress. I banged my hand hard on the table feeling frustrated. I shouldn't have waited for her to open up. I was oblivious and left her to suffer right in front of my eyes. This matter is too hard for her to explain. But she did try. I felt slightly relaxed only for a fraction of a moment before I realised she never tried that earlier.

 _Why now?_ Why not immediately after she found out? She was not someone to keep a secret from me. And on top a secret this big? What could be the reason that she kept it to herself? What stopped her from sharing it with me? She even kept it a secret from the entire family just to make sure I don't find out. Even to the extent of making a contract with her doctors banning them from the authority to contact her family! _Just why?_

This cannot be only because she did not want to worry me... or hurt me. Because her not sharing her burdens with me is more hurtful. The fact that she suffered from it alone for so long is really unendurable. Does she not know how much she means to me? Does she not realise that not being a part of her pain is unbearable. The feeling is so painful that it suffocates from the inside.

Yuki told me yesterday that she started working on the longer shifts after the discovery of her allergic problem. In other words, she started avoiding the family so they wouldn't notice her side effects. She has quite a few of them according to her reports. I quickly analysed the summery.

Dizziness... Muscle stiffness and pain... Vomiting... Body swelling... Breathing problem... Fever... Headache... weak pulse and low blood pressure... Fainting... What? Now that is not just a few! I simply stared at the report unable to think properly.

How did she go through all of this _alone_?

Moreover, the less chances of baby conceiving? She endured the news of the heart-breaking possibility all _alone?_ She... out of all people on this planet had to go through this _alone_? When she loves the children? When she loves the idea of being a mother... mother of my child? But she had to be told that she might never become a mother? She... She had to withstand that pain... all _alone!_

 _Why?_

Without a warning the answer knocked me in my brain. My heart nearly stopped.

 _Because I was never there for her._

I was never there for her in her need. I had no idea what she had to go through the entire year, not because she didn't tell me, but because I never tried to find out. I knew it instantly when she started to share less with me. I knew it when she got so busy that her calls were getting less and less to the point of extinction. But I did not try to find out the reason. I did not ponder on it for more details. I was never worried about her to the point where I would leave everything behind and return to find out what was going on with her until a few weeks ago.

Rather I assumed things which were far away from the truth. Things that seems totally absurd now.

I felt sweat dripping from my head and my whole body was shaking. I felt cold and drained out of all the energy. I rested my forehead on the table and tried to calm my senses. But I failed miserably. Something inside me was snapping, as if my heart was breaking and I could feel each and every crack.

I don't know how much time has passed since I wasn't exactly aware of my surroundings. But I was alert enough to hear Kotoko stirring behind me. I jumped to my feet and rushed to her.

"Kotoko..." I called out.

She opened her eyes and looked up at me. Her eyes slowly tears up. I stood still looking back at her. Once her tears started to flow down I went near her and sat on the bed. My own hands were shaking but I wiped the tears off her face using my fingers and shook my head indicating her not to cry. My throat was dry and hurting and it was difficult to speak. But I managed to say the only word that was torturing me.

"Why?"

She closed her eyes and didn't speak anything. She kept crying silently and I kept looking feeling very tight around the chest. After a while she opened her eyes and tried to sit up. I helped her to sit and put a pillow behind her so she could lean on it. But instead of leaning back she moved forward and hugged me. My body was still shaking slightly due to the lack of energy and I stiffed at first.

But soon I relaxed in her embrace and pulled her closer burying my face in her hairs.

"Why? Just why Kotoko?" My voice broke.

She still didn't answer. I held her even more tightly. Probably I was hurting her but I couldn't let go of her. I was afraid to break the embrace… afraid to meet her eyes.

"Why did you have to go through all this alone? Why did it have to happen?" I gulped. "Why... I... I never even realised... I..." I felt loss of words.


	26. Chapter 26- Breaking Down

**Breaking Down**

(General POV)

Kotoko pulled back and saw her own guilt multiplied thousand times and reflected on Naoki's eyes. The eyes that she has always seen to be shinning were empty except from the guilt right now. The hands that she has always found strong were now shaking in her hands. The Irie Naoki who was always calm and composed was now in the verge of breaking down in front of her. She felt her breath caught in her throat.

"Irie-kun... I am so sorry Irie-kun."

"You shouldn't be the one to say that. It's my fault that I failed to make you trust me or to reach out to me in your need. It's my fault that you did not find me worthy enough to share your pain… your... your illness..."

Kotoko who was shaking her head right to left vigorously while he was speaking, put a hand on his mouth to stop him saying any further.

"Irie-kun, don't say that. You never failed me in anything. Nothing was your fault." She cupped his face and pulled his face closer to plant a kiss on his forehead. He closed his eyes as he felt her lips on his forehead. She again hugged him moving closer.

"Please don't ever think any of it was your fault. It's not your fault that I'm ill. I just didn't want to come in your way. You were doing an important thesis at Kobe. If I have told you, knowing you, you would have left everything behind and returned straight back home with me that night. I just didn't want to take your dream away from you." She said softly.

"You clearly don't know what means _everything_ to me then. You clearly never realized that you are everything to me. Everything that I ever dream about. You're everything that I care about. Everything that I..." He stopped dead and stiffened in her embrace. Everything she just said finally sunk in to him and he realized something finally.

 _She... She did try to tell me after all. She did want to tell me._

 _That night... In Kobe... It was around the time when she was diagnosed according to the dates on her reports. That... that white file... that white file..._

"Irie-kun?" Kotoko slightly pulled back to look at him to understand why he stopped speaking or got stiffened.

"That... white file... in Kobe that night... What was the content inside?" He asked the question dreading the answer.

Kotoko immediately realized the mistake of mentioning about that night. She tried to cover it up quickly.

"That was about the nursing stuff. Just an excuse to see you. Nothing important." She completely forgot that she told him earlier it was her Neuroshia patients reports she wanted him to see.

Naoki slowly pulled away further from her warm embrace. He stared blankly for a short moment then got up from the bed. He was palpitating. His lungs seemed to get deprived of oxygen as his breathing became more uneven.

 _Reports of her Neuroshia patient... It was her reports!_

Naoki swallowed hard. Memories of that night started to flood back in his mind.

.

 _*** 'Irie-kun, are you busy? You didn't reply my calls.'_

 _'Of course I'm busy Kotoko! What do you think I'm doing here? Did you check the time? If you were going to come why didn't you come in the day?' …_

 _…_ _'Umm... I needed to do an assignment.'_

 _'Great. So you have done your study. What about my exam? Didn't I tell you I have exam from tomorrow?'_

 _'I just needed you to see this.'_ That white file!

 _'Which part of do not disturb me with the unnecessary things during my exams did you not understand Kotoko? I clearly told you my exams were coming and that too will start from tomorrow. You arrive at my door step this late, in the night before my exams and you expect me to help you with those... whatever they are? Yes I know I don't answer much of your calls. But do you think I'm just fooling around here? I'm working hard and studying at the same time so that I can finish all my work here as soon as I can to return to Tokyo. But look at you. What are you doing? You promised me you will do everything you need to do to pass your exams and get here. But you still fail your tests and instead of staying home studying you are wasting your time here.' ***_

 _._

No no no no no... Please no... Please tell me I didn't say those harsh things to her that night... When she went to tell me about her condition. No. Naoki closed his eyes, shaking his head in denial of his own memory and stepped back.

"Irie-kun?" Kotoko called out and started to get down from the bed too.

.

 _*** 'Irie-kun this is...'_

 _'No excuses Kotoko. I don't want to see you in Kobe again unnecessarily. You said you were okay with me moving here. You said you wanted me to do well in my career. You said you will come around on your holidays. You promised you will study hard and pass your national exam within this year.'_

 _'Irie-kun I really meant all this...'_

 _'Your current action doesn't show that. If you keep pushing yourself on my way and make me worry about you 24*7, how do you think I will do well here? You are going to be a nurse. You need to start to think by yourself. You need to do your works on your own. You need to be independent to let others depend on you. If you are going to be a nurse, all your patients are going to depend on you. Do you understand how serious this is? If you think this profession is a joke then you should give up immediately. You are going to be dealing with lives and that's not going to be a joke. Do you understand?' ***_

 _._

No please no. Please I never meant to say any of it. Please let me take it back. Let me turn back to that time. Let me erase those moments. Let me remove the pain I made you go through. Naoki stepped back further fisting his hands.

.

 _*** 'I'm so sorry... Irie-kun. I really didn't mean to intrude.'_

 _'I will work hard from now on. I promi... well I seriously promise that again. I will start doing my works on my own. I won't ask for your help again.'_

 _'I... I actually never thought how hard you work here. Maybe because you are a genius, your hard works are taken for granted... even by me. Trust me, I will be the happiest person for the every success you achieve. I would never want to come in your way. I will try to make it up to you... for today... for every time. I am really sorry.'_

 _'These papers are not really important. I actually miss you a lot.'_

 _'Well you should get back to study. I am really sorry. You must have a headache now. Do you want coffee? Shall I make you some?' ***_

 _._

Don't say sorry. Don't be sorry. I'm not a genius. I'm just a nothing… nobody… You should not be sorry to a nothing like me. Those papers were important… a lot more worth than me. Don't put them behind me.

It was my fault. It was all my fault. I stopped her from sharing this with me. I didn't just stop her that night. I made sure with my words that she never tells me about it. I literally pushed her away from me… When she needed me, I turned my back on her. _I left her alone... to suffer…_

Coffee? She made me coffee after what I did to her. Her heavenly coffee... I drank that coffee to calm my senses not knowing what I did to her. Not knowing that I destroyed the little hope she had on me. I enjoyed her coffee while she probably died a hundred deaths that night.

Naoki's legs finally gave up and he slumped down to the ground on his knees. He wailed out in pain covering his face with his hands.

"No… no… no…" He probably uttered that hoping his memory was deceiving him. He didn't want it to be true.

Kotoko who was watching him with concern saw him finally break down completely in front of her. The thin thread inside him which was holding him together until now finally snapped. She rushed to him causing her head to become dizzy but she shook it off.

"Irie-kun... Irie-kun, are you okay?"

Naoki didn't dare to look up or reply anything. He was too ashamed... too guilty to respond anything to her. How can he meet her eyes again? How can he tell her to trust him... to count on him ever again? It's entirely _his_ fault that she had to go through all this completely alone. It's entirely _his_ fault that she had been suffering all alone. It's entirely _his_ fault that he was never there for her. Even when she reached out for him, he pushed her away harshly.

"Irie-kun..." Kotoko begged him to look at her but he refused. His hands were shaking uncontrollably at this point. Kotoko knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. When Naoki didn't look up she put her hands on his face and forced to look up at her.

"Ir... Irie-kun!" She mumbled.

Tears were filled in his eyes. The immense pain and guilt he was experiencing already now had reached to another new level. He closed his eyes when a few drops fell on his lap. Kotoko's felt her heart break seeing him in so much pain. She felt that the pain that she caused him now was nothing compared to anything he did ever.

Whenever he had hurt her in the past was always unintentional. Most of the time he didn't even realize he was hurting her because falling in love was something foreign to him. At least after they got married, he did try his best to make her happy in his own way.

But Kotoko knew from the start that the truth will hurt Naoki a lot. Probably she couldn't fathom the amount of pain he will suffer, but she knew he will suffer. Although she didn't think she will keep it quiet for so long. At the start she was determined, yes, but somewhere deep down she knew she will end up telling him within a few months. After all, she had never hidden anything from him. But once she started her fight alone... she kept going on... never stopping... never looking back... Now when she looked back... It's already over a year... Such a long time has passed and she still managed to keep it to her… keep it secret from her other half.

No wonder he was hurt. Probably he was more hurt than combining all the times that Kotoko was hurt. Probably...

"Irie-kun..." Kotoko nearly threw herself on him into a hug. He fell down on his bottom unable to balance himself with Kotoko's weight on him.

"I never meant to hurt you. At first I believed I will be cured really soon. I wanted to tell you after getting stable in the treatment. But the treatment went really fine and I kept on delaying informing you. I delayed so much that in the end I just didn't know how to confess to you anymore." She sobbed loudly.

Naoki couldn't voice any word but he didn't want Kotoko to feel bad for him anymore so he hugged her tightly and patted her back trying to sooth her pain.

"Don't… don't say anything… You don't have to be sorry for anything." He finally managed to say in a broken voice.

"Irie-kun…" More tears spilled from her eyes.

"You tried to tell me at Kobe. It was I, who closed my eyes and didn't see your pain. It's all my fault." He gulped.

"No Irie-kun… Please, please don't blame yourself."

"I'm here… I'm here now. I'm here for you. I will always be with you. I will never leave you alone again. I promise you Kotoko." He pulled away and looked right into her tearful eyes. His own eyes were still teary.

"You promised me before you will never leave me. You can't ever break that. And today I promise you that I will never let you break that promise."

Kotoko smiled very softly while tears never stopped falling.

"I will do whatever it takes and defeat everything that threatens to separate you from me. I will never let anything to take you away from my side."

Kotoko didn't need Naoki to tell her specifically to understand that he was talking about Neuroshia. She cupped his face removing the traces of his tears using her fingers.

"I love you Kotoko. I love you so much." Naoki's eyes were moist.

Kotoko slid even more close to him and smashed her lips on his in a kiss. Naoki immediately kissed her back. They kissed each other passionately from deep inside their heart. They put all the hope… all the despair… craving… need… frustration… sadness… and every other possible emotions that they were feeling right at that moment into their kiss. They kissed showing how much they needed each other. They kissed trying to sooth each other. They kissed to pick up all their broken pieces and trying to put them together. They kissed like the world has ended. They kissed like there was no tomorrow. They kissed for the new beginning…

* * *

A/N: There goes the most awaited chapter.. But why do I feel soooo sad. I can't believe I'm hurting Naoki so much.. :( But again he deserves it right?

And everyone- I really can't thank you enough. You guys are wonderful. You really inspire me and make me want to write more. Thank you sooo much really.. :)


	27. Chapter 27- Guidance and Reassurance p1

**A/N:** Wow I cant even express how happy I am honestly. Thank you so much everyone. I feel like jumping around reading all the reviews.. :D :D :D

I'm kind of having a busy week and might delay the update of the next one or chapters. I'm sorry in advance. Enjoy this one!

* * *

 **Guidance and Reassurance (part one)**

(General POV)

Naoki tried hard to stay strong. It wasn't the time to break down. It was the time to fight. To defeat the force that was threatening the love of his life. Yes, he would fight, he decided. He would fight and win the war. Nothing can take Kotoko away from him. Nothing, until he is by her side.

He started working from that night. He kept reading and analysing all her reports. All previous treatments and upcoming changes those are required. He started to study all the available information about each and every Neuroshia patients that were collected by their team. About those who survived and those who didn't. What went wrong in their treatments and possibilities of what would have happened if something different was tried. He analysed all the different theories and different outcomes.

He discussed about her treatment with their parents and decided to go to Hope in the next morning. Dr. Ayano would wait for him in the hospital. Kotoko was already half asleep in the bed when he joined her. He pulled her in his arms as soon as he lay down. That night after a really long time, Kotoko slept in his arms embracing him. A peaceful sleep. A nightmare less sleep.

...

(Kotoko POV)

A warm feeling was spread throughout my body. My heart was less burdened. A smile crept in my lips as sunlight hit on my body through the bedroom window. I slowly woke up.

Wait! Is that an arm that is holding around my waist? Is that a _neck_ that my lips are almost touching? Is that a body that I'm tightly holding onto as if my life is depended upon it?

 _Irie-kun!_

I stiffened immediately. Why are we in this position? At least we both have our clothes on. I sighed. I thought harder and the events of the previous day hit me like the lightening. _He found out… everything!_

Well at least he doesn't hate me for hurting him so much. It was all wrong. I was so wrong. I shouldn't have hidden anything from him from the start. What was I thinking when I thought I would be fine without getting him involved. I should have known he would choose me not because I'm a burden but because I'm _more important_ to him. And it was the right thing for him to do. After all I'm his life partner. His wife. Why didn't I see it before?

And now I have hurt him so much. I even led him to think that I didn't trust him. I didn't find him worthy enough to share my pain. No! How can you even think that Irie-kun? How can I not trust you, when you are everything that I have?

I tried to do what I thought was right. I tried so hard not to hurt Irie-kun but ended up hurting him even more. Screw you Kotoko! Why do you even try? Nothing you do end up being right and instead you always bring more trouble for him. See what you did now? How are you going to make him recover from this? How are you going to put him back together? He is already broken and there's more that he is yet to know.

Dr. Ayano didn't tell him about conceiving problems did he? Damn it, I don't even know how much he knows. But he read all my reports so he probably knew everything about my condition. But what about our parents? How much they know? How am I going to face them now? They must be feeling so hurt. Irie-kun wasn't home but they were. Dr. Ayano was correct. I was right in front of them and I was dying and they didn't even have a clue. Undoubtedly they are devastated. How will I make it up to them?

I clenched on Irie-kun's shirt. I didn't dare to move until now in case I woke him up. He worked till late night and was exhausted when he slept. But he stirred as I grabbed his shirt and I stilled.

"Good morning." He said, moving his hand onto my hair from my waist.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" I asked him looking up at him.

"I did." He said. I could tell he was inhaling my scent as his breaths send shivers down my spine.

"Your arm must be hurting." I attempted to move away as I practically slept the entire night on his arm. He pulled me in his arms as soon as he joined me on the bed. I woke up but didn't resist him.

"Stay." He stopped me holding me tighter in his arms. "Stay with me."

I froze. The desperation pierced through me. Immediately I relaxed and hugged him back.

"It was wrong to hide anything from you. It's not that I don't trust you. Actually after I found out the whole truth, I was too scared and messed up everything. I was afraid I will ruin your life." I said softly.

Irie-kun moved his face lower and kissed on my forehead.

"You didn't have to go through it all alone Kotoko. My life? It will be ruined if only you are not a part of it. Otherwise my life is always perfect… with you."

My heart melted when I heard him. Irie-kun… Did he just say what I think he just said? It was heart-touching. A smile broke in my lips and I looked up at him pulling away slightly.

He looked down at me and smiled back. Then pulled me up and kissed me. It was a very gentle kiss. It was heart-warming. I kissed him back holding tightly.

We stayed in each other's arms for a while silently, enjoying the moment. After a while I pulled away and asked him the question that was bugging me.

"Umm… Irie-kun?"

"Hm?"

"Did… did Dr. Ayano explain everything to you? I saw you going through the reports yesterday night."

"Yes, he did."

"Then… you must know that… I... might not ever… I…"

"You will get fully cured Kotoko. Just wait until then. You will have a full recovery and then you will have a baby. You will become a mother. Mother of my child." With that he again planted a kiss on my forehead.

I looked at his face as tears formed in my eyes. My heart felt so much lighter.

"Irie-kun…"

"Trust me Kotoko. You will."

"Yes… yes I will. After all you are with me. I trust you. I love you Irie-kun. I love you so so so much." I hugged him again.

"I love you too Mrs. Irie."

A huge grin spread across my face when he said that.

He caressed through my hairs for a while. Then he traced his finger on my eyes and nose. I closed my eyes in bliss.

"Kotoko…" He sounded uncertain.

"Hm?" I opened my eyes and looked at him with question.

"Your mother was suffering from Neuroshia before you were born. This is why you have it. Your father probably doesn't know it, does he?"

I jerked and sit up. Oh no… I totally forgot about that part. Oka-san did not want otou-san to know about it. What do I do?

"Did Dr. Ayano tell you that?"

"No, I merely assumed. Dr. Ayano said it wasn't related to your condition so they will leave it up to you to tell us. I assumed it seeing your initial reports."

"I… I don't know if I should let otou-san know about this. After all oka-san didn't want."

"Hiding things hurts more than the truth Kotoko."

I flinched when I heard him say that. He just voiced unintentionally what I did to him and what he was feeling right now.

"I… I…" I tried to speak but he spoke interrupting me.

"You don't have to be sorry anymore." He squeezed my hand to assure me.

"Otou-san will be so much hurt." I said in a small voice.

"I'm sure he will understand that your mother didn't want to give you up. She was already pregnant when she was diagnosed right?"

"Yes."

"The doctors during that time didn't know that the child will also inherit the disease. If they knew then they would have suggested abortion."

"They did suggest. They weren't sure that I will inherit but they assumed I might. But oka-san knew there was no hope for her. With me or without me. So she chose to leave me with otou-san." My voice became very dry as I said that.

Irie-kun patted my back. I continued. I told him all the details about my oka-san's condition.

"How do I tell him that Irie-kun?"

"Do you want me to do that for you?" He asked me softly.

"You will?" I asked him. Then I laughed.

"What's so funny?" He frowned.

"It seems like I'm making others do all the explanations instead of me."

"But you're suffering more than anyone else."

"I hope everyone will be fine. I hope everyone will forgive me for hurting them."

"Everyone is worried about you. No one is angry for anything."

"I know." I sighed. "Help me tell this to otou-san. I will probably mess up."

"You won't." He assured me.


	28. Chapter 28- Guidance and Reassurance p2

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone.. I really appreciate it.. I'm sorry for the delay but I'm busy with work.. Please bear it with me.. :)

* * *

 **Guidance and Reassurance (part two)**

(General POV)

With the mind-set to encounter another round of heart-breaking confrontation, Naoki and Kotoko descended the stairs. Their fathers and Yuki were having breakfast and Mrs. Irie was in the kitchen.

"Good morning everyone." Kotoko mumbled.

"Good morning." They all chorused back.

"You okay?" Her father asked her.

"Absolutely." She replied but that didn't seem to make anyone less worried.

 _No one is going to believe that anymore. I literally changed the meaning of 'I'm okay'._ She mentally cursed herself.

"I'll go and see what oka-san is doing." With that she moved towards the kitchen.

She had personally apologised to everyone yesterday night for hiding everything. Undeniably they were hurt but they all assured her not to worry about anything and everything will be fine.

Her father and Mrs. Irie cried their hearts out hugging her. They told her she should have reached out to them. Also they were sorry for not noticing anything until now. Kotoko repeatedly apologized and promised them that she will never hide anything ever. Mr. Irie assured her that they will always be with her so she doesn't need to suffer alone.

Yuki on the other hand scolded her. He was the only one who fired out everything he was feeling. In the end, he reminded her that they were her family. She should depend on her family rather than fighting alone. She is precious to her family and they all care about her. Initially Kotoko appreciated that he was scolding because she deserved to be scolded and nobody else did that. But Yuki's last words brought tears in her eyes. But she smiled through them and promised she will always remember that.

"Oka-san, good morning." She greeted as she entered the kitchen.

"Good morning Kotoko-chan. How are you doing today?"

She wanted to repeat what she told the others but stopped when she remembered that won't work anymore.

"Better than yesterday oka-san." She replied instead.

"That's good. I cooked porridge for you. Here try some." She blew on a spoonful of porridge to cool it down and held it near Kotoko's mouth for her to try it. Kotoko took some in her mouth.

"It's delicious oka-san. I love it."

Mrs. Irie smiled delightedly at her. Kotoko smiled back.

.

They both joined the others for breakfast a while later. Mrs. Irie and Kotoko chattered about as usual stuffs while the men ate their food quietly. After cleaning up the breakfast table when everyone was done, Kotoko and Mrs. Irie went to the sitting room where the others were waiting for them. Naoki wanted to discuss matters with them all.

"What happened Naoki?" His mother asked him taking a seat next to Yuki while Kotoko went and sat near her father.

"Dr. Ayano already explained how the therapy works yesterday to you all." He replied looking at his mother, stating about the conversation they had with Dr. Ayano right after Kotoko fainted in the lunch time the previous day. "But we will make a few changes which will require her to stay longer in the hospital. She will be staying over in the hospital for more than two days from now on during therapy. At least a week, more or less."

"Yes, that's fine. I will take care of her foods and cloths." His mother replied.

Kotoko on the other hand was wondering why Naoki was not talking about what he was supposed to talk and was shocked at what she heard him say next.

"Otou-san suggested Kotoko should stop working at the hospital last night." Naoki looked at Kotoko's father.

"What?" She practically gaped at her father.

"You get too tired due to the work. You need to rest."

"I take plenty of it at the hospital during work otou-san. I will get sicker if I rest all the time." She protested.

"I will agree with you only if you promise not to overwork yourself and be honest about your condition all the time." Naoki told her.

"I promise you that." She did not waste a second to answer that.

But the adults were not satisfied and it was vivid on their faces. They seem to think it will stress out her more.

"I talked to Dr. Ayano regarding that. He assured Kotoko works like a volunteer or part-timer whatever you may call it, with some payment. But her work is limited and always under observation. They don't take any risk with her. They took her in because that way she would be under observation all the time. Besides, I'm going to be working on the same team so I will keep an eye on her." Naoki tried to assure them.

"Then I'm sure she will be fine." Mr. Aihara stated.

"If you are sure then fine Naoki." His mother added.

"Thank you everyone. Thank you Irie-kun." Kotoko visibly relaxed. It will be a torture for her to rest all the time and not working at all.

"Otou-san there is something else Kotoko's doctors came across while investigating her disease." Naoki directed his words towards Mr. Aihara.

"What is it Naoki-kun?"

"Oka-san..." he started to answer looking at him but stopped and clarified, "I mean Kotoko's mother had an early pregnancy complexity which led her to have Neuroshia."

"Yes, the doctor said that while we found out about it. But we found out after Kotoko was born."

"Kotoko has the same disease because her mother had it when she was pregnant with Kotoko." Naoki said.

"Oh…" He was surprised at this piece of information. "I didn't know anything about Neuroshia, if I knew maybe we could have done something…" He started to feel guilty. How can he be so careless?

"Otou-san, if someone is pregnant and has Neuroshia, then there is 80% chance that the baby inherits it. There was nothing you could have done because you only found out after she was born. Kotoko also found out about it in her initial stage so she wasn't late to start her treatment."

"That's… that's a small relief." He mumbled in a dry voice. Kotoko squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"Neuroshia didn't have a cure back then. The doctors could only provide medicines to prevent the side effects and keep the patient healthy for longer than the patient would without any treatment at all. But there was no chance that the patient would survive." Naoki stopped.

"Naoki what are you trying to say?" His father asked.

Naoki hesitated. Kotoko gripped her father's hand tightly. Naoki took a deep breath and blurted out.

"Oka-san was diagnosed with Neuroshia before Kotoko was born. As you know, Neuroshia treatment requires aborting the child. She found out in her early stage but seeing she wouldn't live much longer, she decided to keep Kotoko instead of starting her treatment. She didn't know that Kotoko might inherit the disease. She didn't tell you about this because she didn't want you to choose between your wife and daughter. She confessed all this to her doctor who first diagnosed her and she left a document about it." Naoki stopped.

 _Silence_... ... ...

The whole room remained pin drop silent. No one uttered a single word. Each member of his family was silently processing his words.

Finally Mr. Aihara managed to talk.

"What... did you say?"

"Otou-san... I'm really really sorry..." Kotoko said with guilt.

Mr. Aihara looked at his daughter's face but remained quiet. He was too shocked to say anything at all.

"How did you find that out Naoki?" His father asked him. But it was Kotoko who replied.

"I told him this morning. When I first found out about my condition, I did some digging about my mother seeing it was connected to my condition. I went to the hospital where oka-san was diagnosed to get more information which I provided to Dr. Shinju. Then Dr. Shinju found out more information on their research database. Apparently oka-san's doctor left a document about it."

 _More silence..._

"So... so... Etsuko didn't trust me after all."

Kotoko heard her father utter the same words that her husband did. She didn't know which was more hurtful.

"It's not that she didn't trust you otou-san. She didn't want to hurt you."

"She didn't trust me with her decision. She didn't trust me with her burdens." Tears formed in Mr. Aihara's eyes but he held them back with difficulty.

Naoki heard his father-in-law voice his feelings and felt sorry for him. No one better than him understood what his father-in-law was going through right now.

"Otou-san, oka-san chose Kotoko over her life... and even you. She didn't give up on herself for nothing." He said softly.

"I understand why she did what she did. But I still can't forgive myself for being so ignorant. I did not even realize what she was going through. What kind of husband am I?"

Naoki couldn't reply to that. He was also wondering about the same thing himself.

"Otou-san, I am so sorry." She hugged her father. "I wish I was never born." Her tears soaked Mr. Aihara's shirt.

Mr. Aihara widens his eyes when he heard his daughter.

"Oh Kotoko-chan..." Mrs. Irie mumbled sadly.

Naoki took in a sharp breath and just sat rigidly staring at his wife. She was blaming herself even for that? Seriously?

"Kotoko..." Mr. Aihara pulled away from his daughter and looked into her eyes. "Don't ever blame yourself for that. Not everything that goes wrong is your fault. How did you even get to think that it's your fault? It was not your decision and certainly _not_ your fault."

"Otou-san... I... I don't even know what to think. Oka-san... Oka-san could have lived longer if she didn't keep me. She probably didn't want you to be alone."

"Kotoko, I cannot imagine my life without you in it for a single moment. Your mother did the right thing keeping you. She gave me the best gift of this whole world. You are very precious to me. My only daughter... My entire world. Don't blame yourself for anything ever again. Don't regret for being my daughter."

"I don't regret it. I never regretted it. You are the best father of this whole world. I love you so much otou-san. Please don't get hurt. I am sorry for what I did. I am sorry for what oka-san did."

"You never cease to amaze me of how exceptionally similar you are to your mother. You did the same thing your mother did. After all, you _are_ your mother's daughter." He said trying to sound lighter but failing miserably.

"True, we are. But I didn't mean to hide it for so long. Believe me everyone."

"We know Kotoko-chan. Stop feeling so bad dear." Mrs. Irie walked over to her and gave her a hug. "You have been through a lot. You really are a brave woman. You didn't give up and kept fighting. I'm really proud that you are my daughter." She said in a soothing voice.

"Thank you so much oka-san." Kotoko smiled at her when they broke the hug.

"We are here for you now. You don't have to feel alone anymore. We are in it together."

"I never felt alone oka-san. I knew you all were with me all the time."

"Kotoko-chan, I understand why you hid your illness. I did that once too remember? But I ended up being ill even more." Mr. Irie referred to the time when he had a heart attack which led Naoki to take the decision to marry Sahoko.

"Nothing went right after that until Naoki & you got married. I learnt one thing during that time. Family is the most important thing in a person's life. Not the business... not the money... not the career. All we need is the support of our family and stay strong together. I'm sure you and Naoki also understand this now." He looked from one to another.

"Yes..." Kotoko agreed with a soft smile while Naoki only nodded.

"My whole family is too secretive for their own good. I nearly forgot he did that too." Mrs. Irie huffed. "I'm warning you all. If I find out anyone hiding anything again, I'll hunt you till the end of the time and I mean it." She folded her arms.

Mr. Aihara, Mr. Irie and Kotoko laughed loudly. Naoki chuckled softly and Yuki looked outraged. He had remained silent during the entire conversation but now spoke up.

"You don't plan on giving up your detective antics anytime soon, do you?" He asked his mother.

"Spot-on son. Not a chance" Mrs. Irie grinned.

Yuki shook his head while the others laughed again.

"I need to go and see Dr. Ayano. I will see you all in the afternoon." Naoki left the house after that.


	29. Chapter 29- Friends Forever

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for waiting patiently for the update. I'm so busy these days that it left me exhausted and no time to write with a clear head. I don't want to mess up the story so I'm taking it slow. I'll update at least once a week, every Tuesday or Wednesday. Please bear it with me. Thank you.. :)

* * *

 **Friends Forever**

(Kotoko POV)

The Sunday afternoon was warm. But I was slightly feeling cold. Probably my blood pressure was too law. I was sitting inside a booth at the Aihara. The whole booth was silent. Well it wasn't something that I wasn't expecting. Jinko and Satomi stared at me, dumbfounded. Kin-chan was breathing very fast and Chris was patting his arm while looking at me with concern.

I came to Aihara with otou-san. I invited Jinko and Satomi at the restaurant and asked otou-san to excuse Kin-chan and Chris for an hour.

I have just spilled the beans to them. I have hidden everything for too long. It was enough now. I finally understand that the people who consider you important and care about you the most shouldn't be deceived by you. But I did what I shouldn't have and now I would do everything that is right and make it up to them.

"What were you thinking?" Kin-chan retorted angrily.

"I'm sorry everyone. I don't even know how to express how sorry I am to you all right now."

"Kotoko you… you have been enduring everything alone for the entire time?" Satomi asked in astonishment. She had tears in her eyes.

"After I started having my treatment, I got so busy that I hardly had time to think over everything and time just went by."

It was true. I was so busy over the whole year that I hardly had time to see my friends. We only met occasionally. I met Kin-chan and Chris only when I visited the restaurant. Satomi was busy with her kid and Jinko with her career.

"Oh Kotoko… you silly girl." Jinko got up and hugged me form the side. Satomi also joined the hug from my other side. They were both crying.

"It must have been so hard for you." Satomi patted on my back.

"Kotoko, you did not even tell Naoki?" Chris asked in a low voice.

"I…" I sighed. How do I explain this to them?

"He must have been a jerk and didn't care about you. This is why you didn't tell him, isn't it?" Kin-chan still sounded angry. Actually I could tell that he was really hurt. He was just trying to be tough and sound angry so that he wouldn't cry.

"No Kin-chan. That's not true. He loves me more than I ever imagined. He loves me so much and I broke his heart. He is so heart-broken now. I don't even know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have hidden anything from the start." I voiced everything I was feeling to my best buddies. I needed it all out.

"Aww sweetheart, I'm sure he will understand that you didn't want to worry him." Chris got up saying that and gave me a hug.

"He is going to feel even more worried now. He will feel guilty and he will suffer for the rest of his life now. You made sure he sees through himself by doing that Kotoko." Kin-chan brutally said. He was finally trying to calm himself with inhaling deep breaths.

I felt so bad when I heard him say that and my eyes teared up. Chris slapped on Kin-chan's shoulder feeling irritated by the lack of his tact.

"Don't make her cry Kinnosuke." All three girls glared at him. He pouted at the mad girls but immediately paled and probably regretted his words when tears fell from my eyes.

"Kotoko…" He rushed to me pushing away the other girls. "Don't' cry!" He sounded horrified. He never wants to make me cry. That's him.

"Well, what you did was not right. Although it would teach that Irie a good lesson for neglecting his wife I might add…" He stopped abruptly when three hands punched on different parts of his body and they chorused.

"Kin-chan!"

"Kinnosuke!"

"Kin-chan!"

"Alright… alright… What I meant to say is, we all love you Kotoko. And no matter how much we love you, I'm sure Irie loves you the most. So what I want you to know and remember is- that you are or were never alone. We are always with you." Kin-chan said seriously.

A smile broke into my lips slowly. He was really genuine. Kin-chan is a great friend. How can he be so nice?

"Don't worry at all. This Neu… um… Neuro… Neuro-whatever is nothing for you." Jinko wiped my tears and continued. "Remember who you are! Aihara Kotoko from class F who made it to the top 100 list at your final year at high school. You are not someone who scores below average when you put your mind to it. You straight create history girl." Jinko exclaimed enthusiastically.

"You are even a nurse now. Scratch that. You made Irie Naoki fall head over heels for you. You create miracles!" Satomi added with equally enthusiastic tone.

I grinned broadly at them. They are so adorable and they trust me so much. I felt really warm and inspired.

"Besides, you have a knight in shining armour Kotoko. I won't even bother to get worried about you as long as Naoki is beside you to look after you." Chris said brightly.

I smiled at her. I know what she means. I also feel so relived now that he is by my side.

"I know Chris. I have my full faith on him. He won't let anything happen to me. He will even fight the impossible and make it possible I know."

I was again in tears. But these were tears of joy. I was feeling so happy. I was the luckiest girl on this planet blessed with some wonderful friends. They were all afraid inside, I know that. They were also sad. But they were with me and that's all I needed.

All four of them hugged me in unison and I laughed out loud in their embrace.

...

(General POV)

It was 10 pm. the last customers of the Aihara just left. Mr. Aihara wanted to close early tonight. Kin-chan & Chris were also nearly done with their works. Suddenly the restaurant door opened despite the closed sign at the door.

"Sorry but we are closed for… Oh…" Mr. Aihara stopped when he saw his childhood friend walking in.

"Ai-chan, you are already closing for today?"

"Yes…" He sighed. "What would you like me to get for you?"

"Anything you feel like eating. I'm sure you skipped your dinner tonight." Mr. Irie said in a soft voice.

"I don't feel like eating anything."

"Then how about some beer?" Mr. Irie asked.

"That can be arranged." Mr. Aihara went inside into the kitchen.

"Kinnosuke, Chris, you two may go home for tonight. I will close the restaurant before I leave." He instructed them.

"Okay boss. Umm… take care." Kin-chan added softly before departing.

Mr. Aihara took out a few beers and returned to join Mr. Irie who was sitting on a stool in front of the counter.

They both started to drink slowly and silently. It was a peaceful silence. After a while Mr. Aihara exhaled loudly.

"Ai-chan, don't blame yourself too much. For Kotoko and for sister-in-law."

Mr. Aihara drank a sip and remained quiet for half a minute.

"How can I stop blaming myself Iri-chan? This is the only thing I can do now. If I even stop doing that, what else is left for me to do?"

Mr. Irie didn't know what to answer. He sighed sadly. He knows he cannot even imagine what his friend was feeling at the moment. The feeling of desperation. The feeling of falling apart.

"You understand why sister in law did what she did right?"

"I don't care why she did it anymore. I can't forgive myself for being so blind. She was dying right in front of my eyes Iri-chan… and I did not even realise." His voice broke.

Mr. Irie patted on his shoulder trying to sooth his friend. Mr. Aihara gulped and continued.

"My daughter… my only daughter is also dying in front of my eyes…" He stopped.

"Kotoko-chan will fully recover Ai-chan, don't even think about losing her for one moment. We are all going to look after her together until she is cured fully. She is our responsibility… our daughter." He stated firmly.

Mr. Aihara nodded feeling slightly relived. At least his daughter is not alone in her fight as his wife was.

"Naoki-kun gave me a copy of the document Etsuko's doctor left. According to that Etsuko didn't even take a day to decide that she doesn't want an abortion and wanted to keep the baby, in other words she disagreed to have the treatment." He sighed.

Mr. Irie remained quiet to let his friend talk out everything.

"During that time there was no chance of curing that disease fully. She knew she will have to die in the end. So she made sure I wouldn't live the rest of my life alone. I…" He stopped. They again drank in silence for a while.

"She didn't want me to choose between my child and wife. She thought I wouldn't make a rational decision. What makes me mad is she saw right through me. I love Kotoko and she is my entire world Iri-chan. But I loved my wife too and I would have done anything to live one more minute with her. I would have sacrificed anything and everything if that meant she would stay alive for one more minute." Finally tears started to drop from his eyes.

"What does that make me Iri-chan?"

Mr. Irie got down from the stool and stood near to his friend. He put an arm around Mr. Aihara's shoulder.

"It only makes you a husband who loved his wife too much. Don't let this eat you inside. This does not make you a bad father. Kotoko-chan is lucky to have a father like you. You are the best father I have ever seen and I'm not even exaggerating. You raised a wonderful girl. You raised a very strong and courageous woman. You raised her to have a good and kind heart. I don't even know what I would have done without Noriko. Without her Naoki and Yuki wouldn't be what they are today. But you raised Kotoko-chan all alone. So do not belittle yourself as a father. I'm sure Kotoko-chan will agree with me on that."

Mr. Aihara nodded. They were silent again for a few moment. Mr. Irie went back to his previous sitting position. They drank slowly.

"Thank you Iri-chan." Mr. Aihara stated after a while.

Mr. Irie just patted on his back in answer with a soft smile which was returned.


	30. Chapter 30- New Beginning

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone for the support. I really appreciate it. Umm... my story is strongly focused on angst I guess and I honestly suck at romance.. :( I promise I will try my best to write more romantic chapters. Enjoy!

* * *

 **New Beginning**

(General POV)

Naoki was introduced to the whole Neuroshia team by Dr. Ayano on Monday. Everyone welcomed him warmly. But when he was introduced to them as Kotoko's husband, everyone was either surprised for the obvious fact that Kotoko was married to Naoki- who was undeniably one of the most intelligent person alive in japan, while the others were simply astonished due to the fact that Kotoko actually managed to hide everything from the genius successfully until now.

However, two of the Kotoko's closest people from the team were absolutely perplexed. Neither Hana nor Mio had imagined Kotoko's husband to be anything like Naoki in their wildest dreams. They always assumed him to be a mean, arrogant, good for nothing, self-centred genius who didn't give a damn about Kotoko.

Yes, they knew he was a genius and they knew Kotoko loved him blindly. They never inquired much about him to her as she seemed uncomfortable if they ever tried to bring it up and they didn't want to hurt her feelings either.

But that didn't stop them to hate him.

The whole team knew why Kotoko didn't tell her husband about her disease. Apart from Hana and Mio who always thought there was definately something more, the rest of the team believed her. Well, honestly although they were colleagues, the others didn't ponder much on this matter since it was her personal business.

But that wasn't the case for Hana and Mio. They were constantly worried about their friend's married life.

Dr. Ayano requested everyone not to question Kotoko about anything. He explicitly warned Hana and Mio to be careful and not to hurt her feelings since she was in quite a weak state right now. He explained the situation with slight details to them just to avoid any more misunderstandings which might hamper his patient's condition. But he of course discussed the whole matter with Naoki and took his permission before he did all the explanation.

Kotoko was being honest all along about not wanting to ruin her husband's future opportunities by dragging him back to Tokyo from the middle of the _'who knows on what_ ' research he was doing. On the other hand, Naoki who was immersed in his work, honestly didn't have a clue about what was going on with Kotoko and he was not an asshole like they believed him to be.

When the truth about the whole situation finally sink in to the duo, they felt sad for their friend, angry at her stupid decision and pathetic at their own carelessness.

How could they never try to find out more? They should have tried harder to change her mind. They shouldn't have jumped to the conclusion that Kotoko was doing fine without her heartless husband.

All of these thoughts frustrated them and they without even realizing, directed their frustrations towards Naoki who was the sole reason for Kotoko doing all the hidings and suffering from everything alone.

Naoki was aware of that from the moment he met their gaze. They were throwing daggers at him with their eyes. He remained silent and let them kill him over and over again with their looks, hoping they wouldn't try it practically in real and mentally noted to stay away from them for the time being when they handle anything that is close enough to a sharp object. He just wanted to make sure he wasn't stabbed until Kotoko walks out of the hospital being fully cured.

Naoki felt slightly proud and relived seeing that Kotoko had supports and great friends beside her during the entire time. That's Kotoko… his wife… a charming, adorable, easy-going person who can make friends anywhere she goes. She is like a human magnet who attracts people towards her. The thought made him smile slightly.

...

Kotoko was admited to the hospital in the next morning. Her therapy was scheduled on Wednesday. She apologised to Hana and Mio who assured her they weren't mad at her. But they refrained themselves from explaining exactly who they were angry at.

Naoki together with Dr. Ayano and Dr. Shinju had spent their times discussing on the changes that were required in the treatment. Naoki for once in his entire lifetime was truly thankful to his luck for being a genius with IQ 200. Because with that IQ, it didn't take him much long time to understand everything about Neuroshia. They changed to new medicine which was imported from USA by Dr. Ayano. He also had a meeting with his previous colleagues from the states.

There was a rare kind of problem seen recently in Kotoko's case. Perhaps this was due to the fact that she was the patient who inherited the disease rather than the disease triggering due to pregnancy complexity. She was the only patient in Japan of her kind. The other 2 patients from the last 10 years, who had Neuroshia were pregnant woman who aborted their child for the treatment.

Naoki was thinking about the whole treatment procedure while walking towards Kotoko's cabin. He stopped at the door when he heard the commotion inside her cabin.

Unware of Naoki's presence outside the door, Kotoko was laughing her head off inside with Mio who was cracking weird jokes while measuring her vitals.

"You do realize that you ruined your own luck, don't you?" Mio deadpanned.

"How so?" Kotoko was genuinely surprised.

"Honey you have ruined your chance to date the most handsome person of the town aka me. It's not anyone's but solely yours fault." Mio replied casually.

"Oh… that… I mean yes, you are right, I did. Why didn't I see it before?"

"Well, I can't do anything now. The fish is already out of the water."

"Aww… My bad. I guess I will have to bear with it then." Kotoko mocked.

"But now you will stay stuck forever with that cold hearted man that you call your husband." He sounded irritated.

"I'm more than delighted to know that." She winked at Mio.

Naoki who had curved his fingers in a fist listening to the conversation, clenched his jaw feeling suddenly irked. All the gratefulness he was feeling towards Mio flew out through the window in an instance.

"Dazed queen, you deserve so much better than him." Mio said in a serious tone and seeing the look on his face Kotoko knew he was not joking anymore.

She sighed and mumbled, "Mio, He loves me more than I love him. I came to realize it finally." Which didn't reach Naoki's ears. So he thought she remained quiet after the remark Mio did. It surprised him. Usually Kotoko tells everyone off who judges his love for her. Is she confused about his feelings? Well it wouldn't be something that he didn't deserve anyway. He skipped a heartbeat.

Naoki suddenly remembered about the night he returned from the Kobe conference and saw Kotoko walking home with someone. It was Mio who walked her home. He knew he had seen Mio somewhere before as he seemed really familiar. He was the person with who Kotoko was laughing happily. His heartbeat increased remembering her face from that night.

"Anyway, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. I'm only a call away dazed queen. I'm sure I can managed to see bo... Ouch!" He stopped when Kotoko punched him in the arm and didn't let him finish his sentence where he wanted to say how he could managed to date both Hana and Kotoko.

Well, he was joking and Kotoko knew it. No one better than her knew how much he loved Hana.

"I really don't see why I should date a monkey." Kotoko said innocently.

"Who's a monkey, dummy?" With that Mio held Kotoko's right hand and tickled her in the side of her stomach lightly. Kotoko laughed out loud and tried to push him away with her left hand.

"Mio… hehe… stop that. Argh… Mio!"

Naoki heard her shout from outside and barged in.

 _What the hell?_ His blood boiled and he felt really mad suddenly. That was the last straw. How dare _he_ tickle _her_ … _his_ wife!

"Get your hands off her." Naoki ordered through gritted teeth. But right after that he composed his face and tried to put on a blank face. But what he didn't know was that his face was still red in anger… or possibly jealousy?

Kotoko and Mio were frozen on spot as he suddenly entered and shouted out of the blue. But then released each other from their grips as soon as they saw the cold stare Naoki was giving Mio. Kotoko and Mio didn't dare to meet each other's gaze because they were scared they might burst out laughing.

"Um… Dr. Irie, here is her vitals." Mio quickly composed himself and handed over Kotoko's chart. He could still feel an angry aura radiating from Naoki.

This is going to be great. He mentally smirked.

On the other hand Kotoko was eyeing Naoki. She was amused by the fact that Naoki was irritated seeing Mio tickling her. Well Mio wasn't doing it in an inappropriate way. But Naoki didn't even bother to figure that out.

Naoki silently observed the chart then handed it back to Mio and gave him further instruction. He was nonchalant and talked to Mio as if he didn't just yelled at him.

After getting the instructions, Mio slightly nodded his head to both Naoki and Kotoko and sprinted off towards the nurse station to find Hana and fill her in about the event that just took place.

"Are you doing okay?" Naoki asked moving towards the bed.

Kotoko decided to drop the _sudden yelling and scaring her friend off_ matter for now and replied in a soft voice.

"Yes… just slightly dizzy."

Naoki again clenched his teeth remembering how Mio was tickling her. Of course she would be dizzy. She was laughing and wasting her energy way too much. Kotoko immediately knew what he had on his mind and tried to defend Mio.

"Hey… it wasn't his fault. He was just trying to cheer me up."

 _Wrong move Kotoko!_

Naoki didn't know how he should feel about it. Guilty? Irritated? Sad? Thankful? He turned away from Kotoko and took a minute to compose himself as all these emotions rushed past his feature.

When he turned back to Kotoko, he was again nonchalant.

"You should lie down. You have just taken saline. Rest for now. I will sit here with you."

Kotoko smiled at the last statement and closed her eyes to take a nap. Naoki sat down beside her and took her hand in his and kept looking at her tired face.

He wasn't exactly jealous. No. Why would he be? He knew Kotoko loved only him. But it still bothered him when someone else touched her. Someone who was a male to be precise. Doesn't matter even if it was in a friendly manner. He huffed slightly and then bent down and pecked on his wife's small pink lips lightly.

Then he stated the sentence softly yet firmly looking at his sleeping wife.

"You belong to me."


	31. Ch: 31- Memories that will haunt forever

**A/N: Ahh.. Umm.. I have no words.. Don't know what to say..**

 **Sorry sorry sorryy.. I'm just so sorry for letting you all down. Last six month... Yes I was busy with my new job which is not new anymore. But honestly I was so upset, angry and couldn't write because I used to write on an online app which went down along with my work. I lost a few chapters that I wrote and I wrote to the website that went down several times asking about it. But there were no response. Well then I kind of felt discouraged. But as I promised to some people who reached out to me asking about my story, I'm back guys. Thank you so much for waiting and loving my story. I seriously cannot thank you enough. I had a long holiday during Ramadan and I utilized it and planned my story and now I started writing it again. I might take longer than before for an update now as I didn't write for a while. Please bear it with me. I will try my best. But I promise you that I will definitely finish this story. Abandoning it- was never an option. Thank you again.**

 **Wish you all Eid Mubarak.. :)**

* * *

 **Memories that will haunt forever**

(Naoki POV)

Two weeks had already passed since the therapy. Kotoko was still admitted in the hospital. These whole two weeks passed in a blur. Things went bad to downhill and then back up the slope. In other words, after the therapy Kotoko was severely ill. She is a little bit better now but the last two weeks were a total nightmare for me. It was pure torture to see her in so much pain. It's as if someone was pricking needles in my whole body without mercy. She was a fighter. She fought hard against the pain until she fainted, only to wake up in even more pain. And as for me? I died. I died a thousand deaths. To see the love of my life struggling for her life in the hospital bed was never something I thought I would ever experience. But I had to live through it. I had to live and breathe and see her nearly lifeless body struggling for her dear life.

I cried. Yes, I cried which I thought was never possible for me until I met her. I don't even remember, how old I was the last time I shed tears like this. But now when I see her in such pain my heart wrenched and tears fell from the eyes on their own accord. I cried at my own helplessness. I cried for all the memories of my carelessness that were flooding back to me. I didn't want to show her my tears. I needed to stay strong for her and everyone at home. They all were depending on me. But they probably couldn't imagine how broken I was feeling inside. My soul was crushing. I was terrified with the fear of losing her. I couldn't imagine my life without her. It's void. It's empty without her. Everyday either I sat beside her, holding her hands when she sweated profusely for the muscle aches or I held her in my arms lying beside her on the hospital bed and wishing if I could take away all her pains. I will switch the place with her any time. I would gladly suffer in her place if that meant she was safe, she was all right.

All I wanted now is a chance. A chance to set things right. A chance to treat her well, treat her how she deserved to be treated. I won't give up until I created that chance. That is what I promised myself.

Her therapy process is changed a little and she is under more care now. After her therapy she is looking so fragile. She is thinner than ever. The doctors are still unsure of her situation though. She is not stable yet. Every minute, every hour, every day, we are looking for more accurate solutions, analysing different theories and possibilities. I am trying my best to take care of her with all the researches I am doing on Neuroshia.

I spent the nights of the last 2 weeks in the hospital with her straight. Oka-san wanted to stay behind a few number of times saying I needed rest but I didn't budge. Nothing can keep me away from her anymore. I have learnt my lesson.

...

It was 2 AM in the morning. I was resting on the spare bed in her cabin that was arranged on my request. As much as I wanted, I couldn't cuddle her while she was so weak. She needed proper rest. She was also surrounded by respiratory, cardiac and neurological monitors who continuously recorded her condition.

Suddenly the monitors broke the rhythmic beeping noise and increased the frequency of beeping by 3 times than regular. I nearly had a cardiac arrest. I jumped out of the bed pressing the emergency button which alerted Dr. Shinju and other members of the team who were on duty. I rushed at Kotoko's side. She was having breathing problems. Apparently she was not getting enough oxygen. I put the oxygen mask on her and started doing other required checkups when the door bolted open and Dr. Shinju, Hana & Mio entered the room.

Everything was a blur from that point on. I don't exactly remember how things went. I don't know who was doing what. I was only concentrating on my wife. She was having a cardiac arrest due to the lack of oxygen. I started giving her CPR. Somebody informed Dr. Ayano who arrived as soon as he can while I was doing the CPR. He just looked at me once before gently but firmly moving me and taking my position and resumed my work.

Her heart stopped working and so did my mind.

I was freaking out… hyperventilating. I was losing her… right in front of my eyes. I tried to move my feet but they seemed frozen. I have never felt so pathetic in my whole life. I kept repeating her name. I don't know if that was loud or in my mind. I didn't even realise when I started crying and I didn't care. I only removed the tears when they made my vision blurry. I didn't care that I was losing my mind which is strictly prohibited for a doctor while attending a patient. I didn't care anything in the world at all.

Dr. Ayano started doing defibrillation on her. He started with 120 joules but then kept increasing and only stopped when he reached up to 200 joules.

That's when her heart started beating again.

Finally the beating sound of her heart brought back the life inside me.

Slowly her breathing came within control and also my sense came back so I moved forward to help the others. No one tried to stop me because they knew better than to do that. Her condition was slightly better but she was senseless.

I had lost the track of time a long time ago. I had no idea for how long we were inside the cabin treating her. After what seemed like forever, there was still no improvement in her condition. But the doctors did everything they could for now. Dr. Ayano asked me to follow him out but I refused to leave her side. He didn't force me so Dr. Shinju followed him out. Hana and Mio also remained in the cabin with me to watch over her.

After nearly 20 minutes, I held a grip on myself and went to see Dr. Ayano asking Hana and Mio to call me right away if there were any changes in her condition. Along with doctor Shinju, Dr. Ayano was already busy in a video conference with the states doctors. Dr. Ayano only glanced at me once when I joined the conference. They have given a brief about Kotoko's condition and were discussing about the possible solution. This went on for several hours and before I knew, the sun was already high up in the sky.

I entered Kotoko's cabin with Dr. Ayano tailing me when the conference ended. We both checked up on her and asked to Hana and Mio if there were any changes in her. There were none.

"Dr. Irie, you should inform your family."

I only looked up at him with a blank stare in my face. That really just sounded awfully wrong.

"I mean, although there is no change in her condition now, she isn't out of critical stage yet. She is still in coma. I'm sure your parents would want to know." Dr. Ayano said in a small voice.

Coma… She is in coma… and I couldn't stop that. I couldn't do anything for her. I was supposed to be the genius with IQ level 200 and yet here I am… as pathetic as ever… unable to protect the only light in my life.

I swallowed and only nodded unable to say anything. Dr. Ayano kept his stethoscope inside his blue hospital gown that he was wearing over his pyjama. I guess he didn't have enough time to change when he rushed to hospital earlier after hearing about Kotoko's condition.

He patted on my shoulder and left the room with Mio. I sat down on the chair beside Kotoko's bed and held her right hand cupping it with my both hands. I kept massaging on her hand hoping she would feel my presence. Looking at her face, no one can tell that she was in coma. Her face was calm, almost as if she was sleeping peacefully.

"Please Kotoko… please…" I couldn't form any other words other than her name so I kept calling her wishing she would hear me, hoping she would respond.

I sat there for a long time wishing if I could turn back time, wishing if I could make things right. Wishing & wishing…

* * *

 **Update:** I apologise if I put any wrong medical information. I try reading different articles before I put anything in but they are just so hard to understand! -_- Thank you for reading. :)

Morlana: Thank you so much for the suggestion! I actually meant to write haunt but never realised I wrote hunt! Thanks!


	32. Chapter 32- Qualm

**A/N:** Thank you so much everyone for the love and support. I was so worried that you guys wouldn't want to read anymore for the long gap. Who would remember the story? Even I read the full story twice (and found a bunch of spelling/grammatical errors and typos! I'm sure there's more. Sorry about those!) to avoid plot loopholes or repeating the same stuffs. But I'm sooooo happy you didn't forget me or my story! I love you all really. You all are amazing!

* * *

 **Qualm**

(Naoki POV)

I have again lost the track of the time. I'm not sure for how long I sat beside her, holding her hand. Everything except Kotoko had ceased to exist. A hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality. Hana held out a sandwich and a water bottle at me.

"You should eat this, Irie-san. I am sure Kotoko would want that."

Of course Kotoko will want that. When did she ever want anything for her? All she cared about was me and my happiness. Nothing else mattered to her. Tears filled my eyes and I tried to compose myself with difficulty.

"Thank you." I thanked her in a broken voice taking the food from her hand without meeting her eyes. She only nodded and left me alone with Kotoko.

I sat there quietly with the food in my hand. I didn't want to eat. I didn't have any appetite. But I needed the strength. I couldn't fall ill now. Not when Kotoko is in critical state. I need to be at my best condition to take care of her.

I needed to wash my face but I didn't want to leave Kotoko alone even for a second, so I decided to ditch that and opened the water bottle to drink some water. My mouth hurt due to the dryness. I ate the sandwich slowly thinking about her condition.

It was about 12:30 pm when I decided to call home. Since her condition wasn't changing, I delayed informing home as oka-san was also not feeling good. The stress of Kotoko's condition made her weak and she was ill the whole week. Otou-san received my call and I briefly informed him about the condition. He assured me they will join me as soon as possible.

Oka-san, otou-sans and Yuki arrived at the hospital within 1:15 pm. I was busy with Dr. Ayano when they arrived. We both came out in the hall in front of Kotoko's vacant cabin to see them.

"What had happened Naoki-kun?" Otou-san asked me who looked very terrified.

"Kotoko… She had a severe breathing problem and her blood pressure dropped way out of the line suddenly and she nearly had a heart attack." I trailed off unable to continue. Dr. Ayano took it as his cue.

"Kotoko-san's condition is critical Aihara-san. She is in coma right now. We did everything we could do but her condition had not improved. We are looking for different approaches now."

"Coma?" Oka-san nearly cried. Yuki held her hand and rubbed the back of it.

"When will she wake up doctor?" My father asked.

"It is uncertain. It could be any duration of time. It could be a day, week or even months or years. I'm not going to give you false hopes. I'm sorry everyone."

I closed my eyes. I knew all of this but hearing it out loud made it more real and it crushed my inside. At least he didn't say there is a chance that she might not wake up at all. Yuki helped oka-san to sit on a chair placed near the wall. I was feeling light headed myself. I didn't want to lose my confidence and definitely didn't want to show me getting weaker to my family.

So I left.

I retreated like the coward I was. I needed air. I went out into one of the balcony on that floor near Kotoko's cabin. I stood near the railing looking at the distance. I could see vehicles running at full speed on the roads a bit further from the hospital. There was a park near one side of the hospital. Everything looked normal. The world looked peaceful unlike my heart which was far from it. Tears filled my eyes and started to fall all by themselves. Crying seems so much easier to me now whereas I wasn't sure if I had tears in my eyes even a month ago.

I felt a presence beside me after a while. I tried to remove the tears from my face quickly and hide my soaked face.

"It's okay son. It's okay to cry." My mother said putting a hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't voice anything, just nodded.

"You know, I believe she will wake up sooner than you think, and that she will be just fine."

"I know. I know oka-san. I believe that too. It's Kotoko after all."

"Yes Naoki. Our Kotoko is the strongest person I have ever seen. She wouldn't lose her fight."

"Yes oka-san. You are absolutely right."

I hugged her while saying this. She looked very tired. I knew she was actually trying to convince herself that what she was saying was correct. I knew she wanted me to agree so that she can believe what she was thinking. She was afraid and she needed my confirmation. I slowly patted on her back while she cried.

My mother, who always tries to look after every aspect of our lives, even sometimes crossing the boundary and deciding and assuming everything on her own, didn't know what to do in this situation. She doesn't know how to keep me from falling apart. I knew it was breaking her. She was the strongest person I knew until now, and she was breaking down.

It was my turn to look after them all. It was my turn to look after my wife and my mother- the two women who loved me with their entire hearts. I wanted to shoulder all the burdens but maybe I was failing again miserably. Kotoko is in coma and I don't know what to do now. I was a failure and I failed everybody. A pang of guilt pierced my heart.

I failed but I came to realize something. I realized how important Kotoko is to me. I realized I loved her more than I could think or I have ever imagined.

My father joined us after a short time and informed me that Dr. Ayano was looking for me. I left oka-san in my father's hand and went inside to go to Dr. Ayano's office.

Dr. Ayano was analyzing some documents. The state's doctors have reviewed Kotoko's condition and came up with some points. We had another session of video conference about that and after that we immediately started to examine the suggested procedures.

This was another part of her treatment which made me very scared. Everything was experimental. One wrong move and I might lose her forever. It was frightening. But nonetheless, I kept working my best.

Oka-san forced me to eat some lunch way past the lunch time. After that I spent some time with Kotoko. I couldn't rest. My mind was full awake. My eyes wouldn't budge from her face. How can I close them and rest?

After another half an hour, I checked Kotoko's present condition and then returned to our research area with the recent data. I updated everyone about the condition and instructed Mio to go and watch over her. I knew it was unnecessary to watch over someone in ICU since she was already under observation but I couldn't relax. I joined with the rest to continue with the work.

...

Days turned into weeks and weeks to months. During this whole time I read about several hundred research papers and examined more theories than that. Everybody else was a huge support. All the people of the team wanted Kotoko back. They all worked hard with me. I spent the entire 2 months mostly in the hospital, either researching or beside Kotoko.

Whenever I spent time with her, I talked to her. I made promises to her and to myself. I vowed to correct all my mistakes. I vowed never to take her for granted again. I vowed to put her before everything in my life and myself. I knew she wasn't listening or even wasn't aware of my presence. But I kept doing it. It was just a futile way to feel comfort. I didn't care if the other doctors or nurses pitied me. Nothing else matters anymore.

It was pure hell, two month of seeing her unconscious in bed, not moving at all except from the slight movement in her chest due to breathing. But I didn't give up the hope. Because giving up wasn't even an option.

Then one day, finally after two months we got the outcome we were eagerly waiting for. Kotoko started to respond to the treatment technique. We found a fresh new ray of hope.

Kotoko was a special case in Japan. None of the previous patients in the history of Neuroshia was someone who inherited it due to their mother's pregnancy. All the other patients were triggered due to their own pregnancy complexity. Which is why, Kotoko was having problems in her treatment now. The treatment procedure did not match with her condition. Several things had to change according to her criteria. There were a few patients with similar conditions in the US and Europe.

At one point some doctors strongly recommended to move her to the US. But Dr. Ayano dismissed the idea. She was in too vulnerable state to move, let alone a long journey. Instead he invited one of his colleagues from the states to Japan who happily volunteered.

The improvement in her treatment was astonishing. All we could do now was hope that the best would happen. Finally all the prayers were answered one morning. I was talking to her holding her hand when that happened. I was telling her about a dream I had seen.

In the dream she was singing at the top of her lungs near my ears and I was trying to cover them with pillows. But we both were laughing. We both were happy. But I didn't tell her about the ending of the dream, where I was alone inside a maze, desperately looking for the right way to get to her.

Suddenly she fluttered and opened her eyes slowly. I froze. I couldn't believe my eyes.

She tried to talk but nothing came out of her mouth.

"Kotoko…" I called her name sounding breathless. Then I acted fast and pressed the emergency button to call in Dr. Ayano.

"Irie… ku…kun…" She called my name with difficulty. I couldn't hold back my tears. They just dropped. But I restrained throwing myself at her in a hug. She was extremely weak right now.

"Kotoko… kotoko… Thank goodness… you're awake… you… finally…" I smiled like a fool through my tears while I was checking her vitals and her current state. I removed my tears when she smiled back.


	33. Chapter 33- Improvements

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for waiting patiently for the update and encouraging me.

* * *

 **Improvements**

(Naoki POV)

Dr. Ayano along with Dr. Shinju, Hana & Mio joined us shortly. They all were panic stricken when they entered the room but eased up seeing her fully conscious. Dr. Ayano took my place to check up on her and I took the opportunity to quickly call home and inform about Kotoko. Oka-san started crying and told me with a broken voice that they will be here soon.

Kotoko was out of immediate danger but still vulnerable. We decided to keep her in the ICU for another day or two to keep her under observation. Visitors weren't allowed inside the ICU but I took permission and allowed oka-san and otou-san to see her for 10 minutes.

Everyone was relived and finally exhaustion took a toll over my mother. She nearly collapsed but Yuki moved fast and held on to her tightly. He was keeping an eye on her I suppose.

I did some check up on oka-san and prescribed her medicines. Then I forced them all to return home. There was no point for them to stay back in the hospital since they can't meet Kotoko until she is out of ICU. Otou-san didn't want to leave but when I explained her situation, he obliged.

Kotoko slept through the whole day and woke up around the evening. I was called in the ICU immediately to see her as she was asking for me.

"Kotoko, are you feeling alright?" I asked her feeling concerned.

"Irie-kun…" She held out her hand towards me so I moved closer and grabbed into her hand.

"My head is feeling a bit heavy but otherwise I'm feeling okay." She replied.

"Thanks to almighty you're okay now." I exhaled a long breath.

"I scared you all, didn't I? I heard I was in coma for more than 2 months. I'm so sorry." She said softly.

"Yeah, well you did scare the life out of me. You don't have to be sorry for anything though." I replied squeezing her hand in response. Then I quickly added, "But it doesn't mean you can scare me like this ever again. I don't ever want to go through this again. Never!" With saying that, I bent towards her and kissed on her forehead.

She sighed in contentment and smiled.

"I love you Irie-kun."

"I love you more… Kotoko." I replied in a heartbeat.

She grinned with so much happiness that it sparkled in her eyes. I smiled and sat down beside her. Then I filled her up with all the details of the last two months. She listened with utmost interest. We talked for a long time. I felt like I was talking to her after a lifetime. Her voice was soothing to my ear. And at last my heart was calm now.

...

(Kotoko POV)

Suddenly when one day you wake up from your sleep and find out that, two months of your life has passed without your knowledge- this feels very strange indeed. It feels like I was dead but came back to life again. And now, Looking at Irie-kun and listening to his voice can make me fall for him all over again.

He explained what exactly had happened after my therapy. I couldn't remember anything that took place after the therapy. Even the two weeks when I was still conscious. It was partial amnesia and it's natural to go through this. Two months straight in coma will have to have some kind of side effects. At least it wasn't something more serious or the amnesia wasn't from the time before the therapy.

Hana told me a bit about my coma stage after I woke up from sleep a while ago. I still couldn't sit up, don't have enough strength yet. So instead she hugged my right hand and cried on it. They call me crazy but they surpass me sometimes.

I wasn't allowed to meet anyone yet but I'm really missing oka-san and otou-san. They were worried sick for me and oka-san even fell ill. I wish I will recover soon to move back to home. I really want to go home.

Irie-kun was massaging on my hand lightly while talking. I didn't talk since it makes me breathless. The surrounding machines also made my movements limited. So all I could do was smile, shake or nod my head or squeeze his hand while listening to him. He looks so tired himself. But he refused to leave when I tried to tell him to go and get some rest. I can't imagine what he did these past two months. We talked what seemed like for hours, or to be precise, he talked and I listened. It was really soothing and before I knew, I drifted back to sleep.

...

(General POV)

Kotoko was moved back to her cabin after two days. Her whole family visited her again that day. Oka-san and otou-san cried their hearts out. She was allowed to eat liquid food for now. Mrs. Irie fed her while Naoki stood on guard to see if she has any kind of problems. She couldn't eat much but that was okay. It will take some time to adjust.

All her friends visited her in small groups. None of them wanted to make a crowd inside the hospital. Kinnosuke & Christine were the first to visit. No one was surprised to see Kinnosuke cry. He was probably the most worried among her all friends. He even paid visits to hospital from time to time knowing that Kotoko was in ICU and he can't meet her.

After he found out about Neuroshia, he was mad at Naoki. Naoki knows that he blames him for being so irresponsible. Naoki didn't disagree in that matter. Kinnosuke gave a long silence treatment to Naoki. He pointedly ignored Naoki during the therapy weeks and before that.

But when Kotoko entered into coma, he showed sympathy to Naoki. Naoki apologised to him taking all the blames and saying he couldn't keep his promise that he made to Kinnosuke before marring Kotoko. Kinnosuke said he would forget about that if Naoki makes sure to cure Kotoko by any means. But he would never forgive Naoki if he fails again.

Naoki knew Kinnosuke visited the hospital during Kotoko's coma state to get updates on her condition directly from him and also for silently supporting Naoki to stay strong. He was grateful at this gesture. Kotoko was truly blessed with some wonderful people in her life, he admitted.

...

Two weeks later…

Mio slumped down on the empty seat next to Hana and huffed.

"What's up with you?" Hana asked.

"That Irie Naoki. He gets into my nerves."

"What did he ever do to you, seriously?" Hana asked in an exasperated voice.

"Nothing! It's just that… He is working so hard! I just can't believe it's the same dumbo that was oblivious about the fact that his wife was dying while he was busy with his career." Mio huffed again. He massaged on his shoulder. He was helping Naoki in an experiment back in the lab. It went on for hours.

"At least he is here now. He is repenting his mistakes. At least he isn't anything like we thought he would be, right?" Hana asked lightly.

"Well yeah… He is not. And that is what is irritating me. I can't even hate him in peace now. Although, I still can't understand, what did Kotoko ever see in that man?"

Hana laughed. "You just told the answer before you asked the question."

Mio raised a brow. "What do you mean?"

"What did Kotoko see in him? Probably a very good person. You see? We hated him since we know Kotoko. But now after meeting him, we admire him."

"I definitely don't admire him!" Mio snapped.

"Yeah well, you care about him." Hana smirked.

"What are you smirking at? I don't care about him."

"Remind me who buys lunches for him and makes me take it to him when he forgets about them due to work?" Hana wriggled her eyebrows.

"I only do that for Kotoko. So that she wouldn't worry." Mio answered heatedly.

"She couldn't worry when she was in coma." Hana added.

"Well we obviously didn't need another patient next to her bed that time. Besides we needed his brilliant brain to work out a solution for the problem."

"So you admit that he is brilliant."

"I never disagreed in that. I knew he had brains the moment Dr. Ayano recruited him. I'm not so sure about a heart though." Mio said calmly.

"I'm sure he loves Kotoko more than we think. That is the reason he is working so hard now isn't it?" Hana said.

"Hope so. He is brilliant no doubt. In fact, it's astounding that a person as brilliant as he is didn't have any hunch on what Kotoko was going through over the entire year. I mean come on, if you love someone, you should be able to tell that your partner is not okay. You should be able to feel it."

"I guess he lacks in emotional department. But now his work is showing how much he loves Kotoko, you know?" Hana said softly.

Mio just nodded his head absentmindedly.

"I'm sure Kotoko will be fine. Dr. Ayano and Dr. Irie will work something out." Hana mumbled as if she was trying to comfort herself.

"Yes." Mio smiled looking at Hana. "She will be fine in no time."

Hana relaxed immediately and also smiled in answer.

...

Two more weeks passed. Over these weeks, Kotoko recovered rapidly. Finally her treatment was back on track. It was progressing smoothly. And after being hospitalized for nearly four months since before her therapy, Kotoko was allowed to go back home.

She got discharged in the afternoon and was immediately drove back home by Naoki. Everyone including Konomi was waiting for her at home. They received her with loud welcomes and showering her with confetti. Naoki didn't expect anything less and was prepared for the worst. He just stood by Kotoko's side and let his family pull her into hugs and shower her with kisses.

They celebrated her return with her favourite foods. Mrs. Irie and Naoki were extremely careful about Kotoko's food. They literally monitored her every reaction whenever she ate something different.

Kotoko took a quick bathe when she went upstairs. She actually needs a longer one but that has to wait for a little more time. After that Naoki forced her to get to bed for some sleep. Kotoko didn't mind. Finally she was home… in her room… in her own bed… She felt good. She felt happy.


	34. Chapter 34- One Last Call

**A/N:** Thank you everyone.

* * *

 **One Last Call**

(General POV)

Life was back to normal… well almost. Another month and half passed. Kotoko was getting back on her feet slowly. Although she was being treated like she was made of glass by the whole Irie family. At least one of them was always around in need. She was still being served by food at her room. She was strictly told to avoid the stairs.

Mrs. Irie helped her to take showers and changing her clothes. Naoki was yet again busy with the research. But he was always available on phone. He called her every two to three hours. Also he kept her updated about the research. She was a part of the team until recently after all, so she should know all about it.

Together with Dr. Ayano he worked hard. Kotoko had another therapy session two weeks ago. They were all really anxious at the start of the therapy. But it went on without any hindrance. The new changes well suited her condition.

And then one day the inevitable happened…

Naoki received a call from Tonan hospital. It was sad news. Grandma Yoshida had passed away two days ago. It was sudden and her family didn't have the time to bring her to the hospital. But at least her son and daughter-in-law were beside her in her last moments.

Apparently grandma has left some of her possessions for Kotoko and surprisingly for Naoki too. Her son has left them under the care of the head nurse Hanoi of Tonan and apologised for not personally meeting him. He wasn't physically well himself.

Naoki went to Tonan wondering how to break this news to Kotoko. She was very close to Grandma Yoshida who treated Kotoko like her own grand-daughter. He returned to Hope after collecting the package and straight went to his office.

He wasn't sure if he should open the package without Kotoko but then knowing Grandma Yoshida, he couldn't be sure if she didn't pull any last prank or not. So he decided to open it.

The small box was divided into two parts. On top of each side's belongings had two envelops with Kotoko and Naoki's names respectively. He took out the envelop that had his name on it in his hand first. Under that envelop was a DSLR camera and its charger. He raised a brow in surprise. He took that out too and tried to turn it on. But it remained off.

It was confusing. Why would she give an unpacked camera without any charge in it? He put aside the camera and took out the other contents of the box one by one. Those were for Kotoko. Several photos were there, which were taken in the hospital while she was admitted and some other pictures that he didn't recognised. Probably those were taken while he was in Kobe. Kotoko had bandage on her wrist in some photos. Naoki remembered she said she fell down in the hospital. There were also some other souvenirs for Kotoko. Nothing was dangerous. Naoki smiled at the thought.

He put back all the contents inside the box again, except his letter and camera. He took out the charger and connected the camera for charging. Then he opened his letter to read it. It was grandma's last few words to him.

"Dear Naoki-san,

Hope you're doing well. This could be my second last letter to anyone so I will skip talking about me. You might be wondering why I gave you that camera without charging it first. Actually I wanted to make sure you read the letter first before you see the pictures in that camera. As you remember, Kotoko visited me in the summer house last year. They were the few best days of my life that I will remember till my last breath. I wanted to share those days with you too. But before I do that, you need to know a few things that I came to know during that time from Kotoko. Although, I'm not sure if she told me the entire truth, I always felt like she was holding back. If you already don't know what I'm talking about, then you should immediately ask Kotoko about that. I tried very hard to convince her to talk to you. Even after she returned home, over the year, I was in touch with her from time to time. But she was adamant that she doesn't want to be a hindrance in your life. She wanted to be able to work on her own. I remember her saying that she wanted be a home for you, where you will be at peace. That touched my heart. That girl is something. Or probably I should say woman. But anyway Naoki-san, I'm sure you know your wife loves you too much for her own good. But she doesn't really know how much you love her. I don't blame her. I know you too. I know you find it hard to express yourself. But you should express you know… once in a while. Your dummy wife needs to be taken care of all the time. She is so fragile… so precious… always treasure her Naoki-san. Always love her and if you don't, I swear I will hunt you after I die. It's just a friendly warning. Don't worry too much. I'm so tempted to write down every word that Kotoko told me that day, but I can't break my promise to Kotoko without at least telling her. Also about those pictures inside the camera, they are nothing special but I would request you to see them after talking to Kotoko about them. I need Kotoko to know that I'm breaking her promise. Hopefully she will forgive me. I will stop here for now; I still need to write to Kotoko. Hope you two will have a wonderful life ahead and will always stay happy together.

Lots of love,

Your most beautiful patient"

.

Naoki took a deep breath after finishing reading the letter. This letter was even more surprising. He never thought Kotoko will tell about her condition to Yoshida-san. Probably she needed to talk to somebody who was a friend. She assumed it was safe to talk to Yoshida-san.

 _Is this why she visited the summer house last year instead of visiting me? That was the time around when she started her treatment. No…_ Naoki thought harder, _she started her treatment after her visit to the summer house._

Naoki badly wanted to check the content of the camera, but he stopped himself with difficulty. He couldn't just ignore grandma's last request. He had to talk to Kotoko about it at first.

However, the more pressing matter at hand for now was to inform Kotoko about grandma's death. She is already in weak state. Naoki was in turmoil thinking what to do. Should he delay about the death news for a few days? But it could hurt her more. No one better than him knows, how much it hurts to find out that your other half was keeping secrets from you. Doesn't matter even if they thought it was for their own good. At least that's what Kotoko thought so.

In the end Naoki decided against keeping secrets. He won't repeat what she did. He will tell her and if she cries, he will be there for her.

Naoki put the letter inside the box and then resumed his work which he was doing before he received the call from Tonan.

At half past five, he decided to return home after calling it a day. Kotoko and Mrs. Irie were gossiping about something happily when he entered his room.

"Naoki, you're back already!" Mrs. Irie stated happily.

"Yes oka-san. I was feeling tired." He responded.

"You should take a day off and take some rest Irie-kun." Kotoko said.

"Yeah, I think I should." Naoki agreed and kept the box on the table.

"What's in that box?" Kotoko asked curiously.

"Um… This is from Yoshida-san." He replied.

"Grandma Yoshida? I haven't heard from her in a while. She didn't know about me being in coma. She is definitely upset that I stopped contacting." Kotoko talked very fast and looked for her phone in the bed to make a call to grandma. Mrs. Irie also helped her in her search.

"Kotoko? Wait, Kotoko." Naoki stopped her from calling when she found her phone.

"Yes Irie-kun?"

"Nurse Hanoi called me from Tonan today. She said… she said that… um… Yoshida-san died two days ago due to sudden heart attack."

Blood drained away from Kotoko's face. Smile replaced with horror.

"What did you say?" She asked in a small shaky voice.

Tears filled her eyes. Naoki immediately went near her and pulled her in a hug. Kotoko buried her head on his stomach and wrap her arms around his waist while Naoki stood beside her bed and put his arms around her head pulling her closer.

"I'm so sorry." He said softly. Kotoko sobbed in his embrace.

Mrs. Irie also wasn't prepared for the bad news. She looked at Naoki with pained expression. He assured her silently that he would take care of Kotoko. She nodded and silently left them alone.

Kotoko cried for a long time holding Naoki. He kept rubbing on her back. Finally when she controlled her tears a little bit, she asked about the box.

"What's in the box?"

"We can check them later. You should sleep for a little while. You cried so much." Naoki said, removing the traces of tears from her cheeks and then he placed a kiss on her forehead.

Kotoko didn't argue on that. She actually felt really tired. She lied down and Naoki pulled the covers up to her shoulders. Then he went to get freshen up. He quickly informed oka-san that Kotoko was okay for now and returned upstairs.

When he entered the room, Kotoko opened her eyes and watched him moving closer to the bed.

"You're still not asleep?"

"It's not coming." She complained.

Naoki smiled and went around on his side to join her in the bed. He pulled Kotoko in his arms and she wraps her hands around his chest.

"Now sleep. I'm here for you." Naoki said.

"Hm… Mmm…" Kotoko sighed in contentment. Then before she knew, she was already asleep. Naoki also fell asleep after a while.

...

By the time they both woke up, it was already dinner time. Naoki helped her to get fresh. Then he went down-stairs and brought both of their dinners to his room.

"Irie-kun… please feed me." Kotoko requested in a very childish innocent tone.

Naoki looked at her in surprise and couldn't stop laughing.

"What?" Kotoko dropped her innocent act but then pouted which was even cuter.

Naoki just shook his head and didn't say anything. Kotoko folded her arms in her chest and looked away. Naoki smiled and sat beside Kotoko in the bed.

He picked the food and held it near her mouth. Kotoko was so surprised that she gaped at him. Naoki did feed her a few numbers of times in the hospital and in home earlier but only when Hana or oka-san was not available and Kotoko was absolutely weak to eat by herself. However, right now none of the mentioned condition applied. She was perfectly capable of eating by herself.

Naoki raised a brow when Kotoko smiled and then laughed.

"What?" He asked, faking irritation.

This time Kotoko simply shook her head without answering. Then she took a bite from the food Naoki was holding out for her.

He fed her the entire meal and they talked about grandma Yoshida and her antics. Kotoko was feeling much better now.

After finishing the dinner, Naoki took the dishes downstairs. Mrs. Irie took those from him and said she will wash them and he should return to his room, which he obliged. With his help Kotoko took her medicines. Then they both changed into their night wears and returned to bed.

Naoki took the box he left on the table to their bed and showed Kotoko everything that was left for her by grandma. Kotoko took her time and saw every picture and talked about every story attached to the pictures that she remembered. She also loved her other gifts and was so happy to receive them. Lastly Naoki gave her the letter. She held it lightly in her hand as if it will break if she put too much force in it and stared at it. Naoki encouraged her to read it. She gulped and opened it. She inhaled deeply and started reading it.


	35. Chapter 35- Shocking Truth

**A/N:** Hello everyone! Hope you all are doing well. I'm back with my new update. Enjoy! :D

* * *

 **Shocking Truth**

(General POV)

Naoki watched Kotoko as she read the letter. She laughed and cried while reading it. She also looked scared and confused for a short duration. It was a humongous letter, almost five times or bigger than Naoki's. She took her time to read it. After finishing it, she read it again… then again… for several times.

At last when she was satisfied with memorizing it, she looked up at Naoki with tears in her eyes. He was already watching her. In fact, he never stopped looking at her when she started reading. Naoki always loved watching her while she read. It was entertaining to him. All those different expressions that appear on her face while she reads something fascinated him all the times.

"Grandma Yoshida… She is an…" Kotoko stopped for a moment and inhaled deeply, "she was an amazing woman Irie-kun. I can't believe she was worried about me until her last breath. What did I do to deserve to be loved like that?" She asked him painfully.

"You deserve all the love of the whole world Kotoko. You just don't know what you are, do you?" He asked pulling her into a hug.

Kotoko hugged him back and remained silent for a while.

"I didn't tell her about Neuroshia. I just told her about my mother and about the decreasing possibility of my conceiving."

"Oh… You didn't?" Naoki was surprised.

"No… I didn't want her…" She stopped.

"You didn't want to worry her or you didn't want her to spill the bean to me?" Naoki asked calmly.

"Both." Kotoko mumbled in a barely audible voice. Naoki sighed.

"I… I shared about my mother because… I… well I kind of escaped there. I remember feeling all messed up and unsure and didn't know what to do. She was my escape at that time."

Naoki tightened his grab around her but didn't say anything. His heart was hurting really bad hearing this, but he remained quiet and let her continue.

"But in the end, I couldn't tell her everything. It's not like I didn't want to. I did want to. I just… didn't have the courage. At first I thought I didn't tell her only because I didn't want her to worry or I was afraid she might tell you, but then I thought harder… and after I started my treatment I realised, that I was actually a coward. I didn't tell her because deep in my heart I was hoping it was all a bad dream… that I was only dreaming and it will all go away when I wake up. If I tell her, if I talk about it out loud it will all become true. I was a mess Irie-kun… and in the end I feel like I deceived her. I didn't tell her the whole truth. I didn't let her go in peace. And she was worrying about me… all these times…" Her voice broke and she sobbed.

"Shh… Hey… Kotoko… don't… what are you saying?" Naoki was astounded. He couldn't fathom the depth of her worries. How hurt she was. He felt like his heart was breaking… yet again.

"Do not blame yourself for every single thing." Naoki couldn't count in his fingers anymore, how many times he repeated that sentence to Kotoko. Every time for every single thing she ends up blaming herself.

"I'm sure Yoshida-san is in peace. I'm sure she wouldn't worry about you anymore because she knows I'm with you. I can assure you that she definitely didn't want you to feel bad about her. She loved you a lot Kotoko and that is why she was worried about you. She even threatened me you know? She said she will haunt me if I don't love you enough and don't take care of you properly." He consoled her while running his fingers through her hairs slowly.

"She did? She wrote you a letter too? Well she did warn me that if I don't tell you everything then she will. I guess she wasn't bluffing." Naoki removed her tears from her eyes and cheek with his fingers.

"She didn't mention anything. She just told me to ask you if you already didn't tell me before I see the photos in the camera."

"Photos? What camera?"

"She left a camera for me, which has photos of you two I guess, from the time when you visited her."

With saying that, Naoki untangled himself from Kotoko and took out the camera from inside the box. Kotoko kept looking at his direction with confusion. Naoki turned on the camera with a smile. Finally he could see all the crazy stuff they both did together _without_ him.

...

(Kotoko POV)

I watched Irie-kun with confusion. I creased my forehead thinking hard.

 _A camera?_

He took out a DSLR camera from the box and turned it on.

 _Wait a minute! I know that camera! Am I missing something?_

I continued watching Irie-kun as he looked through the photos. Slowly the smile on his face was wiped out. He wrinkled his forehead and then he looked utterly horrified. Then his hands started to shake.

"Irie-kun?" I called out feeling slightly terrified too. What was going on? What's in there?

Then a video started to play. At first there were only low sounds and then I heard my own voice.

'Grandma… what are you doing?' I shouted in the video. 'Stop recording me!' I whined.

My eyes widen with horror. That can't be happening.

'Don't be silly dear. It's not like I'm going to post it on the youtube. Relax.' I heard grandma say.

 _Darn it! I totally forgot. Darn it! Darn it! Darn it! What the hell? How can I forget about that? What on earth am I gonna tell him now?_

'Grandma! Come on… ouch' I heard myself say.

 _How can I forget about my freaking ACCIDENT!_

'Kotoko… are you okay?' Grandma had rushed towards me because I nearly fell from the bed. I remember that incident vividly.

'I'm fine.' I replied her. 'Why are you recording me?'

'I'm not interested in recording you. But I'm fascinated by all those bandages you have on you. I'm recording them. You're just a bonus with the bandages. Consider yourself lucky.'

I had then rolled my eyes hearing her answer. But now I closed them. There is no way Irie-kun is seeing this whole video. I have to stop him.

Grandma recorded my injuries while I was changing my bandages. It was creepy but she did it from an angle which didn't show too much of my skin. I didn't even know when she entered my room where I stayed during my visit at her summer house and started recording. But I didn't let her continue and threatened her to stop it.

"Irie-kun…" I tried to snatch away the camera from his hand but failed. Instead it fell in the bed between us.

'Grandma, stop recording or I will have to move to the bathroom. You really don't want me to walk around without the bandages on me. It will increase the pain. I have two freaking fractured ribs you know!' I heard myself threatening grandma in the video.

'Fine.' Grandma had said. And then the screen turned black.

Well that was the whole thing as far as I remember. After that she turned the camera off and helped me putting on the medical adhesive tape around my broken ribs area and on my wrist.

But unfortunately the screen lightened again and I saw a very weak grandma sitting on her bed with the support of her headrest. I looked up at Irie-kun who was frozen and staring at the screen blankly. I returned my gaze at the camera too.

'I'm really sorry Irie-san… and Kotoko if you're there too. I hope Irie-san, that you already know about the incident and outcome and that this video is meaningless to you both. I really hope that. But knowing Kotoko, she will hold back her secrets until the last minute. She will suffer alone. She'll never tell you anything if that means it will spare you from all the pains. Believe me when I say that, I really didn't want to give you this camera. I was sure I'll be able to convince Kotoko before I die and then I wouldn't have to send it to you. But I couldn't get in touch with her in the last few months and I don't think I have much time left. So… I don't know what else to do. I don't want Kotoko to suffer alone. I want you to be with her in her pains, so I chose this path, even if it's wrong to do so. Now, Kotoko… you can hate me all you want honey. But believe me… nothing good comes when you keep secrets from your life partner. He has every right to know everything that you go through. Your pains… your sufferings are his too. Don't deprive him from that. You think you're doing him a favour but it's actually the opposite. Hiding something this big, while he is a part of your life, you're giving him a life-time punishment. You're his responsibility after all. You cannot deny that. I originally made this video because I wanted to blackmail you if you don't agree with me to tell him everything. It was not my plan to ever send it to him. But now this is my last resort to help you. If you're watching this, it means I'm no longer alive in this world. It was my last gift to you both which I'm pretty sure is sounding like a curse now. Trust me; I only have the best wishes for you both in my heart. I truly want you to be happy and always stay happy _together_. Please forgive me if you can. I love you both. May the almighty bless the two of you.'

The screen went black again. My tears were flowing relentlessly soaking my pyjama top. I couldn't stop them. They were making my vision blur. I looked up at Irie-kun and my heart nearly stopped.

Bloodshot eyes were filled with tears. He was frozen and still staring at the screen. His breathing was erratic. It seemed like he was having difficulties in breathing.

My heart started palpitating. My time froze. I could only see the broken man in front of me and everything else vanished, became meaningless.

 _What have I done?_

Irie-kun cried like he never cried before. He cried or was in the verge of crying a few numbers of times in the past after he found out about my condition but he used to compose himself quickly. He forced to compose himself for my sake. But right now was different. It felt like he wasn't even aware that I was around. He was just… lost.

"Irie-kun…" My voice broke.

I removed the camera which was separating us and threw my arms around him crushing myself on him.

"Irie-kun… please… please don't cry." I sobbed. "I'm okay. See? Look at me. Nothing happened." I pulled away from the hug and forced him to look into my eyes.

"I'm fine. Don't you see? It was nothing. Please stop crying."

He closed his eyes without meeting mine and wailed out in pain breaking my heart into millions of tiny pieces.


	36. Chapter 36- Heartbreaking Confession

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for the patience.

* * *

 **Heartbreaking Confession**

(General POV)

Naoki felt like the earth beneath him vanished. The world around him shattered. His heart stopped. But then why was he feeling that intense pain piercing him? Why was he still breathing? Nothing made any sense anymore.

He didn't know when he started crying. His breathing became erratic and his head started to pound. He could feel Kotoko was shaking him and telling him something but his mind was already switched off. He couldn't comprehend anything she was saying.

 _What did he just saw?_

 _What was that?_

 _What does it mean?_

 _Is this some kind of a sick joke?_

 _Is this a dream… a nightmare?_

He closed his eyes tightly.

 _Let me wake up. Let it end. Make it go._

 _Let me wake up please._

Nothing was different when he opened his eyes again. Everything was true. Everything he was feeling was real. It won't just go away, he realized.

Naoki groaned out loud due to the immense pain in his heart but he chocked immediately which muffled his cry. Kotoko pulled him into a hug again. She was also crying and shaking. She was aghast seeing Naoki breaking down completely right in front of her. She couldn't even voice anything for a while and just kept rubbing on his back. On the other hand, Naoki kept crying on her shoulder… still in a haze.

It was raining outside, hard. It would seem like the sky had also broken down in tears with them. The window pane of their bedroom made a loud shattering noise due to the thunder.

None of them could tell for how long they just cried. Nothing Kotoko said was making any sense to Naoki. He tried to replay what he saw and hear in the video but his mind was a mess… thoughts were jumbled. He gulped and tried to calm down because he needed answers. He pushed Kotoko away from him and finally met her eyes.

"Why?" He could only utter.

She stared back at him with tears sliding down her face. Unable to reply, she just shook her head. She didn't even know how to answer that question.

"Why?" Naoki repeated his question loudly. He didn't mean to shout at her. He was just trying to keep talking. He needed to know before he loses his mind.

Yes, he was angry. Not at Kotoko… well maybe a little… he didn't know. But he was definitely so much angry at himself that he could just grab a dagger right now and run it straight through his heart.

No scratch that.

He wanted to repeatedly stab himself until he couldn't feel anything anymore. He wanted to rip his head off. He wanted to break all the 206 bones in his own body. He wanted to bleed to death drop by drop. He wanted to inflict so much physical pain to his own body just for the slight hope that it might override the mental pain, the torture he was going through right this moment.

But he couldn't do any of it. Human cannot always do what they want. That is just not the way how it works.

"Please…" He sobbed. "Please I'm going crazy… please… please I…" he couldn't finish the line. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

Kotoko closed her eyes. She couldn't see him devastated anymore. She can't take it anymore. It was already too much. She broke him. It was her. It's all her fault.

 _She did this to him._

So she decided to be honest to him.

"It happened before I started my treatment. The day after I found out about my oka-san and my supposed pregnancy complexity, I went out for a walk. I… I wondered around the streets and probably I was too weak. I lost my conscious and fell down the stairs. I was taken into the Hope emergency because it was closer to the place of my accident. I had to stay a night there. I met Dr. Ayano there for the first time and then I decided to start my treatment."

She stopped. She didn't want to talk about the injuries. She hoped some miracle will happen and she wouldn't have to break him even more. But her wish was not granted.

"And?" Naoki urged in a hoarse voice. She gulped feeling helpless and continued.

"The fall was quite rough. I fell from the 3rd step. But luckily I avoided breaking any bones." She paused.

Naoki kept looking at her breathing hard. He didn't say anything and waited for her to finish.

"I fractured two ribs and my left wrist. I went to the summer house after that because I didn't want anyone to find out and also I wanted to clear my mind."

Naoki still remained in the frozen state after she finished. But he couldn't stop the new flow of tears that started to fall down.

"Irie-kun…" Kotoko held his hand. "Look at me. I am absolutely fine now. I have completely healed from it. It wasn't serious. Please…"

Naoki flinched. He pulled away his hand and moved away from Kotoko. He was feeling suffocated. The pounding in his head was killing him.

"Irie-kun…" Kotoko again tried to reach out to him but he jumped out of the bed.

"Don't… just don't…" He didn't finish the sentence and bolted out of the room.

Kotoko was very weak and all the crying made it worse but she still tried to get down from the bed. But before she could do that she heard the front door slammed shut.

"Irie-kun…" She screamed out for him.

Yuki entered the room running.

"Kotoko!" He ran to her and held her as she was about to fall to the ground from the bed.

"What happened? Was that oni-chan? Where did he go out in the storm?"

Kotoko didn't answer. She only kept crying. The word storm didn't even register in her mind.

Yuki heard it from his room when Naoki was crying but he didn't interfere and left them alone. He didn't hear everything as the heavy rain was covering most of the sounds. He thought Naoki was upset because Kotoko was ill.

But he came to see what happened when he heard Naoki running out of the room and straight out of the house. Mrs. Irie also entered the room while Mr. Irie hovered over the door, unsure if he should enter. Apparently they have also heard the front door.

"Kotoko-chan, are you okay? What happened? Where is Naoki?"

"Oka-san, Irie-kun… Bring Irie-kun." Kotoko said in between her sobs.

"But where did he go? There is a storm going on out there." Mr. Irie said with concern.

"I will go look for him." Yuki said while going out of the room.

"Stay careful Yuki." His father told him. He just nodded and ran towards the stairs.

Yuki regretted not bringing a raincoat as soon as he stepped outside his house. He had no idea how hard the rainfall was from inside the house. But he continued running.

He searched their neighbourhood for any sign of Naoki. But the rain was so thick that it was very hard to see anything within nearly 2 ft. He didn't have any lights with him and their neighbourhood was comparatively darker than usual. Probably there was some electricity failure due to the storm. He searched here and there for 20 minutes but then gave up and went back home.

On the other hand, the elders of the house were trying to comprehend the situation and calm Kotoko down. Mr. Aihara had also joined them in the bedroom. Mrs. Irie hugged Kotoko and tried to console her. All of them were dumbfounded. They assumed Naoki and Kotoko had a fight but what astounded them was Naoki losing control and leaving the house in this weather.

They didn't hear anything earlier as their rooms are a bit further away from Naoki and Kotoko's. Also the storm outside covered Naoki's cries and didn't let it reach them. They couldn't imagine Naoki would get mad at Kotoko when she is in this condition.

Mr. Irie went out of the room went he heard the front door open.

"I couldn't find him. It's raining so hard. I couldn't even see properly. Where did he go?" Yuki spoke to his father right outside the bedroom.

Mr. Irie didn't know what to reply. Listening to that Mrs. Irie hugged Kotoko tightly and looked up at Mr. Aihara who looked equally worried.

Suddenly Mrs. Irie realised Kotoko's body became limp so she pulled away from the hug immediately. She was having short of breathes.

"Kotoko…" Mrs. Irie shouted.

Yuki and Mr. Irie barged into the room.

"What happened?" Mr. Aihara was panic-stricken.

"She can't breathe properly." Mrs. Irie responded.

Yuki immediately opened her emergency aid and pulled out an oxygen mask. He put it on her and helped her to lie down. Then he connected the oxygen cylinder kept next to her bed. Naoki had shown him how to do that for emergency case. Kotoko started to breathe through the mask and slowly her breathing came in control but remained very weak.

They all looked around when a phone rang in the room. It belonged to Naoki.

"Just as I thought. He left his phone." Mr. Irie mumbled.

"Try calling at Hope. We are supposed to inform every incident to the team. She is having breathing difficulty right now." Yuki told his father.

Mr. Irie immediately tried to call at Hope emergency. But he couldn't get through in the first two tries.

"Damn it. Even the network is poor due to the storm." He sounded frustrated. But on the 3rd attempt the line was connected.

He informed about Kotoko's situation. Dr. Ayano was instantly connected to the line. He asked where Naoki was. Mr. Irie just said he wasn't home. Then Dr. Ayano said, they will come with an ambulance as soon as the road is clear.

Apparently many trees and shops were destroyed in the past hour and most of the roads were blocked. Everyone was warned to stay at home in the news.

Dr. Ayano told Mr. Irie to keep him informed about Kotoko's condition and they will be out as soon as possible.

"The roads are blocked? Where is Naoki?" Mrs. Irie cried when Mr. Irie told them what Dr. Ayano said.

Nobody answered her. Nobody knew the answer in the first place. Naoki had no phone and they have no other means to contact him.

Now all that the Irie family could do was waiting and praying that Naoki would be safe.


	37. Chapter 37- Lost Soul

**A/N:** 100 people have favourite my story! More than that is following! I can't thank you all enough... really. It means a lot to someone like me. I am not a professional writer. English isn't my native language. I still tried and all the supports that I got from you all are mind-blowing. Thank you so much everyone! I guys are amazing. :D

* * *

 **Lost Soul**

(General POV)

Naoki burst out through the front door slamming it behind him. He was feeling suffocated. He needed air. He needed to be alone. He needed to get away from everything… form the reality.

He walked fast out of the gate and then walked faster until he broke into a run. He ran… ran… and ran until he found himself in the middle of nowhere. He slipped and fell once, but he didn't care, he got up and continued running. He didn't even realise it was raining, that he was breaking through a storm, he kept running. He couldn't see where he was going, but that didn't stop him, he kept running. He kept on going for nearly 30 minutes straight when he wasn't even athletic.

He just needed to get away which compelled him to keep moving. Finally when his foot got caught in a tree branch that was lying on the road blocking it, break off his run and he fell down for the second time that night, only more harshly this time. He flew a little and fell face forward on top of the huge branch and several smaller branches cut through his body in different places.

He didn't feel it. His mental pain was so much greater, that the physical pain was overridden and didn't reach to his brain. He tried to get up, but he was out of breathes and strength. His hands gave out on him, so he kept lying on the branch which was still poking him and cutting through his flesh.

After a while when he found a little control over himself, he tried to move again but couldn't lift his leg. A sharp pain shot through his entire body. He had fractured his ankle. He tried to crawl off the branch then, bruising several other parts of his body. When he reached the edge of the branch he rolled off it onto the ground.

Rain was hitting hard straight on his face. He closed his eyes wishing everything will be gone and that he was only having a nightmare for the millionth times that night. He just wanted a break. It was too much. Everything that is happening is just too much for him to take in.

He opened his eyes to the dark sky. No changes. His life was as meaningless as it was one minute ago. He is still the same old pathetic person he desperately wished he was not. He screamed out in agony… several times… He felt despaired… he cried… cried… and cried…

"Why… why… why?" He kept shouting to the sky.

"Why did it have to happen?" He asked to no one.

"Just why?"

"What did I ever do to deserve this?" Finally he voiced the question he always asked himself after he found out about his wife. That she hid everything from him.

"Why me? Why her? Why Kotoko?" He asked the questions which at some point every human being asks to themselves.

"Why did she have to go through this all?" He sobbed.

"Why didn't I ever realise? Why am I so pathetic? I never even realised anything… anything!"

"How can I say I love her?"

"How can I say I love her?" He shouted. His body was shaking violently.

"I couldn't even tell what she was going through, and I say I love her. I never cared enough."

"I NEVER CARED ENOUGH!" He shouted loudly.

"How can I say I love her?" He mumbled.

"Kotoko…"

"Kotoko…"

"Please forgive me. Please… Please forgive me."

"How can I ask for your forgiveness?"

"How can I ever forgive myself? How can I?"

"What do I do now?"

"What do I do?" He cried for a long time. He kept repeating everything to himself.

"I love you Kotoko… I really do."

"I just love you… so much… that it hurts… It really hurts so much…"

He continued crying… silently… and the rain washed away his tears… hiding it from everyone. Just like his pain… along with the blood that was oozing from all over his injured body.

He cried his heart out for several hours until his body gave out… until his mind didn't work anymore… until he became unconscious… still lying on the same place, unknown to the world while the rain kept pouring mercilessly.

...

On the other hand, Dr. Ayano sent emergency ambulance for Kotoko immediately when the storm subsided after a few hours. Hana along with Dr. Shinju went with the ambulance to escort her back in to the hospital. Although her condition wasn't very serious, nonetheless Dr. Ayano didn't want to take any chances. Nothing can be predicted about her condition.

The roads weren't clear properly but emergency vehicles where already out for rescue missions. Several houses and shops were damaged. Glass windows were broken almost everywhere. They were covering the grounds like diamonds in the night. Trees were uprooted and wrecked on the roads making it impossible for the vehicles to move. But the tow trucks were already out clearing the mess. It took some time for the ambulance to reach the Irie residence. But they moved her to Hope as soon as they can. Mr. Aihara and Mrs. Irie accompanied her.

Mr. Irie and Yuki remained back because they wanted to go out to search for Naoki. They still didn't hear anything from him and it was so out of his character to do something this reckless that his family was freaking out of their minds.

...

Miles away, a tow truck discovered unconscious Naoki on the road when they were cleaning that area. They immediately informed the police who were working along with emergency medical aid group for the rescue mission. They took Naoki under immediate care and provided him with the first aid.

He gained his conscious after a while. The doctors has patched up his injuries and put bandages on him. He has hurt his shoulders, arms, abdomen and legs. But the cuts weren't deep also as he was out on the cold rain for hours, his injuries didn't bleed a lot. He didn't lose much blood. But the fracture on his leg was severe. He might need crutches for support for a while.

When they inquired about his whereabouts, he only told them his name and that he works as a doctor in the Neuro-Hope hospital. They didn't pressurise him with questions as his condition looked pretty weak. Instead they contacted to Hope immediately. Dr. Ayano was again given straight connection to the line. Bewildered, Dr. Ayano told them he will send an ambulance to pick him up as soon as possible. But the police declined the offer and said they were already on their way to there. They also said the hospital should contact his family as he could be reported as missing.

Dr. Ayano did exactly that. He informed Mrs. Irie as soon as he got off the phone. She nearly collapsed learning about Naoki's condition. Mr. Aihara immediately informed Mr. Irie who informed Yuki in turns. They were both searching around nowhere in particular again. But they immediately went to Hope when they heard the news.

Naoki reached Hope riding the emergency medical vehicle before them. The emergency aid took off immediately after they handed over Naoki to Dr. Ayano who personally received him from the front of the hospital building. He was taken to Neurology department due to Dr. Ayano's request although his injuries weren't anything related to neurology. He and Dr. Shinju again re-checked his injuries and after they were sure that except on his leg, his other injuries weren't serious, they put on a saline and left him alone to rest in a cabin.

Naoki was fully conscious but they could tell he was not himself, so they didn't ask him any questions. However, Mrs. Irie couldn't stop herself from barging in. She couldn't wait to see her son with her eyes. She was freaking out of her mind. Mr. Irie, Yuki and Mr. Aihara also joined her. They showered him with millions of questions. But Naoki remained muted through all of their inquiries. He kept staring into the space, never meeting any of their eyes.

Finally Yuki managed to convince the elders to give Naoki some space and leave him alone, saying he needed to rest. They all agreed half-heartedly since Naoki wasn't responding. Kotoko was asleep as she was injected with sleeping medicine when she arrived in the hospital to rest. Later, Naoki was also given some sleeping medicine to get some sleep. Meanwhile, Naoki and Kotoko rested but their all four family members remained wide awake and anxious. The night certainly did not turned out as any of them had pictured it would be like.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope this part isn't too chiche. But in my defence, the storm wasn't even an option when I first started to write the previous chapter. It was raining so hard where I live during that time and hearing the thunders I thought, why not? *hides face***


	38. Chapter 38- Lost Soul (part two)

**A/N:** It's already been a year since I started writing this story! I can't believe I couldn't finish it yet! But it's close to the end. Thank you everyone :)

* * *

 **Lost Soul (part two)**

(General POV)

A gloomy morning arrived. But it was welcomed with warm embraces from the Irie family as they were desperate to see their loved ones. Kotoko was the first one to wake up so they went to meet her.

"Irie-kun… Is he okay? Where is he?" She asked as soon as she saw her family.

But they remained quiet not knowing the answer, so instead Mio answered her who had a routine check-up on him earlier.

"He is fine. He is still asleep and recovering."

"Recovering? From what?" She asked as she didn't know about Naoki getting injured due to the storm.

"Ohh… umm…" Mio felt loss of words as he totally forgot that she didn't know about that part.

"Well you see…" He tried to come up with something to cover up immediately but Kotoko knew him better.

"Mio… What happened to Irie-kun?" She asked in an unexpectedly calm voice which made Mio to blurt out the truth.

"He was injured yesterday when he went out into the storm." At this Kotoko widen her eyes and tried to get up from her bed but he pushed her down and added "But they weren't serious injuries. He is fine." He skipped about his leg.

"What? What did you say?" She stared at Mio open-mouthed.

"He was exhausted mostly." He added. This wasn't a lie at all.

"Irie-kun…" She mumbled.

"Kotoko, what happened yesterday… to you both?" Mr. Aihara asked finally what they all wanted to know.

Kotoko looked around at all of them. They were looking very exhausted. She felt so guilty and started to tear up. Lately that's the only thing that she seems to be doing. Either she cries or she made her family cry for her. She should already just die and spare them all from all the hurting she was causing, she thought.

"Kotoko please… Naoki didn't talk to us yesterday. Please child, just tell us what happened. We can help." Mrs. Irie told her kindly slowing running her fingers through her hairs.

"It's… umm… the accident…" She sobbed.

"Accident? Which accident?" Mr. Aihara asked.

"Before my treatment started… I…" She stopped not knowing how to break this to them knowing it will hurt them too much.

Realisation hit Mio when he heard Kotoko utter those words. She was talking about the accident due to which he and Hana met her for the first time.

"He found out and you didn't tell him about that either? What the hell is wrong with you Kotoko?" Even Mio felt bad for Naoki and mad at Kotoko which he thought was never possible.

"I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have hid anything from him in the first place. But once I started, one thing led to another and in the end, I didn't tell him anything at all." She sobbed in her hands.

"We still don't get it." Yuki mumbled dreading the answer. He could guess what was coming and he hated the feeling.

Mio sighed looking at his friend who looked so helpless and weak. He decided to help her out and explained everything that took place during the time of her accident. The room remained pin drop silent when he finished. It nearly even made him gulp in fear since he felt like the culprit as he broke the news to them. He just looked from one to another.

Everybody else was staring at Kotoko who has her face hidden behind her palms as she was sobbing on them. A long silent followed after Mio was finished talking, partly because no one knew what to say. They were all flabbergasted. Also partly because they were thinking, trying to remember the time. They couldn't believe something this big happened right in front of them and it missed their eyes. Four sets of eyes!

"When… did this happen?" Finally Mrs. Irie asked in a shaky voice.

Mio stayed quiet because he wanted Kotoko to speak up. Mrs. Irie asked the question to her after all.

Kotoko tried to compose herself and replied to Mrs. Irie.

"Right before I went to visit grandma Yoshida."

"Your wrist was injured. Yes, your wrist was injured. But you said it was minor." Mr. Aihara mumbled.

"The wrist injury was minor otou-san. It heeled in four days."

"Your ribs were fractured." Yuki stated in a dry voice. "How did I not notice? You must have been in pain. I should have noticed. I promised oni-chan I will look after you when he moved to Kobe. But I absolutely failed him."

"It was not your fault Yuki. The pain wasn't too much." Kotoko tried to console him.

Mio just raised a brow hearing that statement but didn't intervene. Hiding facts to relief from the pain temporarily doesn't solve anything permanently. Kotoko just doesn't seem to get it. He just shook his head.

Yuki, on the other hand, just glared at her with hurtful eyes.

"You… you went to Yoshida-san's house only to hide this from us, didn't you?" Mrs. Irie asked in a trembling voice.

"Oka-san… I'm so sorry. I didn't think anything before I did that. I was too overwhelmed after I found out everything. I just needed some space. So I ran away… from everything." She said with broken voice.

The entire family fell into the dilemma. They wanted to be mad at Kotoko for hiding something like that but then they felt bad for her. Then they felt mad at themselves for being so oblivious and again felt sad about the whole situation. Overall they couldn't decide what to feel. They just felt messed up.

"I should have been honest to you all from the start. I shouldn't have hid anything." She repeated her lines. "I thought I would burden Irie-kun. I thought I was protecting him… protecting me from being a burden to everyone. But I didn't know I will end up hurting you all so badly. Please forgive me."

"Kotoko…" Her father went closer to her and gave her a hug. "How can you think you will be a burden to me?" He asked her patting on her head.

"Otou-san, after I found out about oka-san, I… I lost my mind. I knew nothing about Neuroshia at that time. Dr. Shinju explained things but I didn't understand everything. I thought oka-san wouldn't have died if she didn't have me. I thought about telling you, but then I couldn't find the courage to face you with the truth. I was blaming myself at that time."

"Kotoko…" Mr. Aihara tired to say something but she cut him off.

"I know… trust me, I know otou-san. I understood it later, that it wasn't my fault and I don't blame myself anymore."

"But I couldn't help it the first time I found out. It was too much for me." She sobbed at her father's arms.

Mr. Aihara didn't say anything. He just held onto his daughter tightly while she cried on his shoulder. He was also crying. Mr. Irie put his arm around his crying wife's shoulder to comfort her. Yuki looked around his family feeling frustrated. He was getting mad at himself being so unable to help any of them. He decided to check on Naoki. He looked for Mio who had snuck out of the room a while back.

Yuki found him in front of Naoki's cabin. Mio came out of the cabin when Yuki reached the door.

"Is oni-chan awake?" He asked him.

"Err… Well yes…" Mio hesitated.

"He refused to see us?" Yuki stated. He knew his oni-chan so well. He could read what was going through Naoki's mind right now. Naoki was probably feeling too guilty and mad right now. He would want to be left alone.

"Yes. He doesn't want to see anyone, even Kotoko." Mio replied.

Yuki sighed. He could feel how sad his brother was right now.

"How is he?" He asked.

"He is fine. His injuries weren't very serious and he is a fast healer. Dr. Ayano said he can get discharged soon." Mio replied him.

"Oh… That's a relief." Yuki mumbled looking down.

"What happened?" Yuki looked up when he heard Mio voice the question to the person behind him and turned around to see Hana coming towards them.

"Kotoko wants to see Dr. Irie." She replied Mio.

"But he refused to meet anyone. He wants to be left alone."

"I know. But I don't know what to tell Kotoko. She is really tensed and was crying to see him."

Mio sighed and scratched his forehead.

"Well… Let me talk to Dr. Irie again." He entered the cabin again. Hana and Yuki waited outside.

"Err… Dr. Irie?" Mio called Naoki moving closer to him. Naoki opened his eyes when he heard Mio but stared at the ceiling blankly.

"Your family really wanted to see you. Yuki-kun is right outside the door. Umm… Kotoko is also asking to see you." He told Naoki knowing full well that Naoki won't see any of them right now.

He could see it in his eyes. Empty eyes were talking a lot. Naoki was really vulnerable at this moment. He needed time. He needed to be alone. But at the same time he needs someone to reassure him that everything is okay. Everything is just fine.

Naoki sighed closing his eyes. He doesn't want to see anyone. He isn't ready to face anyone.

"Please… I don't want to…" He mumbled weakly. "Tell them to leave me alone."

"Are you sure you will be okay alone?" Mio asked him kindly.

Naoki nodded his head slightly in answer. Mio didn't press the matter anymore and left him alone again.

"What did he say?" Yuki asked as soon as Mio was out of the room. Mio just shook his head. Yuki let out a long breath. He knew this will happen.

"Let's inform the others." Yuki said that and walked towards Kotoko's cabin which was three doors to the right from Naoki's.

"What did he say?" Kotoko asked Hana when she entered the room after Yuki.

"He doesn't want to see y… anyone." Mio said bluntly. He knew Kotoko wouldn't listen if he talks nicely. Hana gaped at him.

 _Has he lost his mind?_ She wondered.

Kotoko stared at Mio desperately. She was dying to see Irie-kun. She needed to see him with her own eyes to be sure he was okay.

"Let him rest for a while Kotoko. I'm sure he will see us soon. Just give him some time." Yuki told her.

"Please don't cry." Hana added quickly moving closer to her.

Kotoko stopped her tears with difficulty. She couldn't make her family more worried. They suffered enough to last for a lifetime. Hana gave her friend a hug and patted on her back.

...

One more day passed…

Throughout the whole day Kotoko attempted to see Naoki many times but he kept refusing to see anyone. The next morning Kotoko was discharged. Mrs. Irie took her home immediately although she didn't want to leave Naoki. Mrs. Irie said she needed proper food.

Naoki was discharged at the evening. He told Dr. Ayano that he can go home alone, since Mrs. Irie who was in the hospital for them went home with Kotoko. But Dr. Ayano instructed Mio to inform his home. He didn't want Naoki to wonder around alone when he was so down emotionally. Dr. Ayano, Hana, Mio- they could tell Naoki was suffering for something, but they didn't pry on his personal business.

Mio called Yuki who left his contact number to Mio for emergency. Yuki told him he will be at the hospital as soon as possible.

Naoki signed his own discharge paper and was ready to leave when Yuki arrived to pick him up. Yuki didn't start driving yet, so they took the tube back home.

They walked home from the station. Naoki was very quiet during the entire ride. Yuki didn't bother him much.

"Yuki, I would like to go for a walk before I go home." Naoki said suddenly when they were near their home.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Yuki asked him already knowing the answer.

"No, that's fine. I won't be out for long." Naoki replied.

"Oni-chan… You should talk to Kotoko, you know?"

Naoki looked at Yuki blankly.

"You both should talk out everything. Earlier you didn't talk about anything and you both are suffering now for that. If you don't talk now, then you will suffer in the future for it." He said wisely.

Naoki stared at his brother. What he said was right. It made sense. Slowly a smile broke into Naoki's face. It felt like he smiled after ages.

 _When did Yuki grow up so much?_ He thought.

"You're right. Let's get home." He told Yuki.

Yuki smiled. They both resumed walking. When Yuki opened the front door for Naoki, they both entered a very quiet house. Yuki didn't inform anyone before he went to pick up Naoki. He had a hunch Naoki wouldn't want to come home straight and the delay might worry everyone. Also Naoki didn't need any loud welcomes and confetti right now. Although Mrs. Irie is too upset to do any of that right now.

Mr. Irie had just returned home from office and he was upstairs in their room. Kotoko was also in her room. Mrs. Irie was in the dining setting up the dinner. Mr. Aihara was still at work.

Naoki went in and sit on a sofa in the sitting area. Yuki closed the door and followed him.

"Yuki, is that you?" Mrs. Irie said while coming towards the front door to check.

"Naoki…" She called out loudly in surprise and dropped the chopsticks she was holding on the floor.

"You're home! When did you get discharged?" She asked running towards her son.

"Just now." Naoki replied and looked up at his devastated mother. He felt bad for her. She didn't deserve this. He got up and hugged her. Slowly patting her back he reassured her that he was okay.

Mrs. Irie held onto her son for a while then pulled back and called Mr. Irie to come downstairs. Mr. Irie half ran to downstairs when he heard his wife.

"Naoki, are you alright son?"

"Yes, otou-san. I'm absolutely fine now."

"That's good. You should rest." Mr. Irie advised him.

"Did you eat anything? Dinner is ready. I am setting up…" Mrs. Irie trailed off when she saw the person who just appeared at the door behind her husband.

"Irie-kun?"

Everybody looked behind Mr. Irie who also turned back to see Kotoko standing at the door holding the door frame.

"Kotoko! What are you doing here? You're not supposed to use the stairs yet." Mrs. Irie scolded her.

She didn't response but kept staring at Naoki who was holding back her gaze. Kotoko was told not to use the stairs. So every time she needed to use it Naoki carried her. Sometimes Yuki also volunteered if Naoki was unavailable.

Naoki couldn't look for too long at Kotoko. His mind went blank and he didn't know what to say. So he looked down. Guilt was eating him alive inside. He felt his hands started to shake.

"Irie-kun…" Kotoko moved closer. She was feeling scared. She thought Naoki was angry, as well as sad. She was afraid she broke him beyond repair.

Naoki didn't look up. He didn't know how to meet her eyes. He was trying to keep his composer very hard. But he failed. Tears started to fall astonishing his entire family. But they didn't utter a single word. They let him cry and take it out.

Kotoko flung her arms around him hugging him tightly. Naoki was shaking. He stood rigidly and cried silently in her embrace. She just held him and tried to shoot him silently.

After a while he pulled back and wiped his face. He felt slightly better after crying. He wanted to explain everything to his family. But when he intended to speak, his father cut it off.

"We know everything Naoki. Don't worry about us. You just take care of yourself."

Naoki nodded his head. He felt relive that he didn't have to go through the painful story again.

"I'm sorry I made you all worried. Running off like that was very immature." He said in a shaky voice.

"You're okay now. So everything is okay. But please don't ever scare me again like this." Mrs. Irie said putting a hand on his shoulder.

Naoki nodded again in agreement.

"Go to your room and rest. I will call you down for the dinner. Kotoko already ate." Mrs. Irie said.

"I had dinner in the hospital with Dr. Ayano before I left."

"Oh… okay then you should rest."

He nodded for the third time and moved towards the stairs. Kotoko followed him quietly feeling nervous. However when she was about to climb up, Naoki stopped her. He picked her up in bridal style.

"Irie-kun… I can go by myself."

"Oni-chan… I can take her."

"Naoki, you sure you can carry her?"

"Do you need help Naoki?"

Everybody talked at the same time.

"It's fine. I can handle it." He replied and started to climb up. Everybody followed him with their eyes but didn't object. If he says he's fine, then he is fine.

Kotoko and Naoki also remained silent until they reach their room.


	39. Chapter 39- Vows

**A/N:** First of all... Thank you so much everyone for the amazing responses. I have an apology for you all. I didn't realize I made Naoki's leg injury severe as it was not my plan at first. But then not injured at all in a storm was even more weird. I mentioned in chapter 37 that he might need crutches for a while then made him carry Kotoko in chapter 38 which contradicts. But in my defence he had well rested for 2 days in hospital. I didn't see this point when I was writing chapter 39 and going back in story and replacing will not be good. So I will just cover this up in chapter 40. :) Thank you for your patience everyone and thanks to MyNameIsBack for pointing it out to me. :)

* * *

 **Vows**

(Kotoko POV)

Irie-kun sat me down on the bed and went to close our bedroom door. He stood there for a minute without turning around. I was feeling numb with tension. My heart was hammering in my ribcage.

 _Does he resent me for what I did?_

 _What if he doesn't forgive me?_

 _What if he again thinks I don't trust him?_

Question after question flooded my brain. I couldn't sit still anymore. I got up from the bed and went near him. I don't know if he sensed me moving closer or not but he turned around when I was right behind him. He flinched and stepped back. Probably didn't expect to find me standing so close.

It pierced my heart. I automatically wanted to step closer but stopped myself at the end. He doesn't want me near… I guess.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out of it. Why am I so pathetic? Why can't I say anything when I need to speak up… something? Anything?

He looked up at me straight in my eyes. So many expressions changed one after another on his face. Then suddenly he moved closer and I was pulled into his arms. He buried his face in my neck.

Relief spread through my whole body. _He doesn't hate me._

"I'm sorry Kotoko." I heard him say.

I shook my head violently. Why is _he sorry_? It's I who should be sorry. I have hurt him.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know… anything. You went through so much. You suffered so much. I can never make it up to you."

He pulled away to look me in my eyes. I was about to tell him that I should be the one to say sorry but he cut me.

"No don't. Let me talk. I need to tell you this." I closed my mouth when he said that.

"All these months… years… you wear alone. You suffered alone. Even when I was with you, I never realised if I hurt you. I took you for granted. I thought you love me and I love you back. That should be enough."

"But it is enough for me Irie-kun. Your love is all I ever wanted." I couldn't stop myself saying that. His voice was filled with so much pain and guilt. I wanted him to stop.

"But it is not enough for me. You're my wife. I should be the one to protect you. But I failed… miserably… in all my duties as a husband."

"No you didn't." I said desperately.

"Yes, I did." His voice was almost calm.

I shook my head in negative again denying it. This conversation surprisingly felt exactly the same as the previous one we had after he found out about Neuroshia. I was right. He is blaming and hating himself again.

"I can understand why you did what you did. But I can never forgive myself for what I did to you. I will ask for your forgiveness for the rest of my life but it still wouldn't be enough."

"Irie-kun, you don't have to do that. I forgive you for everything." I held his hand and squeezed it to assure him.

"No Kotoko. I have to do it. I have to." Moving closer, he put his right hand on my cheek and I leaned my face on it instantly closing my eyes to savour the moment.

"You're so precious Kotoko. I never treasured you enough. I never treated you the way you should be treated."

I opened my eyes to find him looking at me intensely. His intense gaze made me shiver but I needed to stop him from blaming himself.

"Irie-kun, don't say that. You…"

"I never gave you the love… the attention that you deserved." He continued stopping me. "I put all the burdens on your shoulder. You alone had to work for our relationship. You alone had to make all the plans. I never realised you were not alone in this relation. I was there too. It was my responsibility too." He gulped.

I grabbed his hand which was on my cheek tightly.

"I was so self absorbed that I neglected you when you are the reason of my happiness. I neglected my own happiness."

"Irie-kun, you're my only happiness too. I can't see you in pain. Please stop hurting yourself with all the self blaming."

"I deserve it. I deserve all the pain I'm going through. This is still nothing compared to what you went through alone."

"No you don't. I told you, I was never alone. I always had your support. The entire family was with me. Yes, I hid the truth. I didn't tell everything honestly. But I did share my burdens with you when I needed to."

"You are an amazing soul you know." He mumbled after staying quiet for a moment.

"Huh?" I was confused.

"You're satisfied too easily. You never complain."

"I have you. I don't want anything else. You are enough for me."

Irie-kun pulled me into a hug again. He wrapped his both arms around me and I placed my head on his chest.

"But it's not enough for me. I want to be that person to whom you can depend on. I want to be the one who can protect you. I want you to trust me with all your pains. I want you to know that I love you. I loved you since high school and I will love you till I die."

The definition of happiness is right this moment. My heartbeats went crazy and lost their normal steady pace as I swooned over the cloud. We have been married for so many years and I have lost count of how many times he said that to me. But nonetheless, each time he tells me that me loves me, I feel like I am on the top of the world, the happiest soul on the earth. I feel like the high school girl who fell for him and I fall for him all over again. I know this sounds crazy but that is exactly what I am for him… crazy.

"I love you more." I mumbled holding him firmly.

"I know." He said and placed a kiss on top of my head.

"Please Kotoko, I need you to promise me, you will tell me everything and you will never hide anything from me ever again."

"I promise Irie-kun." I agreed in a heartbeat. I am never repeating my mistakes ever again.

He pulled away and kissed me very gently on my lips. But it was so short that when he pulled away, I craved for more. He pulled me towards the bed and we both sat down side by side on it.

"I am so sorry to you too." I said sincerely turning my head towards him.

"You don't…" He started to say something but this time I stopped him.

"No. it's my turn. Let me." I looked into his eyes. He put his arm around my shoulder.

He looked like he wanted to intervene but then he decided to let me talk and just nod his head.

"I told you before and I'm telling you this again. I never meant to drag this on for so long. Also I never wanted you to find out about all this in the way you did. It was wrong to hide things from you. But the way you found out about them is even more wrong. I should have told you everything the moment you stepped back to Tokyo from Kobe. But I was a coward and I hurt you… so bad." I paused for a moment.

"I know grandma Yoshida didn't mean to hurt you or me. She just wanted to make sure I was safe."

"Yes, I know that." He agreed. I looked down and continued.

"After you found out about Neuroshia, I was scared again to tell you about the accident. You were already in so much pain. Then everyone found out about oka-san and about… about my pregnancy complexity."

He rubbed on my shoulder slowly to comfort me. I put my head on his shoulder.

"I didn't want to cause more pain to everyone by talking about the accident. It was my fault after all. I was weak and in that condition I shouldn't have gone out wondering alone. I should have known better. I was studying nursing during that time and still I was careless."

He kept quiet and listened to me while soothing me by running his fingers through my hairs.

"But honestly, when everyone found out about Neuroshia, I was slowly preparing to let everyone know about the accident. Believe me." I looked up at him.

He looked at me with piercing eyes and after a while nodded.

"I would have told you because I didn't want you to find out about it from the reports anyway. And certainly not from…" I stopped. I meant to say certainly not from the scars I had on my body. But I couldn't. I blushed slightly and coughed to change my sentence.

"… not from the photographs." He looked sceptically at me. I blushed again.

What the hell? Why am I acting like some high school girl? I am married to this man but I still feel shy talking to him about being intimate.

"Anyway, umm… as I was saying, I wanted to tell you, but then after the therapy I went to comma and then came back and I honestly forgot that I didn't tell you about it yet or that I was preparing for telling you. It just went out of my mind… totally."

Irie-kun nodded again. I knew he noticed me blushing and probably he had an idea as to why I was blushing. But he didn't say anything about it. He just simply put a kiss on my forehead.

"Let's start over again Kotoko. Give me another chance. I promise you I won't let you down. I will prove you that I am worthy for you. I know you wanted to become home for me. Let me do the same for you."

 _How did he know that? Oh never mind. I am so happy he said that._

"Let's start over then." I smiled at him.

"I love you… Irie-kun."

"I love you more… Kotoko." He grinned at me and I mirrored his grin.

We again pulled each other into another kiss simultaneously.


	40. Chapter 40- Connection of the souls

**A/N:** Okaaaaaaaaay so umm this is a first for me and I'm soooooo not sure if I should write anything like this. Conflicted inside haha. *hides face* Thank you so much everyone for your support. And sorry about the length of this chapter.

* * *

 **Connection of the souls**

(General POV)

The kiss started off as gentle again. None of them were in any hurry. They both needed each other, yes. It's been nearly two years since they had been together. Kotoko avoided Naoki like a plague after he returned from Kobe and then after Naoki found out about Neuroshia, he refrained himself from getting intimate as Kotoko was weak. In fact, the last time they did anything more than kissing was when Kotoko visited Naoki two months after he moved to Kobe.

They pulled away when they needed air.

Naoki moved to the middle of the bed pulling Kotoko with him. During the process he hurt his leg a little and flinched slightly.

"Are you okay?" Kotoko asked immediately feeling concerned.

"It's fine. It was just a strain, not fracture like the emergency aid stuffs thought. It had almost healed." He smiled at her.

Kotoko also smiled in answer. Naoki put his head down on his pillow while Kotoko just used his arms as her pillow and wrapped her hands around him.

"I scared you… didn't I?" Kotoko mumbled after staying silent for a while.

"Enough for the entire lifetime." Naoki responded softly.

Kotoko sighed and moved her head over his chest. She placed her ears right on top of his heart and listened to his steady heartbeat. It was soothing for her mind. She missed him so much. She missed being with him… in his arms.

She started to trace the muscles near his heart with her right hand. She was reminiscing the feeling that she missed all these times. She was starting to remember the nights she spent alone yearning for his love… and to be loved.

Her hand started to act on its own accord. Her brain didn't register when her hand had already moved down on his V line, tracing it through the layers of cloths.

Naoki couldn't control the groan which slipped through his mouth. He grabbed her hand with his, stopping it from moving further south.

"Kotoko…" He warned her in a low voice.

"Irie-kun?" She looked up at him with questioning eyes. Naoki just shook his head in negative with pleading eyes, hoping she would understand what he was going through.

But… she didn't… _obviously!_

"Don't you miss me?" She asked instead.

Naoki was perplexed. Did she just ask him that?

 _Didn't she hear the erratic heartbeats right under her ear? It was thumping so loud._

 _Didn't she feel how tensed his body had gotten due to the little ministrations that her hand was having at it?_

 _Didn't she know how much he missed her… all of her right now?_

Naoki stared at her innocent face for a second. _Nope she was oblivious to how hard he was fighting to keep his self control._

He tightened his grab on her hand and pushed it near her head while flipping her on her back with her head still on his arm. She was startled by the sudden change of position but Naoki didn't let her utter a single word. He hovered over her from the side and smashed his lips on her in a hungry kiss.

When Kotoko reciprocated, he bit her making her moan loudly and then deepened the kiss. Kotoko tried to keep up but she soon lost to the intensity which consumed her whole mind. She couldn't think straight anymore. When both of their lungs were totally out of air, Naoki pulled away. He put his forehead on hers breathing hard. None of them could say anything for a few moments.

"You think I don't miss you? Did that answer your question?" He asked her in a rasped voice.

Kotoko's mind was still reeling. She barely nodded when she heard his question.

"You really have no idea how hard it is for me to stay away from you do you?" He asked quietly pressing himself on her side.

Kotoko grasped when she felt him even through the thick layers of their clothes. Her breathing hitched.

"Don't stay away then." She mumbled.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

Naoki looked conflicted. He held her gaze while fighting with his inner self. He wanted to get lost in her but he wasn't sure if she was ready for him yet. She was still weak.

But he lost the battle. To be honest, he was already fighting a losing battle from the start. The moment she put her hand on him, he had lost it.

Naoki put a pillow under Kotoko's head and hovered over her. He looked into her eyes intently.

"Are you sure? We can wait till you get better."

"I have never been better." Her eyes were answering for her that she was sure of what she wanted.

That was all he needed. Naoki lowered himself on her and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. He put one hand on her cheek and tilted her head in one side, placing kisses along her jaw and continued down her neck. He smiled when he found her pulsing point.

Kotoko inhaled sharply when she felt him place open-mouth kiss on her pulse point and then he bit her. Kotoko moaned softly and pulled on his hair. Naoki then moved down to her collar bone and repeated his wonder work.

Naoki tugged on her pyjama top, wanting it off. She complied and helped him to take it off. Naoki threw the top somewhere on the bed and looked down at her. Immediately Kotoko covered herself with her hands feeling self conscious. She mentally smacked herself for forgetting her condition.

Due to the medicine reactions, her body has blotches in several places. It wasn't like Naoki didn't know or haven't seen them. He knows. He always helped her changing clothes or taking bath these few months. But nonetheless Kotoko felt nervous under his intense stare.

"You're more beautiful than you ever were Kotoko. From inside and out… an amazing soul."

Tears dropped from Kotoko's eyes but Naoki removed them with his hand and massaged his hand on her face slightly. He placed a kiss on her forehead and then removed her hands to take in the beauty that was presented before his eyes. It was never enough for him, no matter how much he looked. It was always a wonder to him.

His eyes fell on the fading scars of her fractured ribs. Initially he thought that was also a blotch. But now when he knew, he could easily distinguish between them. Guilty conscience took over his whole feature. His smile dropped and his eyes filled up in despair. Kotoko knew instantly what was on his mind. She grabbed his shaky hands with hers and pulled herself in the sitting position. Naoki was straddling her but he kept his weight on his knees. Kotoko made him look into her eyes when she spoke.

"Irie-kun… I'm absolutely fine now. I can't change what happened and neither can you. But now we are together. I'm here with you… in your arms. I'm here Irie-kun."

His eyes brimmed with tears. Naoki crushed her into a hug and held her tightly on his chest while she just rubbed her hand on his back. After a while he only pulled away to kiss her. He laid her back down and continued kissing her.

He poured all his emotions in his movements and showered her with the love that was deep inside his heart. He tried to heal all the fractures he caused to her soul as well as to his with love. Kotoko has long lost herself within himself. All she could think of now was only Naoki.

When they united, it wasn't only a connection of the bodies but the connection of their souls. And finally that night they found peace in the arms of the other who they loved… right where they belonged.


	41. Chapter 41- Epilogue

**Epilogue**

(Kotoko POV)

Two years…

It's been two years since I woke up from the coma. One year, since I was finally told that I have made a complete recovery. The deadly disease was at last defeated.

I still remember this day a year ago, clear in my head. Words had failed me and I was overwhelmed with pure happiness. It wasn't like I didn't expect this. I knew I would recover. I believed it. I had my full faith on Irie-kun. I knew he wouldn't give up on me. I knew he would save me.

Nonetheless, I was extremely relived when Dr. Ayano finally allowed my discharge for the last time. I could literally hug him. I was just so happy!

Instead I flung myself on Irie-kun who immediately warped his arms around me and held me tightly. I didn't even realise when I started sobbing and he rubbed on my back to sooth me.

"You did it. You did it Kotoko. You fought and won the war." He had mumbled to my ear.

"It was you who made it possible Irie-kun. It was all you." I had pulled back to meet his eyes. He gave me a heart-stopping smile.

"We won." He simply said.

I was breathless and could only smile in answer at him.

"I love you Irie-kun."

"I love you more Kotoko."

...

You can't imagine how I was welcomed home that day. Oka-san made sure it was a grand welcome. Although I was really grateful, that the welcome party only consisted the family including Konomi-chan. Well she is already considered family by us. But I'm pretty sure that our loud cheers and laughter were heard by our entire neighbourhood. I love my family.

After that dreadful confrontation about my accident, Irie-kun and I promised each other that we would never hide anything ever. I actually made sure I keep that promise. I always opened up to him for everything and he did that too. Talking things out was much easier than keeping things in.

My treatment had progressed positively since after the coma. Yes, it took nearly a year for the full recovery but the research was a success. I was the first Neuroshia patient in the entire Japan who was cured from the disease. Even though many patients in the states has also made a total recovery but still I was an exception as my condition didn't trigger due to pregnancy.

So, yes it was a huge deal. Several medical conferences were held throughout Japan and Dr. Ayano even attended conference in the states at which Irie-kun refused to join. I told him it was okay for him to leave me for a few days but I guess he was still not ready to let me out of his sight. It probably required a while.

Who am I kidding? It's already a year and he still isn't prepared.

Not that I'm complaining! Nope. Not at all.

I love him around me. Every minute… every second is precious.

Now that I have been so closer to my end, I love him even more. I love my life even more and I try to appreciate every single thing in it. I try to take things positively all the time. Life is too short to give attention to the negative energy. Life is too precious to get depressed over the depressing stuff. So I try to stay simple and I enjoy my life and accept whatever it has to offer me.

 _Too deep?_ Am I blabbering too much?

Haha. Sorry about that. Let's not talk about me for a while.

Irie-kun.

Always my favourite topic to talk about.

Well he is busy as usual. _What a real surprise!_

But it really isn't his fault. He had to write several papers on the research of Neuroshia with Dr. Ayano. He also had to focus on his work back in Tonan too as I was okay now. But on the plus side, I had also resumed my work back at Hope.

Moreover, I was a volunteer nurse at Tonan. This means, if they requires extra help during crisis I would be on call.

Everyone else back at home was also busy with their own things. Otou-san is busy with his business and oka-san with us. She makes sure I eat properly and always gives me extra attention. I don't mind that. I know where this is coming from. I know she is still worried about me. Same goes for my otou-san. He is busy with the restaurant but nevertheless finds enough time to spend with me.

One of the best things that happened during the year is that Yuki-kun finally managed to confess his feelings for Konomi-chan. At least he took less time than his older brother! I'm so happy for them.

Mio introduced Hana to his family recently and they are engaged now. They wanted to get married early next year.

That's not all! Kinnosuke and Chris also got married. Although, it didn't happen without some drama! Chris was hospitalized as she got burnt in the leg by hot oil. And out of all the time of the year, Kin-chan chose to propose her in the hospital. Then guess what! She refused!

 _Shocker_ , right?

Apparently she was insecure about the burn and probably her hormones kicked in. But Kin-chan managed to win her heart in the end, assuring her that no matter what, she is always the most beautiful woman in his eyes.

The previous year was actually full of good news. Well accept probably one thing. I was still unsure about the possibility of being pregnant. My complexity was not certain and all the uncertainty always bugged me. Irie-kun told me not to worry but I just couldn't get it out of my mind. It always stayed at the back of my head and gave me stress from time to time.

.

 _Now was one of those times._

I was currently sitting on my bed tightly clutching on the pregnancy test kit and staring at the result it displayed.

Positive.

And I was _freaking_ out.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I am not happy or anything. Because I _am_ happy. But I am scared too.

What does that actually makes me?

Happily scared?

I'm not even making any sense to myself!

I wanted to test again just to make sure but I ran out of the testing kit.

I sighed. Looks like I have to go and see the doctor. But I decided to keep the news to myself in case it was a false bell. Last time I didn't use my brain enough and broke everybody's heart. Okay that may sound exaggerating. But yeah everyone was so happy and then bam… false alarm… obviously they were sad.

I decided not to wait. I was still not sure if I was prepared to conceive. What if the baby undergoes some kind of problems due to my previous condition? I know I was fully cured but still I couldn't help feeling uneasy. I needed to be sure.

Irie-kun. I need to tell him.

I had morning shift at Hope today. My afternoon was off. Irie-kun was also at Hope in the morning but went to Tonan for the afternoon. I decided to go there straight way.

And I exactly did that. Irie-kun was surprised to see me.

"Kotoko? Why are you here? Is everything okay?" he sound concerned.

"Everything is great. Relax Irie-kun." I offered him a smile. He smiled in answer.

"I… um… actually…" I felt loss of words suddenly. His smile faded.

"What happened?" He creased his forehead. There. Back being worried again.

"I may or may not be pregnant." I blurted out.

"Sorry?" He blinked.

"I took a test at home just now, and it says positive?" My statement sounded more like a question which I'm sure further confused him.

I sighed. But before I had to open my mouth again he realised what I said and immediately grabbed my hand dropping the file he was holding on his table and pulled me out of the room with him. I didn't have to ask him to know where he was taking me. We were going to the OB GYN department for sure.

It took a while. This time we waited for the result in silence. Although, I was dying to know what he was thinking. But I was too anxious with my own thoughts. So I didn't pry on his.

Irie-kun held my hand and squeezed it. I looked up at him and then followed his gaze and saw my doctor. She was smiling.

"Congratulations to both of you. You're 3 weeks pregnant."

A smile broke into my face. I immediately turned to look at Irie-kun and was relieved to see my expression reflecting on his face.

Then I was stunned when he pulled me into a hug suddenly. Irie-kun rarely does that in public. But I relaxed immediately and hugged me back.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear.

Well I was way too much happy to be able to reply anything to him.

When we pulled apart we saw the doctor studying my file. She was being considerate and giving us space. That was sweet.

We discussed about my current condition for a while and then left. I suggested dropping by at Hope and he agreed. We wanted to be absolutely sure about my condition before announcing it to the family.

Dr. Ayano assured everything will be fine. Also just in case any problem arises, the whole Neuroshia team will be prepared. They decided to monitor my condition until the baby was born.

I felt grateful. I felt calm. Everything will be fine. I decided to hope for the best.

The party was smashing. Everyone back at home was unbelievably happy. Each and every face was radiant with pure happiness. I felt so much lighter. Finally my family was happy again.

...

It was night time. I was lying in Irie-kun's arm. My mind was still reeling and my breathing was yet to become regular. Irie-kun poured so much passion in the way he loved me, I might have fell for him deeper if that was even possible.

"You know I love you right?" I mumbled when I caught my breath.

"You made sure that I do know that just now." He smirked playfully indicating my constant love confessions that I repeated while he made me crazy with wild sensations.

I smacked on his arm and smiled. He laughed at my reaction and pulled me closer.

"I love you."

He told me softly looking at my eyes and then smashed his lips against mine.

I smiled on his lips before I matched with his movements which exploded fireworks all over me.

He just couldn't get enough of me.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is our eternal love story.

* * *

 **A/N:** This is it people. End of my story. I hope the ending is not rushed. But I thought a lot and I feel that I have told everything there is to tell in the story. There is nothing left to tell. But it's a happy ending, yeaiii.. :D

Since my story is focused on the romance and not on the medical stuffs, I decided to skip the whole treatment part. The therapy and everything, it will only complicate the story. Besides, I don't know much about the medical processes so it's better this way.

Anyway, I still can't believe I have done it. I actually finished the story! Although it took a lot longer than I thought it would, I mean more than a year! It's a long time! But I'm so happy that I finally finished it and it wouldn't be possible without you all. Each and every one of you has been such a wonderful inspiration. I loved writing it. Thank you so much for everything… every comments… It's absolutely trilling to have someone who appreciates your work except your best friend. :D

I love you all. Thank you again!

Shomon


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